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Satire Headlines Archive Update January 1-13

Here is the first installment of the 2010 Satire Headlines Archive

OLIVER STONE SAYS DECISION TO PUT HITLER "IN CONTEXT" WAS "BASICALLY HEADS IS HITLER TAILS IS SATAN" - January 13

OBAMA SAYS WHITE HOUSE BLOG SAYING HE HAS MADE AMERICA STRONGER IS MEANT TO BE VIEWED WITH A MIRROR - January 12

WHITE HOUSE SAYS REID'S RACIST REMARKS NOT COMPARABLE TO TRENT LOTT BECAUSE LOTT IS STILL ELECTABLE - January 12

REID SUFFERS ANEURYSM AFTER REPORTER ASKS HIM TO CHOOSE BETWEEN THE COSBY SHOW AND GOOD TIMES - January 11

ATTORNEY FOR UNDERWEAR BOMBER'S ADVISES AGAINST "NOT BOMB JUST HAPPY TO SEE ALLAH'S VIRGINS" DEFENSE - January 11

BLACK CAUCUS ACCEPTS SEN. REID'S APOLOGY, COULD'VE GONE WITHOUT KNOWING ABOUT CRUSH ON QUEEN LATIFAH - January 11

DISASTER AVERTED ON BIDEN TRIP TO VEGAS TO GAMBLE AWAY NATIONAL DEBT, BET ON RED AND BLACK AT SAME TIME - January 8

UPON HEARING "NUDE" SCANNERS CAN MEASURE PENISES BILL CLINTON MAKES TIN FOIL HATS TO WEAR AT AIRPORTS - January 8

OBAMA WARNS SECURITY AGENCIES TO GET IT TOGETHER OR FACE THE WRATH OF A U.N. RESOLUTION - January 7

NEW OBAMA TRANNY CZAR ADMITS KEEPING "MANHOOD" IN JAR TO AVOID "OPPRESSION" WHILE VISITING MID-EAST - January 7

DEMS SAY CSPAN'S CALL FOR CAMERAS AT HEALTH BILL TALKS VIOLATES ANTI-SEX-TAPE-WITH-TAXPAYERS POLICY - January 6

AFTER OBAMA SAYS BOMB ATTEMPT IS "INTELLIGENCE SCREW UP" BIDEN CRIES OUT "WHATS THIS GOTTA DO WITH ME?" - January 6

WHEN ASKED IF COLD SNAP BOTHERS PEOPLE IN DC BIDEN ADMITS "NO WE'RE LIKE REPTILES" NOT THE BEST ANSWER - January 5

CELEBRATION OF OBAMA'S APPOINTMENT OF FIRST EVER "TRANNY" SPARKS OUTRAGE FROM GOP AND JANET RENO - January 5

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS BANNED AT WHITE HOUSE AFTER BIDEN SAYS HIS IS TO BE MORE "OPEN HONEST AND DIRECT" - January 4

DHS CONTINUES TO OPPOSE TERROR PROFILING OF MUSLIM MEN THAT DON'T BELONG TO RIGHT-WING GROUPS - January 4