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The RINOs Are Poppin'

For the first time in America we're hunting RINO's :-)

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A Cathartic Exercise for O'Donnell Supporters

If you're an O'Donnell supporter, and you're not cool with Mike Castle's refusal to support O'Donnell as the nominee here's a little cathartic exercise for you

Hold your tongue and say "Mike Castle"

Repeat daily until he sees the light

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Speaking of Book Burning...

Speaking of book burning

He even threw in a cigarette! This is reason number infinity+1 why I love the work of Michael Ramirez...Check out more of his work here.

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The Latest Conservative Party Game Craze...

Pin the tea bag on the RINO

Congrats to Christine O'Donnell, I know the pundits have written her off, but I haven't forgotten that once upon a time...THIS YEAR...a sacrificial lamb from Massachusetts we call SENATOR Scott Brown, someone even I ignored until it was too late, was down 30 points in the polls.

Even if she loses badly would the GOP have really been better off with a Lincoln Chafee by a different name? I'm not asking for uber-conservative, I'm not even asking for very conservative, but somewhat-conservative would be nice. Her opponent Mike Castle gets a failing grade from Club For Growth, NRA, and the American Conservative Union!

I know things don't look good for her compared to how Mike Castle would've fared, but the last couple of years have been FILLED WITH THE IMPROBABLE...Barack Obama should be Hillary Clinton's vice president right now, so as far as I'm concerned the GOP establishment can take their O'Donnell doom and gloom and shove it you know where.

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Ann Coulter's Pompous Douchebag Trap

I love Ann...

...her book Slander was what pushed me over the edge to really start getting my head in the game and speaking out. She has been the major influence on my own work.

"Pompous Douchebag Trap" is the best, but to me its also like a liberal laugh track...or Democrat approval bomb....or Muslim dunce cap....

More than anything its really becoming a quintessential All-American intelligence test.

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Dems Want To...Leave It to Bieber?

Remember when Dick Cheney dropped the f-bomb in a private conversation with Pat Leahy and that cuuuuuuute little girl from Kids for Kerry who looked like little orphan Annie and told us

Big f**king deal whats the point?
and then proceeded to urge us to vote for the guy who dropped a national headline making f-bomb in an interview with Rolling Stone.

I don't know how making a kid a spokesperson for grown-up matters is supposed to be persuasive, but I guess with "progressives," or liberals, or whatever nice-sounding adjective they're trying to ruin the meaning of, it makes sense to include children in the political process since the only maturing they actually go through is strictly physical anyway.

Now the Center for American Progress's college wing "Campus Progress" is trying to capitalize on Justin Bieber to encourage Democrats to vote. Who is Justin Bieber? He's a 16 year old who lipsynchs on stage to sound engineered music and it makes 12 year old girls want to do things to him we adults only read about in "Diary of a 21st Century Public School Student."

Internet-savvy types know that teen heartthrob Justin Bieber pretty much rules the Web. Just last week, rumors spread that Bieber’s fan base was so active on Twitter that the microblogging website has servers dedicated just to him. Twitter didn’t confirm that, but it didn’t deny it, either.

The takeaway? If you're trying to get a message to go viral, your success rate will surely be higher if you can somehow tie in the Biebs.

So that’s just what Campus Progress, the college spinoff of the Center for American Progress, decided to do to get people to vote in the midterms.

"We're trying to leverage Bieber fever," Campus Progress's Sara Haile-Mariam told POLITICO. "Most of his fans are 12 years old — we acknowledge that." Still, they hope that Bieber fans will “tell their parents.... The hope is to create something that goes viral and gets young people to be aware of the election."

See the rest at Politico

Oh yeah, kids are telling their parents how to vote...

Mom, dad put down that newspaper and listin...k? Serisly you guys, like, this story is, like, fuh reals....k? You have to VOTE, fer Justen, cuz he said...k?.....cuz Becky told Molly, who told Tammy's brother's friend Marc who made out with Stacia and then told me all about et that you have to vote Dumicrap, or whatever, so Publikens can't ban text messaging and lip gloss....eww....

Companies market to children counting on the nag factor being applied to their parents on things such as toys and happy meals, but now these Proglodytes (shout out to iOwnTheWorld for that one) think this time its going to work on taxes and national security?

The perfect Democrat!

They don't even have a grip on times tables, or economics, or history, or civics, or anything that concerns the adult world...because they're not friggin' adults!

Its no wonder liberal politicians make arguments as if they're talking to children, their acolytes think elections are like the MTV Video Music Awards.

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Top 10 Ways Hillary Clinton Keeps Herself Busy

Remember Hillary Clinton? Who would've thought Secretary of State, the highest post in the cabinet, would've been such an effective black hole for the would be president. That's led me to wonder what it is she could be doing to bide her time until 2012.....

10. Amateur fashion design, somebody has to bring sexy back to cankles.

9. Escapes the pain of losing to Obama with a bubble bath, scented candles, a box of chocolates, a glass of wine, and her Monica Lewinsky scrapbook.

8. Lobbies speculators in the oil and gold markets to start pushing pants suits.

7. Demands continued recounts in her endangered run for HOA president.

6. Still trying to find a takers on eBay for the tiara she would've worn as president.

5. Keeps her laugh in tune by mixing cats and blenders.

4. Plays word games out of phrases….i.e. how many profane words can be spelled from the letters in “Barack Obama” (her favorite).

3. Fires aides who try to tell her that "Barack Obama" can't actually spell "f**king a**hole."

2. Tries to find out why Bill's Facebook constantly "likes" what comes out of Monica's Twitter.

1. Still trying to figure out how she can make her profile not match up with Bill's on e-Harmony.

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Channeling Classic Clint Eastwood into Harry Reid

Turdy Harry

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It's 9 Years Later and All I Got Was This Lousy Blog Post

Since I was a little boy all I wanted to do with my life was draw comic books. I loved superhero comics for as long as I could remember, and I don't know where it came from, but I always had the urge to draw them. I enjoyed that it much I was sold being a comic book artist, and I tried to make good on that...

On September 11, 2001 I was a 20 year old art major in college. I didn't have any care in the world whatsoever. I knew we were the greatest country in the world but I didn't know or necessarily cared about the "how" or "why." I had political debates with friends who literally believed our country was untouchable because of our geography relative to any belligerent nation....we were so, so stupid. We were taking it ALL for granted.

I live on the west coast, so I was still asleep when the attacks happened. I woke up to a friend leaving a message on my answering machine around 6 A.M. my time that the World Trade Center was "bombed." I literally thought I was dreaming, and went right back to sleep.

An hour or so later I woke up, remembering the message I heard. I looked at the answering machine and saw that the message light was blinking. I didn't play the message because my roommate was still asleep. I went to the living room in the fraternity house I was living in and found three other guys standing around it, with worried looks on their faces. I got scared, because I started to realize it wasn't a dream. I stood there and watched the footage, until that moment I only knew such scenes from the movies.

There is no way I can understate world crashed down with the towers that day. For the first time I understood that even when we are at our strongest the freedom we take for granted is SO fragile, and there was a feeling of shame that it took thousands of innocent people dying to finally figure it out.

I haven't been the same since, 9-11 was one of two events in my life that steered me into being a part of the fight to preserve our nation's freedoms today. I cared about world events before that day, but only in the context of arguing for the sport of it.

Don't get me wrong, arguing with liberals can be fun, but a 9 year (and counting) journey began that day, a focus was developing in me. I started becoming too aware that the real world had to trump the world of comics and superheroes I loved so much since I was a child.

To make a long story a bit shorter I put all of those things away a couple of years later, I still love them, but I care about more important things now. The Looking Spoon is a culmination of a long overdue education mixed with a myriad of experiences (from political activism, to trying my hand at stand-up comedy, to learning web development, and everything in-between).

I truly want to make this website more than just a personal outlet for the wise cracks, bad jokes, and silly images swirling in my head. I don't know if it's true, but I at least feel like I'm doing something to contribute to the fight for what is right for the country, and more importantly the culture.

Ground Zero is more than a destination in New York City. For me, and I'm sure for millions, it has been a state of mind.

I know this is just a blog, but like all other Americans I have so much on my plate, and with the talents and abilities God gave me this is the best I have to offer at the moment. I hope someday it can be even more, because I have not forgotten the pain of September 11, and memories of the victims of that day will always have a friend in me. They will never cease to be worth fighting for.

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Alternatives to Burning the Koran

As of this writing I don't know who is burning Korans and who isn't (or depending on when you read this, "did or didn't"), but this is an open letter to any holy person who thinks this is a good idea.

Dear Inglorious Pastards,

Look at the mess you're creating. People yell at you not to do stupid stuff and you decide that you want to do it anyway. Hey! You should be a politician. Even better, since Obama is "obviously Christian" it seems you'd fit right in with his harem of spiritual advisors.

Look, I'm not concerned with people's fears of making Muslims angry. Turkey sandwiches shaped like Mohammed make them want to chop off more heads than the Highlander racing a guillotine. I'm just not convinced that you're "hearing" the answer to your prayers on this matter. Do you really think the consequences of burning Korans would be something Jesus would embrace?

At this point it's really just all about you isn't it? This is your 15 minutes and you're going to eat it up. You're starting to make the diaper lady from NASA look like a classy babe. So knock it off, seriously. You're a one-man band, and its only because nobody wants to jam with you.

Put the matches down! If you really want to demonstrate your frustration with Islam I have a few modest proposals that I strongly suggest you consider in place of your bonfire:

  1. Put the Koran on a Microsoft Word document....copy the file 1,000 of times, or until your computer starts asking for a burka (whichever comes first).....and then....DELETE THEM!

  2. If having a fire is what really gets you going then you can alternatively throw the computer into a fire

  3. A more expensive option would be to download and delete the Koran a bunch of times with the aptly named Kindle

  4. Thinking outside the box a can douse them in hot sauce (its more satisfying if there's pictures of flames on the bottle).

  5. Or you can give them to really flamboyantly gay men

If you're no longer interested in "burning" here are a few other ideas...

  1. Go through the Koran and "dog-ear" your favorite pages (they HATE dogs).

  2. Open your Koran up to the middle, put in a hot dog, close it up and call the book a bun. (don't try eating it unless your desperately low on fiber)

  3. Go to a book store and switch sections containing all the books on Islam with something that would be offensive to them, like, LGBT...................or pretty much any other section.

  4. Use a peeled of label of a beer bottle as a bookmark

  5. If its a girl Koran rip off the cover

  6. If its a girl Koran and brand new you can arrange for it to be married to some dirty old man with a fetish for young books

  7. Finally, instead of deleting the Koran Word docs on your computer you can "find and replace" every instance of "Mohammed" with "da Bomb"

So there you have it, burning is too symbolic of permanent destruction, its just wrong. You have to find other ways to do the wrong thing the right way. Of course, you can't succeed in not offending radical Islam, but at least you run the chance of being less offensive to the rest of us.


How does this letter solve anything? The answer to that is doesn't. It can't, but it does help exhaust my overactive imagination!

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