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17 ways to REALLY celebrate Michelle Obama's birthday.

UPDATE: The post was originally 16 ways, but a last one was added to the very end. So now it's 17.

It's Michelle Obama's 50th birthday on Saturday, and ABC News has redefined investigative journalism by looking into 50 ways you can celebrate it.

I barely want to celebrate my own birthday much less that of a public figure who I've developed a real disdain that goes beyond politics by now (I take the lavish taxpayer funded lifestyle the Obamas enjoy very personally).

Instead of 50 B.S. ways to live vicariously through the MSM-styled queen of America how about 16 17 more realistic ways to celebrate her birthday. (h/t iOwnTheWorld and The People's Cube for some of the graphics.)

1. Wake up from a grueling birthday week bed-in...