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The Tea Party Scares The You Know What Out of Liberals

I think I have an idea about where the left is coming from in its latest strain of character assassination the Tea Party has had to endure lately...


Tea Party scares the crap out of liberals


How about brains for brains?

I'm obviously kidding around with regards to this picture...it has never been proven that liberals have crap for brains....

I know its kind of gross, but I'll go there because cartoonish poo isn't nearly as disgusting as the media's double standard on the Tea Party movement against the Federal government's liberal agenda that seems to be slowly lurching into Leftist-land.

You'll never see an editorial accusing bandanna clad black shirted thugs smashing windows at economic summits and screaming platitudes about corporate greed, war for profit, and their GOP lapdogs (in their opinion) as being William Ayers's apprentices, but the media has no problem linking house-wives with signs demanding that government get a grip on spending to the likes of Timothy McVeigh.

Either the left is operating on the insidious motives of stoking the flames of fear and encouragement....

or

They're just flat out scared stupid by the fact the Tea Party's message is working.

For the record I think its both.

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Obama Gets the Conservative "Thank You" He Asks For

Recently, President Obama had a couple of events where he had a chance to speak read his teleprompter to a bunch of people apparently born yesterday.

Oh it was a hoot, he read that same joke he's been telling for a month now about how he isn't seeing the Armageddon outside his window that conservatives promised when health care deform passed.

Oh it's just so funny! I wonder if after the first day of diagnosis a terminal medical patient that was given months to live would be so glib.

HAHA yeah right doc, MY ASS, I'm gonna die, I feel great and you're just a big fat quack so give me that chemo in a shot glass....I'll....gulp....show you.....

See I still have my hair! Look outside do YOU see Armageddon?!?

Just call me Mr. Right Now 'cuz I only live in the mom-...ulp...barfing now...but it's not the chemo, I'm just drunk on arrogance.

Speaking around the same time as the tax day Tea Party rallies Obama had this to say about those rallies (the video I found has been juxtaposed with a comment rising GOP star Paul Ryan.



So Barack thinks we should be thanking him....people who opt to give out trail mix instead of candy on Halloween expect a thank you too.

It's a downpayment on my imminently higher health insurance premium

Even though I did indeed receive some BS $400 credit along with "95% of working families," (rich people don't work, apparently they just crap money like they're human ATM's). Now all I have to do now is figure out how that money going unspent on Uncle Barack is supposed to help me.

Is he still going to expect a thank you when his trillion dollar deficit exacerbating policies, not counting ObamaCare, will demand tax hikes for more than just the rich?

I've thought about this a bit and wondered if Obama even remotely has a point. Does he deserve thanks? After some thought I came up with a few reasons we can try to utter the word "thanks" a few times before we start to produce more vomit than a bulimia convention:


Thank you President Obama for making it cool to say, "I make teleprompters."


Thank you for bowing to world leaders in a show of humility and defying those who thought that position should be reserved for public restrooms and pornos.


Thank you for making political logos cool again, swastika ruined it for everyone for so long that they almost went the way of the 19th century corset wearing dodo bird working for the pony express.


Thank you for reminding us all that a generation after the end of the Cold War "socialism" is still a four letter word.


Also, thank you for letting Biden know "four letter word" is just an expression that can be used on any word as a euphamism for his favorite word...and he can stop trying to count the letters in socialism soshallizm because the math wont work out anyway.


Thank you for a tagline that is easy to rhyme and therefore easy to mock. It would've been a lot harder if you used "orange," which for you it would've made just as much sense as using "hope" and "change."


Finally, for a while with President Bush we all thought government spending couldn't possibly get worse if he had literally taken all of our money and just threw it into some volcano in Ice...land.....huh......Well anyway, thank you Mr. President for making trillion the new billion.


I'm sure there are more reasons to thank the president, but all this thinking about it is giving me a headache...so thanks a lot for that too President Obama.

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Poem: Who Holds What Truth To Be Self Evident?

When we deny Him
We self prevent
the truths that are
Self evident

Expounded by
the guys
who founded U.S.
that the endowment of such
comes only from

Our Creator

If our Lord is
precluded from
the Equation
which way then
does the wind blow
when "progressives"
Choose their hero
From the spiritual limbo
Of secularism's superior sanctimony

heckling
His
Decisions

Until He has to leave the stage because we can't hear a single word He is saying.

So who then will be the creator
that does
the Endowing
of unalienable rights
with divine gusto?

Oh no...

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Satire Headline Archive Update April 1-15

Here are the latest additions to the Headlines Archive



UNDER CRITICISM FOR BEING HOLLOW AND ERRATIC THE COFFEE PARTY CHANGES ITS NAME TO PING PONG PARTY - April 15

POLL FINDS 3% DON'T THINK TAX DOLLARS GET WASTED, CITING IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR MONEY TO USE DRUGS - April 15

NYT POLL FINDS 9 IN 10 TEA PARTIERS UNHAPPY WITH OBAMA, 1 IN 10 WANT THE TIMES TO STOP LYING ABOUT THEM - April 14

LATEST IDEA FROM BIDEN SHOT DOWN WHEN HE IS INFORMED BANNING THE LETTER "T" WONT STOP THE TEA PARTIES - April 14

ECONOMISTS TELL DEMOCRATS THAT CUTTING A PIECE OF PAPER IN HALF WITH "BUDGET DEFICIT" ON IT DOESN'T COUNT - April 13

CHARMIN LAUNCHES "CIVIC DOODY" CAMPAIGN DETAILING OBAMA'S ACCOMPLISHMENTS ON ITS TOILET PAPER - April 13

HILLARY CLINTON RUMORED TO BE ON SUPREME COURT SHORT LIST JUST ABOVE BELLY LINT AND BELOW PRESIDENT OBAMA - April 12

TEA PARTY DENIES CALLING PELOSI ANY NAMES BUT THANKS HER FOR SUGGESTING "GROSSIE PELOSI," - April 12

STUPAK DENIES ALLEGATIONS OF HYPOCRISY OVER HAVING HIS BID FOR REELECTION ABORTED - April 9

JIMMY CARTER HAILS OBAMA NUCLEAR POLICY AS IMPORTANT FOR AMERICA TO REALIZE HE'S NOT THE WORST PRESIDENT - April 8

OBAMA REJECTS IRAN CALLING HIM AN AMATEUR, ASKS "DO AMATEURS HAVE A COOL LOGO? - April 7

REID ADMITS HE SHOULD HAVE WRITTEN ON HIS HAND THAT HIS PALIN JOKE WAS "SO 2 MONTHS AGO" - April 6

AT BASEBALL GAME OBAMA REIGNITES BIRTHER FLAMES WHEN HE CALLS A HIT OUT OF THE PARK A "KENYA RUN" - April 6

REID ANNOUNCES HE CAN DEFINITELY FIT THE NAMES OF EVERY PERSON VOTING FOR HIM ON HIS HAND - April 6

OBAMA HIRES EARTHQUAKE CZAR TO EXPLAIN TO BIDEN THAT MEXICALI DIDN'T GET A 7.2 BECAUSE IT DID A GOOD JOB - April 5

NATIONALS REJECT OBAMA SUGGESTION HIS OPENING DAY PITCH BE A WADDED UP CONSTITUTION INTO A TRASH CAN - April 5

SADNESS HITS U.S. AS ANOTHER APRIL 1ST PASSES AND OBAMA STILL DOESN'T COME CLEAN ABOUT BIDEN'S VP STATUS - April 1

PELOSI PUSHES FOR RESOLUTION DECLARING APRIL 1ST TO BE "DEMOCRATS LOVE AMERICA DAY" - April 1

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Happy Tea Party Day!

If you told me a year ago that the tea party was going to be the movement that it is today I might not have believed it.I didn't think it was a passing phase or fad, but I just never expected it to sustain itself let alone actually organize.

Just when one would think the country is circling the drain of a White House toilet nick-named The Constitution, this truly American movement carrying the torch of truly American values explodes with nuclear fury over the nation and scares the poop out of liberals....or as I like to think of it, the Great Liberal Brain Drain.....

......I probably shouldn't be in charge of history books anytime this century.

Or maybe I should...for the last year liberals have dedicated so much of their media to painting the Tea Party as a bunch of dumb hicks who can't spell anything right on their signs (affectionately called teabonics).

UPDATE: It should be noted that there is very well founded speculation these signs are the product of liberal infiltrators instructed to make the party look like a bunch of buffoons by sites like crashtheteaparty.org.

THE COUNTRY CLUB REPUBLICANS ARE COMING?

Now the media is trying to paint them as a bunch of "well-educated" rich people.

If this brazen attempt to rewrite their script weren't so annoying I would be more concerned about such a weird admission coming from the political ideology that spends its time asserting it is the smartest person in the room. If these "dumb hick" teabonics speaking conservatives are better educated than the "general public" then where does that rank the intelligence of liberalism on a scale of 1 to teleprompter?

Either the Tea Party is stupid as or its smart. Whatever liberals want to label them one thing they definitely need to do is pick one and stick with it for once.

They did the same thing to George W. Bush, who was simultaneously the dumbest and most evil genius of a president we've ever had. They never know what they actually believe. They just know they hate conservatives and will SAY ANYTHING to get others to hate them too. Which begs the question if they actually know what they stand for in the first place.

Hope isn't a political policy?

It must really unnerve liberals that the Tea Party doesn't have any ambiguous one syllable tag line that can be made to say anything and nothing all at once. Their signs may be misspelled but at least they actually say something real.

ANOTHER UPDATE: Check out the Contract From America here to see what I mean.

Since liberals seem to understand symbols better how is this for a pretty picture?



Happy Tea Party Day!

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Is it O-bow-ma and China, Or Is It Love?

People have been abuzz about the photo of Obama bowing to Chinese President Hu Jintao. I don't actually on that level at all. It looked to me more like a nod of acknowledgment...

But what was he acknowledging?



For the record, I don't think (yet...yet) that Obama is a communist, and I know the hammer and sickle is a Soviet thing...but I thought it would make a fun little graphic...so the literalistic people out there...CHILL OUT.

:-)

I do, however, think with a fair degree of certainty he is a closet socialist

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A New Look At An Executive's Open Letter to Obama

Lou Pritchett is a retired executive for Proctor and Gamble. He wrote an open letter to Presdient Obama and submitted it to the New York Times and was summarily ignored. Proving why the newspapers are dying the letter was posted online and is believed to have received over 500,000 hits, to say nothing of its appearance on countless other websites.

The moral of the story is if you want news to get out there don't ask for it to go it in a newspaper.

The letter is authentic and Pritchett more than vouches for it.

As a convenience to you the reader I have provided a way you can look at the letter through "lenses" that best reflect your political point of view. To use the Democrat pair of glasses (coincidentally on the left) or the normal glasses (coincidentally on the right) all you have to do is click and the letter will present itself in it's proper context.

Dear President Obama:

You are the thirteenth President under whom I have lived and unlike any of the others, you truly scare me.

You scare me because after months of exposure, I know nothing about you.

You scare me because I do not know how you paid for your expensive Ivy League education and your upscale lifestyle and housing with no visible signs of support.

You scare me because you did not spend the formative years of youth growing up in America and culturally you are not an American.

You scare me because you have never run a company or met a payroll.

You scare me because you have never had military experience, thus don't understand it at its core.

You scare me because you lack humility and 'class', always blaming others.

You scare me because for over half your life you have aligned yourself with radical extremists who hate America and you refuse to publicly denounce these radicals who wish to see America fail..

You scare me because you are a cheerleader for the 'blame America' crowd and deliver this message abroad.

You scare me because you want to change America to a European style country where the government sector dominates instead of the private sector.

You scare me because you want to replace our health care system with a government controlled one.

You scare me because you prefer 'wind mills' to responsibly capitalizing on our own vast oil, coal and shale reserves.

You scare me because you want to kill the American capitalist goose that lays the golden egg which provides the highest standard of living in the world. 

You scare me because you have begun to use 'extortion' tactics against certain banks and corporations.

You scare me because your own political party shrinks from challenging you on your wild and irresponsible spending proposals.

You scare me because you will not openly listen to, or even consider opposing points of view from intelligent people.

You scare me because you falsely believe that you are both omnipotent and omniscient. You scare me because the media gives you a free pass on everything you do.

You scare me because you demonize and want to silence the Limbaugh's, Hannitys, O'Reillys and Becks who offer opposing, conservative points of view.

You scare me because you prefer controlling over governing.

Finally, you scare me because if you serve a second term I will probably not feel safe in writing a similar letter in 8 years.



Lou Pritchett.

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3 Words Liberals Hate: Spring Edition

Last January I came up with a series of posts inspired by the self explanatory hashtag on Twitter (follow my tweets here) #3WordsLiberalsHate.

The idea is to come up with the 3 word phrases that liberals would hate to hear or say. I wanted to put them in a way that they could exist on their own, but also in the context of a larger story. So here's a new set for a new season:


Must Support Israel

Beat Iran back

No bowing allowed

Peace through strength

Backwards nuclear policy

ObamaCare's health deform

No new taxes

17 minute responses

Teleprompter needs vacation

Change looks hopeless

Tea Parties mobilize

Dems lose Congress

Obama's only term

President Mitt Romney

President Newt Gingrich

President Sarah Palin

President Sean Hannity

President Ronald McDonald

President "Anyone Else"




Oh yeah...three more words they may not like to hear...

GUAM CAN'T CAPSIZE!




Here are links to the original series

Words Liberals Hate Part 1

Words Liberals Hate Part 2

Words Liberals Hate Part 3

Words Liberals Hate Part 4

Words Liberals Hate Part 5



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Obama Rules Poker

Its the official game of the Minor League Foreign Policy Circuit. The rules are really simple...only you have to hold the cards like so AT ALL TIMES



As you place your bets you must never see your opponents hand and more important than anything else YOU MUST NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU'RE ACTUALLY DOING YOURSELF

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So When Is Obama Willing To Use A Nuclear Option?

We know he has placed restrictions to the nuclear option to almost never. So who is actually eligible to be nuked if they ever have the temerity to smack the Virginia Slim out of Barack's mouth?

Iran
Al Qaeda
Castro
Hugo Chavez
Vladimir Putin
Kim Jong Il's hair-do

Soviet Union (maybe)

Oh! here's something...



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