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How Many Republicans Does It Take To Screw In a Light Bulb?

Years ago, before I started The Looking Spoon, some guy (a liberal) on this message board I used frequent on Myspace (when it, and Obama were still cool) posted this question. I found this response in a word doc while going through some old computer files, and I still like it.

My response was as follows:

One, because he'll just do it.

Unless of course a Democrat is his supervisor....

Then he'll have to make sure his union contract allows him to handle light bulbs. If it does then he will have to make sure the light bulb was made in a union light bulb factory.

Before he inserts the bulb he will need an OSHA inspector to make sure there is no water within a 2 mile radius so that the Republican doesn't get shocked. The OSHA inspector must also inspect the rubber gloves he must wear (because rubber is not a conductor, as determined by an appointed joint committee of OSHA, the FDA, the CDC, the EPA, and the NWA) for any holes that could subject him to shock.

After the light bulb is screwed in, the dead light bulb (assuming the light bulb screwed in was replacing another light bulb) must be inspected to make sure that it was built in a union shop. If not the FBI will have to be dispatched to investigate this slip in the EPA approved crack.

Before the light bulb is discarded it must be observed by a federal safety commissioner (not to be confused with OSHA) and an EPA field representative to make sure that it is disposed of in an eco-friendly and child-proof way.

Afterward, an after-action report will have to be filed and the above mentioned joint comittee will have to be briefed on it. To make sure everything is above-board it will have to air on C-Span.

So the real question is, how many Democrats does it take to screw in a light bulb....but there are so many mitigating factors...I'll have to just estimate....237