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Satire Headlines Archive Update February 10 - 28

Here's the latest headlines to enter the vaunted Satire Headlines Archive.


OBAMA SAYS HE MISUNDERSTOOD THAT VOTERS IN 2008 WANTED A "DO OVER", THOUGHT THEY WANTED A "SCREW OVER" - February 26

GOV PATTERSON, MAD AT HEADLINE HE WONT "SEE" REELECTION, IS CORRECTED WHEN AIDE FINDS IT ACTUALLY SAYS "SEEK" - February 26

REID TELLS OBAMA ULTIMATUM TO PASS HEALTH BILL WITHOUT GOP WOULD SOUND "BAD ASS" IF HE USED "THE DIALECT" - February 26

ANONYMOUS OBAMA OFFICIAL TELLS MEDIA HEATH CARE SUMMIT "SUCKED," REQUESTS CODE NAME "JOEY B THE VP" - February 25

BIDEN SAYS HIS GOP TRAP DOOR AT HEALTHCARE SUMMIT OPENED, BUT DIDN'T WORK BECAUSE THEY NEVER LOOKED DOWN - February 25

OBAMA REJECTS THE WAY GOP CLAIMS HIS POLICIES ARE "SOCIALISM", SAYS THEY ARE ACTUALLY "SOCIALIST" - February 25

REID SAYS HIS LOSING THE ELECTION WONT LEAD TO SPOUSAL ABUSE BECAUSE HIS WIFE WILL SHOW HIM MERCY - February 24

BARNEY FRANK DENIES BAD HEARING AFTER GETTING "SUPER EXCITED" TO HEAR THAT GLOBAL WARMING IS A SNOW JOB - February 23

REACTING TO CHENEY'S HEART ATTACK ELIZABETH EDWARDS SAYS ITS IMPOSSIBLE FOR HUSBAND TO HAVE THAT PROBLEM - February 23

DOCTORS FINALLY CONFIRM THE TINGLE RUNNING DOWN CHRIS MATTHEWS'S HIS LEG IS THE LAST OF MSNBC'S RATINGS - February 22

OBAMA'S TELEPROMPTER SAYS IT WAS NOT BRIEFED ON HIS NEW HEALTHCARE PLAN, WOULD NEVER HAVE APPROVED IT - February 22

OBAMA SAYS THAT BECAUSE RUSSIAN ROULETTE HAS LOST ITS EDGE HE WILL CONTINUE TO FIGHT FOR OBAMACARE - February 19

LIBERAL MEDIA MISINTERPRETS TIGER WOODS'S BLAME OF MARITAL INFIDELITY ON BUSH - February 19

DESPITE THE FEDERAL RESERVE RAISING ITS INTEREST RATE BIDEN SAYS IT REMAINS UNINTERESTING TO HIM - February 18

U.N. FINDS NUKES WITH "PROPERTY OF IRAN" STICKERS ON THEM, STARTS TO SUSPECT IRAN MIGHT BE MAKING NUKES - February 18

OBAMA'S COMPLAINT "I CAN'T JUST PULL MONEY OUT OF MY ASS" IS PROVEN WRONG BY BARNEY FRANK - February 17

HILLARY CLINTON ISSUES WARNING TO IRAN TO QUIT NUCLEAR PROGRAM OR FACE MORE SUPER-SERIOUS WARNINGS - February 16

CANADIANS THANK BIDEN FOR KIND WORDS ABOUT THEM AT OLYMPICS, ASK HIM TO NOT CALL THEIR COUNTRY "CANADIA" - February 16

CANADA SAYS "FAILED" OLYMPIC TORCH LIGHTING WAS INTENTIONAL METAPHOR FOR OBAMA'S ADMINISTRATION - February 16

GORE TO RESUME GLOBAL WARMING TALK WHEN WORLD SNOWFALL MELTS OR SUMMER 2011, WHICHEVER COMES FIRST - February 12

OBAMA TELLS BIDEN ONLY JOKES WITH "URANUS" ARE FUNNY AND TO STOP LAUGHING WHEN IRAN SAYS "URANIUM" - February 11