POLL: MOST AMERICANS WOULD VOTE TO REPLACE ENTIRE CONGRESS WITH ANYTHING LESS HARMFUL TO COUNTRY, EBOLA MONKEYS - August 31

OBAMA SWEARS BILL THAT GIVES HIM CONTROL OF INTERNET IS N T FOR SI  ENCING CON      VATIVE OPPOS         .... - August 28

POLL: KENNEDY FAMILY LEGACY OF CAMELOT IS BEST METAPHOR FOR LIBERAL THOUGHT, BOTH LIVE IN LAND OF MAKE-BELIEVE - August 27

VP BIDEN MOURNS THE DEATH OF TED KENNEDY, GIVES THANKS HE WILL NEVER HAVE BRAIN CANCER “FOR OBLIVIOUS REASONS” - August 27

STRONGEST DEMOGRAPHIC FOR OBAMA SHOWS 100% APPROVAL AMONG PEOPLE WHO HAVE NEVER HEARD OF HIM - August 20

UN ADVOCATES TEACHING MASTURBATION TO KIDS SO GOVTS ARE FREE TO DO OTHER THINGS WHILE THE PEOPLE SCREW THEMSELVES - August 26

OBAMA CANDIDLY REVEALS GOAL TO MAKE BUDGET DEFICIT SO BIG IT CAN'T FIT ON TWITTER - August 25

OBAMA PROMISES VACATION WITH FAMILY WILL BE AS RELAXED AS HIS NATIONAL SECURITY POLICIES - August 24

NEW OBAMA INTERROGATION UNIT TO BE FRIENDLIER THAN CIA COUNTERPART, WILL USE NON HYPOALLERGENIC TICKLE FEATHERS - August 24

OBAMA: "GOP CONSPIRACY AGAINST HEALTH BILL IS MORE INSIDIOUS THAN THE ONE THAT GOT ME ELECTED" - August 21

STRONGEST DEMOGRAPHIC FOR OBAMA SHOWS 100% APPROVAL AMONG PEOPLE WHO HAVE NEVER HEARD OF HIM - August 20

NEW POLL FINDS DEATH PANELS NOW MORE POPULAR THAN CONGRESS - August 19

OBAMA COMPILES LIST TO FIND BETTER EXAMPLES OF GOVT. EFFICIENCY THAN USPS, ONLY ENTRY SO FAR IS TRAIL OF TEARS - August 19

GOVT. RUN HEALTH CARE DEBATE SHEDS LIGHT ON REVELATION THAT UNCLE SAM IS THE TRUE FATHER OF OCTOMOM’S KIDS - August 18

OBAMA’S RETREAT FROM PUBLIC HEALTH OPTION IGNITES SPECULATION OF HIS INTENT TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT OF FRANCE - August 17

OBAMA PR CZAR AND ATHEIST LOBBY TEAM UP ON HEALTH CARE BILL TO RENAME DEATH PANELS AS "BRIDGES TO NOWHERE" - August 17

BIDEN BATTLES CLAIMS OBAMA WANTS UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE-PLEDGES COVERAGE WILL BE LIMITED TO ONLY EARTHLINGS - August 14

SEN. REID DIES FROM LAUGHTER WHEN UNINFORMED VOTER THINKS HIS TERM "EVIL-MONGERS" WAS REFERRING TO TERRORISM - August 14

SEN. STABENOW (D-MI) CLARIFIES SHE DOESN'T FEEL GLOBAL WARMING WHEN SHE FLIES, SHE FEELS IT WHEN SHE IS HIGH - August 13

LEVI JOHNSTON CRITICAL OF MILEY CYRUS POLE DANCE-BELIEVES TEEN GIRLS SHOULD ONLY TOUCH POLES THAT PRODUCE BABIES - August 12

RESPONDING TO USE OF NAZI SYMBOLISM AGAINST THEM DNC FILES LAWSUIT AGAINST GOP FOR PROPAGANDA INFRINGEMENT - August 12

TOUTING HER ACUTE AWARENESS OF ARTIFICIALITY BOTOX EXECS DEFEND PELOSI CALLING HEATH CARE PROTESTS ASTROTURF - August 11

WHITE HOUSE IS FLOODED WITH "FISHY" This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it EMAILS CONTAINING THE LANGUAGE OF THE HEALTHCARE BILL - August 10

SUCCESS OF "CASH FOR CLUNKERS" PROGRAM INSPIRES DNC TO ADOPT IT AS OFFICIAL THEME FOR 2010 ELECTION - August 7

AFTER VOTING TO CONFIRM SOTOMAYOR SEN. FRANKEN IS CENSURED FOR ENDORSING SPEEDY GONZALEZ FOR GOV. OF CA - August 6

SENATE DEMS DISCOVER FACTORIES MANUFACTURING GOP OUTRAGE OVER HEALTH CARE IN OVAL OFFICE, THEIR OWN MOUTHS - August 5

OBAMA'S BDAY CELEBRATED AS BUSINESS OF THE DAY IS DESIGNATED WITH A MORE FESTIVE "CASINO NIGHT" THEME - August 4

KIM JONG IL RELEASES PRISONERS IN EXCHANGE FOR A CAN OF BRYLCREEM, LENSCRAFTERS RX, AND A VIAL OF OBAMA HOPE - August 4

KIM JONG IL RELEASES PRISONERS IN EXCHANGE FOR A CAN OF BRYLCREEM, LENSCRAFTERS RX, AND A VIAL OF OBAMA HOPE - August 4

SEN. REID DECLARES MOST PRODUCTIVE CONGRESS SINCE FDR UPON EMERGING FROM BATHROOM WITH SOILED CONSTITUTION - August 3

POLL FINDS AMERICANS MISTAKENLY THINK CASH FOR CLUNKERS PROGRAM REFERS TO SALARIES FOR CONGRESS - August 3