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Liberal "Proverbs"

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I started thinking I could make this work with liberalism...

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Obama always scores low on the links, especially the links between terror and radical Islam.

Bill Clinton isn't a better womanizer than a man who chooses to be liberal.

Harry Reid used to be a boxer, Barbara begged him not to take his wife's name.

Socialism could work if its beneficiaries would.

The effects of global warming are catostrophic for the ecosystems of the ice age.

Ring around the Rosie looks fun, until you realize O'Donnell is stuck in the hula hoop.

Biden didn't plagiarized, he bought another person's words with his presidential electability.

A "teachable moment" always fails because the person declaring it is the one in need of the lesson.

Atheists don't believe in God, and they do so faithfully.

If Biden's mouth moves faster than his brain, then a glacier would place second in a three-way race.

The bad economy forces people to take staycations from work, and President Obama needs a staycation for work.

Political mandates represent a conflict of interest for Barney Frank.

Global warming is caused by hot air, Al Gore is full of hot air, therefore Al Gore causes global warming.

Community organizing grants leadership experience necessary to help children cope with too many Legos.

Toiletries are accessories for bathrooms, not bathrooms for hippies.

Life begins at conception, liberalism begins at deception, Obama's crisis response begins at cocktail reception.

Jokes about Pelosi's botox are getting to be a bit older than she looks.

Sometimes the brightest ideas come when times are darkest. Alas, Obama is a half-white dimwit.

If life isn't fair, how is socialism?