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Top 10 Last Chances To Make The Stimulus Work

It appears the intellecterati (my word) has determined the stimulus was a miserable failure.

I contend that this isn't true because there are still things left for liberals to try....


10. Commission study on how studying climate change affects demand for magic 8 balls.

9. Green jobs to harvest the natural gas that comes from inside the earth's liberals.

8. Green jobs building high fuel efficiency bicycles.

7. Fund an exploratory committee for Obama's challenge to Palpatine for Galactic Emperor.

6. Relieve the financial burden of seniors by paying for either ALL of their AARP dues, or only for Helen Thomas's, retroactively.

5. Bailout the liberalism's moral bankruptcy

4. Commission scientists to track the rate of decline in the blood alcohol level of Ted Kennedy's corpse.

3. Shovel ready jobs for unemployed fans of Planned Parenthood.

2. Job retraining programs for people stuck in unskilled labor, like Vice President of the United States.

1. Cancel half of what is left of it, take the other half and bribe Obama to leave politics forever.