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Conservative Satire Headlines October 22, 2010

Reid worried his "but for me we'd be in a world-wide depression" statement has been grossly misinterpreted by gay community

Voters gear up to show Democrats that the stimulus did in fact produce shovel ready projects

Sharron Angle leaves Nevada voters confused after urging them to vote for the "only real woman" running for Senator.

GOP reassures NPR they don't want to "defund" the network, they just want to change its funding to one dollar per listener.

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What Else Would We Have, But for Harry Reid?

In case you missed it...

WOW! Somebody get this guy a cape and an alter ego. Maybe Barack and Nancy can do that since the stimulus was apparently a one-man show. This begs the question, what else what else would we have, but for Harry Reid?......

We'd have one less exception to "'i' before 'e' except after 'c'".

We'd be able to say "Mormons are actually really awesome...but for Harry Reid."

The average pitch of the human male would be 30% lower

We'd have one less narcissist in the senate who thinks their reflection should be the tie breaking vote.

We'd have a chance in hell that bifocals could become cool

We'd have a senator that support the troops better than the jock strap he wears as a gender diversion

Lost jobs would be bad unless it was his.

Obama's "negro dialect" would be known as his "voice."

Searchlight wouldn't have to claim such a dimwit.

Sharon Angle would be the most feminine person in the race.

Did I miss anything?

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Trying To Put The President Under A Microscope...

Obama's microscopic credibility

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Conservative Satire Headlines October 21, 2010

Discovery of water on the moon renews hope that science will one day find life in Biden's head

NPR CEO denounces Juan Williams's statement about Muslims on planes, adds she's not bigoted enough to examine who she flies with on her private jet

Al Queda issues statement of concern that Williams's firing by NPR is a sign they are not being taken seriously enough

Biden calls on Pelosi to join him in his idea to convince GOP voters to vote Democrat by re-registering Republican.

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Let's Give NPR A New Name...

As if it wasn't enough for the harpies on The View to live in denial about the nature of our attacker when Bill O'Reilly was willing to confront them with it. NPR has now fired Juan Williams for this...

Can anyone at NPR say with a straight face that they have no idea what Juan is talking about? Their awareness of who flies on a plane with them hasn't been heightened at all since 9-11?

I think its time to rename National Public Radio, because I don't know what public they think they're serving, but its not the American one...



Nutjobs that

Prodigies at being


Piles of
Rat scat

Numbskulls constantly
Proven to be


Prophylactic against
Rational thought

Help me out here people, give me your ideas!

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If Man Came From Monkeys, Did Monkeys Come From The French?

My hatred of the French has always been something that was relatively intangible...until now....

Battling for benefits is a tradition in the Gilly family, passed from generation to generation — as it is for families across the country. And that goes some way toward explaining why the protests against plans to raise France's retirement age have shown such determination and ferocity.

For Gilly and many other Frenchmen and women, social benefits such as long vacations, state-subsidized health care and early retirement are more than just luxuries: They're seen as a birthright — an essential part of the identity of today's France.

The protest against a government plan to raise the retirement age to 62 has special meaning for five members of the Eric Gilly clan who are demonstrating in the streets of Marseille.

"We want to stop working at 60 because it's something our parents, our grandparents and even our great-grandparents fought for," says Gilly, 50, a union representative at Saint-Pierre Cemetery, the largest in this bustling Mediterranean port city.

"And over the years ... you can see that we're losing everything they fought for. And that's unacceptable."

Read the rest of French strike to save 'birthright' of privileges here.

Every election since 9-11 has been billed as the most important election of our lifetime to the point of it sounding almost cliche....almost. The truth is it's true everytime it's said because every time it comes to vote the sense that our societal stability is in jeopardy becomes more dire.

Europe is like the trapped action hero whose arch nemesis, Socialist Sam (Uncle Sam's evil fraternal twin brother, who I envision to have Karl Marx's intellect and Pelosi's dashing good looks), is explaining the elaborate gruesome death that awaits them, and liberals in America are begging for us to be allowed to go next.

The French are wimps, pansies, and wimpy pansies. We've known this forever. The toughest guy they could produce, Napoleon Bonaparte, was so small he could've been Tinkerbell's stunt double.

I also maintain the theory that they only have nukes so they can better toast the only weapon of mass destruction they ever intend to use...French toast...

The real mystery remains is whether or not its in their DNA, or is it socialism that has made them softer than their cheese.

In any case, according to 50 year old Eric Gilly retiring at 60 is a birthright...a birthright?!?

(from the AP article) It was in 1982, under Socialist President Francois Mitterrand, that the minimum age to stop working was lowered from 65 to 60. The measure, emblematic of the 14-year Mitterrand presidency, was adopted by a special ordinance that bypassed parliament.

Mr. Gilly Silly was 22 when this "birthright" was bestowed upon him. If that doesn't make things clear enough how about this...he was in his 88th trimester when he was told that he could spend ALL of his sixties thinking about who would be the next to invade France WITHOUT the distraction of having a job.

Note the way Mitterrand had to "bypass" parliament to get it done. Remember how "deem and pass" was going to be the way Pelosi was going to pass ObamaCare before she was able to make Bart Stupak the dumbest member of Congress east of San Francisco?

This is where liberals in America ultimately want to take us. THIS ALSO is the most important election ever. Since FDR we have been inching to this point, and the current leadership of the left slapped on the rocket boosters. It has been understood by pretty much all of conservative punditry that this is it...this election is the line in the sand because the next step takes us over the cliff and into freefall.

Smokers are jokers

Liberals, "progressives," socialists, whatever you want to call them, are so self-absorbed and obsessed with creating a culture of dependence that will serve as their power battery that they don't care about the imminent fiscal catastrophe that faces us. The world economy is a car, and America has been that car's engine. Liberals in France have made them the passenger side ashtray.

Liberals want to turn America into the world's driver side ashtray! Yes, the GOP screwed up pretty bad to get us to this point where the country wanted to elect people who think Uncle Sam would prefer to masticate cigarette poop. No matter how incompetent they are nobody can say the GOP wants that.

That's ultimately what this next election is about....Republican vs. Democrat....conservative vs. liberal....engine vs. ashtray.


P.S. I don't think the first lady, BY ANY MEANS, is fat. It is said that you roast the ones you love, I'll let you know as soon as I do the proper justification for roasting her.

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Conservative Satire Headlines October 20, 2010

After a 4 month break I'm going to bring the satire headlines back! I know I know, you're all super excited!!!!

It's going to be a little different from before. I'll package them into little posts instead of tweets and status updates (I'm only going to do that for my favorites). Before I would do 1-2 per day, but I'm going to shoot for 3-5 a day.

Rove tells Der Spiegel Obama is an "utter disaster," Biden fires back "Dammit Karl he's a president not a dairy farmer!"

Sarkozy now worried conflict in France over lifting retirement age may be never-ending as white flag makers join strikes

9th Circuit stays overturn of Don't Ask Don't Tell policy over emerging interest in transferring the policy from "gays serving" to "terrorist rules of engagement."

Obama cancels trip to Sikh temple during trip to India, being reassured that Sikhs are not Muslim the president replied, "exactly."

Pelosi swears off botox to prove point that things can indeed go lower than her latest approval rating.

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If Chris Coons Could Debate Christine O'Donnell Again...

Coons's Constitution

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Caption Fun: Obama On His Dorky Bike

Apparently this picture is a bit old, but I just found it and its too good to not comment on!

Obama on his dorky bike

They say a picture says a thousand words...lets see if I can find a few of 'em....

Michelle MADE me paint it blue...and she said that I can't buy pink bikes ever again :-(

I stopped letting Barney borrow it because he forgets to put the seat back on.

For Joe's birthday I slapped some chicken wings on it, gave it to him and called it Air Force 2.

I wanted to get a basket for Bo, but there's not enough room for him and my ego.

Even though I took off the flame stickers I still think this helmet makes me look too macho...

I call the tires hope and change because they constantly go flat.

The shoes and helmet match the bike, and gay people still give me crap?!?

So how awesome are these training wheels?!?

This would be a lot easier to ride if Michelle let me wear my bike shorts instead of her "gardening" jeans...

I can't talk about government spending while riding this thing...for some reason the breaks stop working...

This seat would be really uncomfortable if I had balls...

The sunglasses make me look bad ass, but shouldn't I be wearing safety goggles?

Al Gore would be pissed because Michelle's cooking makes this a high emissions vehicle...

Alright guys, show me what you got!


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Its Nice To Know Pelosi Wont Have Democrat Support When They Lose The House

My "editorial" comments will be embedded into news articles in yellow.

A House Democratic lawmaker said late last week that he'd heard Nancy Pelosi wouldn't seek another term as Speaker. Dems are losing the house so it doesn't matter

Rep. Mike McIntyre (D-N.C.) said that not only would he not back Pelosi (D-Calif.) for Speaker again, but also that he'd heard she would not seek another term in that position.  I said it doesn't matter, the minority doesn't get the position

"From what we're hearing, she's probably not going to run for Speaker again," McIntyre told WWAY-TV in North Carolina. "And if she does, I'm confident she's going to have opposition, and I look forward to supporting that opposition." ARE YOU PEOPLE @#@#!#$ RETARDED!?!

Read the rest at The Hill...if you must

Do you see what this is?!? Its as if the Democrats don't realize they're about to win the silver medal in a two man race.

Why is this a story? Are these flying monkey's trying to start a rumor that will encourage independents to give them another shot because they're finally going to reject that botox addled harpy they call a leader?

Its almost here people....We're going to pry that gavel from her cold, dead, hands...and then we're going to allow her to plant her ass in the cheap seats with her parting gift from the GOP (a flask filled with formaldehyde) so she can preserve herself long enough to end her career with what's left of the Democratic peons that were decimated by her tactics.

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