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Top 10 Things You MIGHT Hear In An Obama Cabinet Meeting

Check out the companion post Top 10 Things You MIGHT NOT Hear In An Obama Cabinet Meeting

10. Since they have the agenda we can't start until the
teleprompters get here.

9. Sorry Joe, a big air conditioner wont stop global warming...

8. Thank you Ms. Sherrod for joining us on "bring your gaffe to work day."

7. Lets make this quick, the czars are throwing me a pizza party
in 10 minutes.

6. Um, Mr. President, you called Hillary "senator" again

5. Can't we just use the stimulus money to buy an approval rating?

4. And then I told Hillary, "yeah it was in the Oval Office, but at least we're married."

3. 2-4-6-8 America depreciate!

2. Can I be vice president today daddy?

1. Alright guys, who hacked my phone to make my text messages
say "LOL"?

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What Obama Doesn't Know...

Here is another joke I received in an email. Get used to me sharing them, and send me yours!

Barack Obama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane trip back to Washington. He turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." 

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to The Obama, "What would you like to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the Obama. "How about What Changes I Should Make To America?" and he smiles.

"OK," she says. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

Obama, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it for a second and finally says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to change America when you don't know shit?"

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How Shirley Sherrod Can Help Iran Get Obama's Attention

I was planning on writing up something about the debacle with the White House's handling of Shirley Sherrod...but then a more concise and graphic way to do it popped in my head...

Obama picks Shabazz's Nose

If its tough to read you can click the image above to see a larger version.

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Caption Fun: What did Obama Say To David Cameron?

Roll over the numbers to see my captions, leave a comment below with yours.

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What Anti-Incumbent Sentiment?

No ringers allowed... Michael Moore

I think liberals should have a Groundhog Day type of event where they cram a bunch of garbage down a voter's throat (they need something tangible to represent their philosophy) and if the voter doesn't puke until they die they get 4 more years of power.

That said, there is a new Quinnipiac poll out that paints yet another grim picture for the Democrats, where they would lose again in a generic ballot against Republicans.

While this is good news, the thing that irritates me about the reporting of these polls is that they continue to be interpreted, with a acumen of a tax-raising liberal in a recession, as "anti-incumbent sentiment."

This implies there isn't a rational reason to explain why the Democrat's numbers stink worse than poop that fell into a pile of ObamaCare. As if they're not doing anything at all (like hypothetically speaking defy the will of the public AND OPENLY ADMIT TO IT) to deserve the voter wrath that's marching toward November.

We all know that's ridiculous. This party under Obama's leadership has made so many gaffes you'd think they invented the concept.

This is a blog post, not Noah's Ark

I could go ahead and list the examples, but if you don't already know them then this post is probably above your pay-grade anyway....

All of this reminds me of a cartoon I drew many years ago (and is very different from the artwork I do now) that has nothing to do with politics but speaks perfectly to this issue. Basically, the problem Democrats and media have with interpreting the poll numbers goes something like this...

Anti-Incumbent cartoon metaphor

The poll also found that at the moment voters, by a three point margin, would pick ANY REPUBLICAN over Obama in 2012. In other words, every Republican in the country has a viable shot at being president if they were on the ballot against Obama today.

Your dog, if it's registered Republican and has a verifiable United States birth certificate, could be elected president over Obama .

Even Lindsey Graham could be elected president against Obama! All he'd have to do is become a Republican!

If Quinnipiac's finding is correct I guess even Obama could possibly avoid a scorching 2012 defeat by becoming a Republican, but then again, probably not. I don't think he'd withstand the pressure of the media demanding he show proof of citizenship.

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Caption Fun: The Liberals of Oz

Roll over the characters to see their lines (every character has a line except Dorothy in act 2, so if you don't see it right away be patient, its just loading).

I guess the order doesn't really matter, but I set it up so the proper way to go is from left to right (coincidence?).

Act 1

Sun Venus

Act 2

Sun Venus Venus

Act 3

Sun Venus

And because the liberals didn't want what the wizard had to offer we all lived CRAPILY EVER AFTER.

The end

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Unemployment 'Insurance' Should Include Paying Congress to Fire Itself

The following rant has been brought to you by the letters F, U, B, H, O.

Do we need a constitutional amendment to require Congress to start each session with an episode of Sesame Street so they'll never forget how to count?

First off, I can't tell anymore what is news and what is editorial, but it looks like Reuters is paying some screwloose named Alister Bull to write blog posts and packaging it as news.

If you're interested in yet another example of how conservatives have been "deluded" into thinking mainstream media reporters have devolved into nothing more than propaganda monkeys then check out Obama casts Republicans as party of the rich.

If you're out of barf bags (mine have pictures of Nancy Pelosi on them, I don't call it barfing I call it "giving her brains"...but I digress) and don't want to wait until you get some more here are the main points of the "article."

1. Republicans are the party of the rich.

2. Republicans are blocking the giving of more money to the jobless using that tired excuse that there literally isn't any.

3. Alister's last name has to actually be Crap, because its just too obvious that Bull is the middle one.

"Too often, the Republican leadership in the United States Senate chooses to filibuster our recovery and obstruct our progress.....after years of championing policies that turned a record surplus into a massive deficit, including a tax cut for the wealthiest Americans, they've finally decided to make their stand on the backs of the unemployed," (Obama) said.
Nationalized malaise... Monica Lewinsky

Remember when invoking class warfare was a rhetorical tool in the liberal utility belt, and not a signal of desperation? I never thought I'd long for the days when Democrat desperation wasn't so dangerous...

Seriously though, is cowardice now a programmed part of Democrat DNA?

Let me rephrase that...When did cowardice become part of Democrat DNA? Wait, let me rephrase that again...

Is the concept of evolution being pushed on the world by the left meant to hide the fact they're genetically flawed?

They'll say anything but the truth and do anything but the RIGHT thing when they're hiding behind other peoples' money. There isn't a single valid argument to be made for why the Democrats should take what money Americans have left so they can extend "benefits" (like not having to look for work) for people who already don't have to work for almost 2 whole years already, much less while the budget is over a trillion in the red!

I sympathize with the jobless, in this recession I spent about a year in employment limbo myself. I don't think anyone disagrees with the idea of helping those who need it. However at some point we should all feel civic responsibility for being accountable to our public debt! Why are "progressives" or liberals...or how about this, these "human Deepwater Horizons," so adamant about doing this stuff still?

It's unsustainable! Do you know how I know this to be true?!? Because this crap wouldn't even fly in Monopoly! I don't remember the rule where you can stop bankruptcy by calling the banker of being Republican.

I need to stop ranting...because now I'm just babbling a bunch of greedy happy talk...right?

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Barney Frank in Wonderland

Rumor has it that before Helena Bohnam Carter was cast in the latest Alice In Wonderland movie Tim Burton wanted the film to have a more political undertone...

Barney Frank in Wonderland

I didn't start said rumor...and by "didn't" I mean "maybe."

Click to see a larger version, if you're brave enough...

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Obama Tries To Teach Kids Gun Control

I received this joke in my email and I just laughed my butt off...

Barack Obama, at a recent rural elementary school assembly in West Virginia, asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence.

Then he said into the microphone, 'Children, every time I clap my hands together, a child in America dies from gun violence.'

Then, little Richard Earl, with a proud West Virginia drawl, pierced the quiet and said: 'Well, dumbass, stop clapping!'

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An Obama Haiku Sandwich

The best metaphor
For Barack's presidency?
What rhymes with orange?

Europe Warns Obama:
This Relationship Is Not Working

Where are the paddles?
Why is this creek flowing shit?
Barack overboard!

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