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Satire Headline Archive Update December 4-11

Here are the latest additions to the Satire Headline Archive:


CIA ADMONISHES HOMELAND SECURITY THAT BECOMING A FAN OF GLENN BECK ON FACEBOOK IS NOT TERROR ESPIONAGE - December 11

WHILE DEMOCRATS DEBATE RAISING DEBT CEILING BIDEN INJURES ELBOW DOING RAISE THE ROOF DANCE - December 11

BIDEN'S PLAN TO ERASE ALL FEDERAL DEBT THWARTED WHEN HE REALIZES HE NEEDS $12 TRILLION, NOT ONE BIG ERASER - December 10

CLIMATE SUMMIT "ONE STEP CLOSER" TO ENDING CLIMATE CHANGE IN AN INSTANT WITH RESOLUTION TO BAN THERMOSTATS - December 10

NAPOLITANO SAYS TSA SCREENING PROCEDURES ON WEB NOT A SAFETY RISK AS MUCH AS HER UPCOMING SEX TAPE WILL BE - December 9

LEAVING CLIMATE SUMMIT ON AIR FORCE 1 TO GET PRE-AFGHAN SURGE PEACE PRIZE PRESIDENT CHANGES NAME TO OBAMAPPOSITE - December 9

GOP EXPLAINS DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ABORTION AND VIAGRA TO BARBARA BOXER: ONE ENDS LIFE, THE OTHER BRINGS IT BACK - December 8

OBAMA SAYS REP. JOHN CONYERS DEMEANED HIM BY DISAGREEING WITH HIM ON POLICY DURING HIS EVENING DIAPER CHANGE - December 8

SEN. REID CONFUSED BY GOP-SLAVERY OUTRAGE, SINCE "SLAVERY" IS SAID CONSTANTLY IN REID HOUSEHOLD WHEN HE IS HOME - December 7

WORLD LEADERS DEFEND 140 PRIVATE JETS USED IN CLIMATE SUMMIT AS BARE MINIMUM TO TRANSPORT THEMSELVES AND THEIR EGOS - December 7

SCIENTISTS SAY GLOBAL WARMING SLOW DOWN NOT PERMANENT, PREDICT WARMING TO RESUME SOME TIME AFTER END OF WINTER - December 4

AFTER TOUTING 10% JOBLESS RATE AS "BEST REPORT SINCE 2007" DEMAND FOR OBAMA SKYROCKETS FOR NATIONS COMEDY CLUBS - December 4