The best email I've seen in a while.
While hiking down along the border this morning, I saw a Muslim extremist fall into the Rio Grande River; he was struggling to stay afloat because of all the guns and bombs he was carrying.
Along with him was a Mexican who was also struggling to stay afloat because of the large backpack of drugs that was strapped to his back. If they didn't get help they'd surely drown.
Being a responsible Texan, and law abiding citizen, I know I have to help those in distress.
I immediately informed the El Paso County Sheriff's Office and Homeland Security.
It is now 4 pm, both have drowned, and neither authority has responded.
I'm starting to think I wasted two stamps...