Here are the latest entries to the satire headlines archive
MAN LEAVES WHITE HOUSE JOB SUMMIT IN STRAIGHT JACKET, SAYS ONE WAY TO BRING JOBS BACK IS TO TAKE AWAY OBAMA'S - December 3
GOP SUPPORTS FREE MAMMOGRAMS IN HEALTH BILL TO ENCOURGE DEMS TO GET THEMSELVES EXAMINED MORE OFTEN - December 3
DOLLAR SHOWS FURTHER SIGNS OF WEAKENING WHEN OBAMA'S GIRLS ASK THEIR ALLOWANCE BE PAID IN MONOPOLY MONEY - December 2
UPON REALIZING HE ACTUALLY WANTED TO SEND ONLY 3000 TROOPS TO AFGHANISTAN OBAMA FIRES TELEPROMPTER - December 2
OBAMA GIVES IN, DEPLOYS 40000 TROOPS FOR WAR ON TERROR, 30000 TO AFGHANISTAN, 10000 TO TALK RADIO STATIONS - December 1
CHRIS MATTHEWS WARNED FOR OBAMA'S AFGHAN TROOP SPEECH TO NOT SCREAM AND THROW PANTIES AT THE MSNBC SCREEN - December 1
BIDEN TO GIVE TUESDAY'S SPEECH ON AFGHANISTAN AS SAYING DUMB THINGS IS A JOB RESERVED FOR HIM - November 30
WHILE BRAINSTORMING A MESSAGE ON HOW DEMS "FINISH THE JOB" HILLARY CLINTON BLURTS OUT "MONICA LEWINSKY" - November 30
GLOBAL WARMING SCIENTISTS IN EMAIL SCANDAL WILL FORGO THANKSGIVING TURKEY THIS YEAR-HAVING GOOSE COOKED INSTEAD - November 24
OBAMA CANCELS PARDON OF THANKSGIVING TURKEY, NOTING PRESIDENTS SHOULD NOT PARDON THEMSELVES - November 24
BIDEN BOASTS IF SENATE DEMS HAD ONLY 59 VOTES FOR HEALTH CARE DEBATE HE COULD'VE BEEN THE TIE-BREAKER - November 24Add a comment
Howard Dean says the debate between profit motive being a parent of all invention and being enslaved in the nanny state is over.
He doesn't explicitly say it, because that is never how liberals roll. They have to throw tons of syllables and overanalysis to make themselves sound
smarter like they belong dimensionally on a higher plane of intellectual existence in a way that exudes spiritually moral ambiguity in a directly concrete way than they really are need their molecular inner soul to be.
......well......it makes sense to them....
If you really really want a written transcript of Howie's speech you can contact your physician and ask them to write out a prescription for sleeping pills.Add a comment
Now showing in Poetry:
Anyone who says humans are basically
God is basically Good
So is his creation of us
But our actions from infancy
The claim humanists
Wish to abide by
We are nowhere
Near His league or
To be there
Because we are basically good?
From the moment we are born
We are taught to:
Lying is worse
Give a bum a dime
Never forget to say thank you
If children have to be taught
to do what they should
Then how could we
Know to be
Basically Good?Add a comment
I don't mean to steal from Bill Maher, but I have a new rule:
We will start to treat the government like a child....if it can handle little boy responsiblities(keeping a couple of uninvited douchebags out of state dinners at the White House)then we can start to consider giving it big boy responsibilities
That said I'm no longer entirely convinced that we should be happy that Obama has finally made a decision on how he wants to "finish the job" in Afghanistan....that, Mr. President, sounds very much like a big boy decision for someone who can't even handle the state-crashers on his front lawn.Add a comment
Here's a rundown of the latest entries to the Satire Headline Archives:
GALLUP: OBAMA MAINTAINS STRONG APPROVAL RATING AMONG PUPPIES NOT EXPOSED TO OTHER PEOPLE - November 20
OBAMA DISCOVERS WAY TO NEUTRALIZE BIDEN'S VERBAL DIARRHEA BY CHALLENGING HIM TO COUNT HIGHER THAN NATIONAL DEBT - November 20
OBAMA DEFENDS 71 CAR CHINA MOTORCADE SINCE THE ENVIRONMENT SHOULDN'T GET IN THE WAY OF A HERO'S WELCOME - November 19
TAKING 34 HOURS TO READ, SENATE HEALTH BILL CLOCKS IN AT 10 HOURS LONGER THAN THE CONGRESSIONAL WORK YEAR - November 19
HILLARY CLINTON MAKES UNANNOUNCED TRIP TO AFGHAN-....BREAKING: BILL CLINTON CAUGHT WITH SECRET LOVER IN AFGHANISTAN - November 18
INSPIRED BY DOUG HOFFMAN, HILLARY CLINTON UNCONCEDES 2008-MARRIAGE TO BILL - November 17
BUDGET SURPLUS PROJECTED IF DEMS PROPOSED PLAN FOR INCOME TAX ON FUTURE EARNINGS OF UNBORN CITIZENS PASSES - November 17
OPRAH EDITS OUT PART OF PALIN INTERVIEW WHERE SHE SAYS ALASKANS CAN NOW SEE RUSSIA IN THE WHITE HOUSE - November 16
OBAMA BOW TO JAPAN'S EMPEROR NOT OUT OF RESPECT, WAS HIDING "EXCITEMENT" AT THOUGHT OF BEING EMPEROR OF USA - November 16
BIDEN REPLIES TO GOP CRITICS OF TERROR TRIALS-SAYS "NON-CITIZENS GET ALL SORTS OF COOL STUFF...LIKE PRESIDENT" - November 13
OBAMA GETS AGRESSIVE ON TERROR-SAYS SELF CONFESSING 9-11 MASTERMINDS ARE INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY IN COURT - November 13Add a comment
As a general rule...when anyone in the mainstream media tries to tell you something is bad for conservatives, its probably the elixir of life for them.
Take the latest cover of Newsweek graced by Sarah Palin for instance.
Naturally the cover, and the context Newsweek tries to put Palin in sparked some outrage, and it should. While I'm not sure in what way the sexist label is being leveled, I agree that at the very least she would never ever have been treated this way if she were a man or a liberal woman or Rachel Maddow's love child with Clay Aiken (I'm still trying to figure out how she was impregnated by Maddow).
The most outrageous quote from the article has to be a quote from a woman named Nina Berman:
"The Newsweek cover is a shrewd strategic maneuver to demean Palin without having to take responsibility for it. I think it's brilliant. They take an inelegantly, even laughably propped photo where Palin is an obvious participant as opposed to being a manipulated subject, and recontextualize it to show how far out she is willing to travel on the road of self promotion. They beat her at her own game and in the process shield themselves from what would have been the inevitable criticism if they had dolled her up themselves and posed her the same way."Add a comment
After his meeting with Japan's Emperor I think its pretty clear what his position on American Sovereignity is...but I'm pretty sure we've never had a concise and illustrated appraisal of Obama's positions on the other hot issues of the day...sure we have words...but pictures are worth more than that!
Sure some of this is very...
for example, we all know that Obama is not LITERALLY pissing our money way...its just a figure of speech meant to describe the actual vaporization of the dollar (via his hot, steamy pee) his fiscal policies are causing.
And now the president would like to demonstrate the position he would like you all to take regarding his policies psst....mouse....over here!Add a comment