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Here are the latest additions to the Satire Headlines Archive (starting with the most recent):
OBAMA ANNOUNCES NEW JOBS STIMULUS PLAN TO HIRE MORE CENSUS WORKERS, DEMAND RECOUNTS UNTIL 2012 - June 4
AFTER REVIEW OF LAST RESORT OPTIONS TO DEAL WITH OIL SPILL OBAMA IS ADVISED TO REMOVE FROM LIST "GIVE SPEECH FROM '08 ELECTION" - June 4
AFTER MEETING WITH ARIZONA GOVERNOR OBAMA PROMISES HER JOB OFFER IF SHE DOESN'T ASK FOR HIS PAPERS, AGAIN - June 3
OBAMA FEARS CREDIBILITY IS SLIPPING WHEN LAUGHTER ERUPTS AFTER SAYING HE IS GOOD AT PLAYING "CLUE" - June 3
JAMES CARVILLE DECLINES CHANCE TO CAMPAIGN FOR DEMS WITH OBAMA, SAYS HE’LL BE TOO BUSY WASHING HIS HAIR - June 2
GORES END 40 YEAR MARRIAGE WHEN TIPPER FINDS OUT "EL NINO" IS AL'S LOVE CHILD WITH MOTHER NATURE - June 1
"MISS ME YET" MOVEMENT GETS MAJOR BOOST AFTER GEORGE W. BUSH ANNOUNCED HE OFFICIALLY MISSES HIMSELF - June 1Add a comment
I've changed my position on human cloning....This guy is just out of this world, and all he's doing is telling the truth! Who would've thought?
He's right, this is it, they've been punching us for way too long, its time for ALL of us to punch back.
I'm in....are you?Add a comment
Forbidden Obama Utterance List....(FOUL) language that cannot be uttered in the halls of the White House. If I missed any, add them by commenting below:
Billion dollar deficits - see "the new surplus"
Birth certificate - as any Obama supporter will testify, Obama wasn't born, he always was and always will be
BP - "British Petroluem" must be pronounced in full, otherwise he will get it confused with "b*tch please," his typical response to suggestions he may be wrong
Fox News - Obama thinks they're not a real news organization because they're convincing the country he's not a real president.
Freedom - "dumb" is the last syllable of the name....'nuff said!
Hussein - Do you ever wonder what President Obama's middle name is? Suddenly, so does he.
Oil - Probably the most recent addition to the list, he's really tired of Biden "slipping" up and saying "Oilbama"
Radical Islam - the proper term is "violent extremists", lest we send Muslims into a tizzy that causes them to build nuclear weapons. "Violent extremeists" may be also be used with people who miss their morning coffee, people who suffer from road rage, and Republicans.
Right Guard - President B.O. really hates that brand of deodorant for some reason
Taxes - the biggest shocker of the list, Biden lobbied hard for this one, I think he meant Texas
Tea Party - Reportedly prefers to call it the Pee Party because they keep "raining" on his parade
The new surplus - any budget that can account for ObamaCare being repealed
Now playing in the Haiku section:
Hope, hope, hope, hope, hope
hope, HOPE, HOPE, HOPE, hope, hope, hope
Is the well capped yet?
Rare is the moment that the thing you want to mock actually mocks itself...
I'm going to rant now...
At the end of this demonstration in selfish-narcissism (a term that rips the time-space continuum and makes San Francisco the hell-mouth it is) these MasterTards have the audacity to let us know gay groups where involved in making of this amateur street show. If this was some kind of queer-eye hoe-down why was the dancing so damn bad? Where was the choreography? Where were the costumes?
How bad does this group of Lady Blah Blahs want health care anyway?
If they MUST sing and dance to make their point it should at least be good enough for the hotel management look at what they're doing, look at their balance sheet, look at the dancing again, and say "Yeah, this is worth denying economic reality."
I tell ya....they actually make me WANT to visit San Francisco and stay in every freakin' hotel there....and order room service.....and cling to my Bible. Dear God I would definitely need to do that.
Why do I have such a bug up my butt about San Francisco in this post? I don't live there so why should I care if a bunch of freaky bellhops want the hotel they work for to pay for their gay pap-smear party?
I care because that city is a microcosm for what liberal policies are going to do to this country if the Tea Party doesn't succeed in reminding us all what the real America is and should continue to be. The cost of living there is totally out of control, and even the residents know it. That is the consequence of acting like you're entitled to "free" everything if you throw a temper tantrum. It's NOT FREE! Someone, somewhere is paying for it!
If all this wasn't bad enough on its face, the time stamp on YouTube shows that this video was posted May 10, 2010....I'm not a math major but I think that is a whole 6 weeks after ObamaCare passed! These are Nancy Pelosi's constituents, did they not get the memo?
Oh, and did I forget to mention that the city already has a health care mandate on employers?
The real deal here is liberal's hunger for....stuff.....that they don't want to pay for is insatiable. They have already gotten their way on health care twice, and now they're telling their employer pony up. It never stops, it never freakin' stops..
I wish that was hyperbole, I wish I could say that there would come a point where even liberals would say, "no more money...aww shucks...maybe we DON'T have enough tax money for pensions for city workers pets, memorial plazas commemorating the persecution transgender-Americans, AND firefighters."
To that I give my response in the way that Joe Biden would put it...
Two words: Look at Greece.Add a comment
I think the media is trying to hide the fact that more than a thunder storm ruined Obama's Memorial Day. Click on "Before" and you be the judge...
I'm impressed at how the camera captured the word bubble ;-)Add a comment
Click to see the larger versionAdd a comment
What is it with Obama and guys named Joe causing him trouble?
Between the BP well and Joe "loose lips" Sestak its just a matter of time before the word "leak" joins "radical Islam" on the elite Forbidden Obama Words List, or FOWL. (Look for the full list of what is considered FOWL language in a future post)
So let me see if I have this straight...
Pennsylvania Democrat Joe Sestak slays Arlen Specter for the Democratic Party nomination for Senate, but not before revealing how the Obama administration offered him a job if he dropped out of the race and hand Specter the nomination.
This action, it turns out, is a crime.
After ignoring it didn't work, Obama has lunch with Bill Clinton, and shortly after that Clinton reveals he is the Pennsylvania Deepthroat who offered Sestak the job.
But wait, it wasn't a jobby-job, it was just an unpaid adivsory position. Now, Pennsylvania's Democratic Governor Ed Rendell is telling the country to chill out because basically all of this is politics as usual and everyone does it.
I left my dictionary in my other dunce cap so forgive me if I get this wrong, but how does one spell "politics as usual?"
The White House asked Pennsylvania Democrats to vote for Arlen Specter, a man whom they had previously spent half a lifetime voting against. To make this half-baked plan work they offered a job in Obama's administration to a man who is leading in the polls for a Senate primary in a state where he is the odds on favorite to be the next senator (if Obama wasn't such a crappy president the election in Pennsylvania would be a mere formality) for God knows how long while Obama and anyone in his administration will be tossed on his ass in two years....tops.....barring any delay of the country exiting the Twilight Zone.
To cover it up and divorce himself from all of this, Obama asks Bill Clinton to throw himself under the bus. Bill freakin' Clinton! He's NOT part of the Obama Administration, a fact that would be unmistakable to anyone with a pulse. So why would Sestak name-drop Obama? Billy has absolutely no authority whatsoever to speak for the administration..........unless they asked him to.
And they expect us to believe that all of this is being done so Sestak could become some kind of UNPAID Czar!
All of this is just too nuts for me. This is like that scene in the movie "Idiocracy" where Luke Wilson's character breaks out of prison by simply telling the prison guard he's not supposed to be there. These people think we are as dumb as they are!
I mean...seriously....it's like President Amateur Hur can't even get corruption right.Add a comment