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Astrologers Deem and Pass a New Zodiac Sign

It's true...Google it!

There is a 13th sign that has apparently always been around but not used under western astrology. The new sign is called out...not that you wont be able to recognize it, ObamaCare is easier to read...

Capricorn: Jan. 20 - Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16 - March 11
Pisces: March 11- April 18
Aries: April 18 - May 13
Taurus: May 13 - June 21
Gemini: June 21 - July 20
Cancer: July 20 - Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10 - Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16 - Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30 - Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23 - Nov. 29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29 - Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17 - Jan. 20

I'd feel more comfortable assigning blame for murder to Palin

I'm not going to elaborate any further because I'm not a trained astrologist. I don't want to pontificate on these things because your astrological sign has a lot to do with your identity. Which is worrisome for me because Socrates said "know thyself," and that's a problem because my new sign is the new guy on the list. I can't even pronounce it, let alone know what it will do to my soul.

......I don't even know who I am anymore.

Another reason this stinks is if you thought Leos, for example, were douches because a certain sitting president - who shall remain nameless - was one, and you hit your knees praising God that you are a and still get to be a Cancer....after you explain to Him what a Zodiac is...following this change, do you think he'll answer your prayer to change it all back because said president is now a Cancer too?

People actually use this crap to determine their futures via horoscope and figure out their relationships with other people based on which sign they're most compatible with.

And now it's all about to change with the snap of a finger because of some sign nobody can even begin to pronounce, which is probably why they left it out in the first place.

For people who believe this stuff, this should put truth to the lie that it's totally meaningless. Not that most people needed to be told that in the first place, but a lot of people believe in its power.

My horoscope will tell me how much you hate science

Considering that astrologers are a typically liberal bunch, I wonder what they think this all means relative to they way they poop themselves over the so-called "war on science" conservatives wage against issues like global warming.

On a different note...Hey University of Arizona...what's your new sign?

Too soon?


Apparently it all may be a hoax...standing by...