ATTORNEY FOR UNDERWEAR BOMBER'S ADVISES AGAINST "NOT BOMB JUST HAPPY TO SEE ALLAH'S VIRGINS" DEFENSE - December 31

NEW POLL FINDS OBAMA LESS POPULAR THAN MICHELLE, HILLARY, WATERBOARDING, HELL - December 30

OBAMA DEFLECTS QUESTION ABOUT CALLING MUSLIM TERRORISTS "VIOLENT EXTREMISTS" BY WISHING AMERICA A NEW YEAR - December 30

ECONOMISTS TELL BIDEN URANIUM THAT IS "ENRICHED" DOESN'T MEAN IT HAS LOTS OF MONEY THAT CAN BE TAXED - December 29

OBAMA PROPOSES TESTICLE KICKING CONTEST TO SETTLE WAR ON TERROR, OFFERS TO LET AL QAEDA GO FIRST - December 28

IRAN TELLS OBAMA HIS SPEECHES INSPIRE THEM TO STOP VIOLENCE, NUKES, AND "HAHA JUST KIDDING YOU'RE WEAK" - December 28

OBAMA ORDERS REVIEW OF FLIGHT SCREENING PROCEDURES TO SEE HOW THEY CAN IMPROVE HIS CZAR VETTING PROCESS - December 28

OBAMA LAUNCHES CHRISTMAS INVESTIGATION WHEN GIFT FROM SECRET SANTA IS WRAPPED WITH US BIRTH CERTIFICATES - December 23

DEMS OFFER TO KILL HEALTH BILL REJECTED BY GOP, COULD FIND NO TAKERS TO JUDGE PELOSI-REID BIKINI CONTEST - December 23

IN PREPARATION OF HEALTH CARE VOTE COSTUME COMPANY AFFIRMS NO "MIX UP" IN SENDING SEN. REID MRS. CLAUSE SUIT - December 22

SEN. SCHUMER SAYS HE NEVER MEANT TO CALL FLIGHT ATTENDANT "BITCH", CLAIMS WITHOUT GLASSES SHE LOOKED LIKE A MIRROR - December 21

AS BLIZZARD HITS WASHINGTON DC THE PRESIDENT IS NOT AMUSED BY NEW NICKNAME AT CLIMATE SUMMIT, "SNOWBAMA" - December 18

OBAMA ORDERS TAILOR FOR WHITE HOUSE DOG TO MAKE SPECIAL CLIMATE SUMMIT SWEATER FOR SHIVERING TELEPROMPTER - December 18

OBAMA ADMITS MISTAKE IN GIVING ADMINISTRATION "SOLID B+," THOUGHT HE WAS GIVING BARNEY FRANKS SCORE ON GAYDATE.COM - December 17

OBAMA ADMITS MISTAKE IN GIVING ADMINISTRATION "SOLID B+," THOUGHT HE WAS RATING HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE GUY - December 17

OBAMA ADMITS MISTAKE IN GIVING ADMINISTRATION "SOLID B+," THOUGHT HE WAS GUESSING HELEN THOMAS'S CUP SIZE - December 17

OBAMA ADMITS MISTAKE IN GIVING ADMINISTRATION "SOLID B+," THOUGHT HE WAS GUESSING U.S. CREDIT RATING - December 17

OBAMA ADMITS MISTAKE IN GIVING ADMINISTRATION "SOLID B+," THOUGHT HE WAS GRADING CHINA'S HUMAN RIGHTS RECORD - December 17

WORLD'S DICTATORS DEMAND OBAMA'S LETTER TO KIM JONG IL BE POSTED ON FACEBOOK SO THEY CAN "LIKE" IT - December 16

DEMS NOW CLAIM HEALTH BILL IS BUDGET NEUTRAL AS IT WILL COST NOTHING SINCE THE DOLLAR WILL BE WORTH NOTHING - December 16

OBAMA OPINES RETROFITTED ENERGY EFFICIENT HOMES NOT AS SEXY AS CLIMATE SUMMIT SPONSORED PRIVATE JETS SHOWS - December 15

OBAMA SAYS MAKING HOMES ENERGY EFFICIENT IS SEXY IN A ROSIE O'DONNELL WEARING LINGERIE SORT OF WAY - December 15

OBAMA SPLIT ON IF HE SHOULD RECOGNIZE KWANZAA, ASKS CABINET FOR VOTE TO HELP BREAK TIE WITH HIMSELF - December 14

DEMS CONFUSED ABOUT WHETHER SENATOR REID IS STRUGGLING TO FIND FOR 60 VOTES FOR HEALTH BILL OR REELECTION - December 14

CIA ADMONISHES HOMELAND SECURITY THAT BECOMING A FAN OF GLENN BECK ON FACEBOOK IS NOT TERROR ESPIONAGE - December 11

WHILE DEMOCRATS DEBATE RAISING DEBT CEILING BIDEN INJURES ELBOW DOING RAISE THE ROOF DANCE - December 11

BIDEN'S PLAN TO ERASE ALL FEDERAL DEBT THWARTED WHEN HE REALIZES HE NEEDS $12 TRILLION, NOT ONE BIG ERASER - December 10

CLIMATE SUMMIT "ONE STEP CLOSER" TO ENDING CLIMATE CHANGE IN AN INSTANT WITH RESOLUTION TO BAN THERMOSTATS - December 10

NAPOLITANO SAYS TSA SCREENING PROCEDURES ON WEB NOT A SAFETY RISK AS MUCH AS HER UPCOMING SEX TAPE WILL BE - December 9

LEAVING CLIMATE SUMMIT ON AIR FORCE 1 TO GET PRE-AFGHAN SURGE PEACE PRIZE PRESIDENT CHANGES NAME TO OBAMAPPOSITE - December 9

GOP EXPLAINS DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ABORTION AND VIAGRA TO BARBARA BOXER: ONE ENDS LIFE, THE OTHER BRINGS IT BACK - December 8

OBAMA SAYS REP. JOHN CONYERS DEMEANED HIM BY DISAGREEING WITH HIM ON POLICY DURING HIS EVENING DIAPER CHANGE - December 8

SEN. REID CONFUSED BY GOP-SLAVERY OUTRAGE, SINCE "SLAVERY" IS SAID CONSTANTLY IN REID HOUSEHOLD WHEN HE IS HOME - December 7

WORLD LEADERS DEFEND 140 PRIVATE JETS USED IN CLIMATE SUMMIT AS BARE MINIMUM TO TRANSPORT THEMSELVES AND THEIR EGOS - December 7

SCIENTISTS SAY GLOBAL WARMING SLOW DOWN NOT PERMANENT, PREDICT WARMING TO RESUME SOME TIME AFTER END OF WINTER - December 4

AFTER TOUTING 10% JOBLESS RATE AS "BEST REPORT SINCE 2007" DEMAND FOR OBAMA SKYROCKETS FOR NATIONS COMEDY CLUBS - December 4

MAN LEAVES WHITE HOUSE JOB SUMMIT IN STRAIGHT JACKET, SAYS ONE WAY TO BRING JOBS BACK IS TO TAKE AWAY OBAMA'S - December 3

GOP SUPPORTS FREE MAMMOGRAMS IN HEALTH BILL TO ENCOURGE DEMS TO GET THEMSELVES EXAMINED MORE OFTEN - December 3

DOLLAR SHOWS FURTHER SIGNS OF WEAKENING WHEN OBAMA'S GIRLS ASK THEIR ALLOWANCE BE PAID IN MONOPOLY MONEY - December 2

UPON REALIZING HE ACTUALLY WANTED TO SEND ONLY 3000 TROOPS TO AFGHANISTAN OBAMA FIRES TELEPROMPTER - December 2

OBAMA GIVES IN, DEPLOYS 40000 TROOPS FOR WAR ON TERROR, 30000 TO AFGHANISTAN, 10000 TO TALK RADIO STATIONS - December 1

CHRIS MATTHEWS WARNED FOR OBAMA'S AFGHAN TROOP SPEECH TO NOT SCREAM AND THROW PANTIES AT THE MSNBC SCREEN - December 1