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13 New Congressional Sandwiches

From I Hate The Media:

The Los Angeles Times reports, “After making headlines this week for accusing a congressional cafeteria of selling him a ‘dangerous’ sandwich, Congressman Dennis Kucinich, D-Ohio, released a statement today announcing his lawsuit seeking $150,000 in damages had been settled.”

Surely, that sandwich will forever more be known in the Congressional cafeteria as the Kucinich Special. We’re pretty sure customers are already lining up and saying, “Gimme that Dennis Kucinich sandwich.”

With that in mind, it seems to us that the Congressional cafeteria should introduce a whole line of sandwiches named after Washington, DC political and media types.

Please allow us to make some suggestions:

The Obama Surprise: Some days it’s all baloney and no bread. Other days it’s de-boned and spineless chicken on dark rye (You never really know what you’ll get. That’s why it’s called a surprise.)

The Barney Frank: Rump roast with an extra helping of salami.

The Harry Reid: Cold, aged beef with no seasoning on white bread.

The Ed Schultz: Beef tongue with an extra serving of fat. Always served hot.

The Keith Olbermann: This item has been removed from the menu.

The Joe Biden: This is a huge f’ing sandwich. It contains a lot of f’ing pork. It’s a f’ing fork-ready project. (NOTE: The Joe Biden Combo comes one fry short of a happy meal.)

See the rest here.

h/t iOwnTheWorld.