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An Obama Joke that Tells Itself...

As President Obama is now in Martha's Vineyard for his 6th apparent vacation of the year here is a headline from The Drudge Report:

Martha's Vineyard waters contaminated with fecal bacteria

It's Bush's fault

.......still no word if he'll be a man and fess up to it.

By the way, while this is going on Drudge leads with...


Iran is hours away from going nuclear


Well, I hope his vacation is as happy as our enemies are about to be.

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Obama's Lie Clock

If you haven't noticed yet I like getting really good jokes from people, and will share them every chance I get, here's another good one.



A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, 'What are all those clocks?'

St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks.

Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock.

Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.'

'Oh,' said the man, 'whose clock is that?'

'That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.'

'Incredible,' said the man. 'And whose clock is that one?'

St. Peter responded, 'That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.'

'Where's President Obama’s clock?' asked the man.

Obama’s clock is in Jesus' office.
He's using it as a ceiling fan.

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Nancy Pelosi, or Mrs. Zoolander?


Nancy Pelosi Blue Steel


If you haven't seen Zoolander, sorry.....and you should.

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Obama 2012 Slogans

It is never too early to start a list like this! This was inspired by the #Obama2012Slogan hashtag on Twitter...


Hope and Change you can be leavin'

Oh GOD Not Again!

Gettin' back my Mojo with No Joe, Obama Clinton 2012

BO never smelled so good

Because there's still so much left to tax...

Obama Clinton Clinton Obama 2012

Crises you can vacation on

My next inaugural ball will be a Ground Zero Mosquerade

FINALLY ready to take responsi-BUSH!

The Economy: Wanted Dead or Alive

Because our enemies need more time

If you think I'm TONE DEAF now just wait till I'm termed out!

Obama for Czar-in-Chief

I Hope you'll Change my political diaper

FORE! More years...



Favorites from the #Obama2012Slogan hashtag


A Chicken in Every Pot and Two Mosques at Every Crater

"Now with executive experience!"

We Will Pass No Bill That We Have Read

Still looking for someone's ass to kick

Can't Somebody Else Do It?

Ahhh...Let Me Be Clear....

What, you gonna elect that Mormon guy?

Blame you can believe in!

Yes We Can! (it's just taking a little longer than we thought, that's all)

Give my white half a shot.

Because I appoint myself Executive Branch Czar!

Sucking the Air Out of Economies World Wide!

You Work, We Redistribute, Get Over It!

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The Honesty of Obama's Joke About Driving

There's this clever little joke the president told a few days ago. This Washington Post blog makes it sound like he his teleprompter came up with it, but I've actually heard other liberals use it before him. I'm going to tell it my way...


Obama drives car


Incidentally, I think he's absolutely right....

You can see the full size version of the image by clicking on it.

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Obama, The Ground Zero Wise Guy

I know a lot of people had held their breath on whether or not Obama was going to support the mosque that is going to be built at Ground Zero. I knew as clear as day Biden's head that he would support it when poll after poll was showing the country, to put it mildly, is at a minimum 2 to 1 opposed to its construction. So I just knew he would come down on the wrong side of it because his brain is less like an organ of his body and more like a hall of broken mirrors.

"I was not commenting and I will not comment on the wisdom of making the decision to put a mosque there. I was commenting very specifically on the right people have that dates back to our founding. That's what our country is about. And I think it's very important, as difficult as some of these issues are, that we stay focused on who we are as a people and what our values are all about." (from Politico)
THAT sounds like liberal wisdumb

Great! He wont comment on the "wisdom" of the mosque...what a wise guy! Not only does first amendment guarantee that religious organizations be allowed exist and worship, but they are also absolutely allowed to build any building anywhere at anytime! Meaning they are exempt from any and all local zoning laws that could prevent them from being erected at emotionally charged open wounds such as Ground Zero.

I mean honestly, its not like they want to build something REALLY bad...like a Walmart....

"Just to be clear, the president is not backing off in any way from the comments he made last night,"(Deputy Press Secretary) Burton said. "It is not his role as president to pass judgment on every local project. (also from Politico)
Just to be clear, the president thinks the Cambridge Police acted stupidly

Wow, for once I have to say I totally agree that Obama can't respond to EVERY local issue that comes across his BlackBerry, presidents don't have time for that stuff. I know I know, 9-11 was an event of national significance, but Obama has to give the local government of New York City its due deference to make its own decisions on matters such as this because the federal government has WAY bigger fish to fry anyway. Laws that prohibit illegal immigration in podunk nowhere localities like Arizona aren't going to sue themselves!

The notion that this is a play to protect religious freedom is probably the greatest straw man constructed by liberals since they elevated Joe "if I only had a brain" Biden to the vice presidency. Nobody is saying they can't build the mosque at all! If that were the case then its supporters would actually have a point, which would probably prompt panic in the Obama Administration since they've never actually seen one before.

Almost everyone can agree that they have a right to build their mosque, period. Furthermore, THAT they worship is NOT the issue. The issue is WHERE they want to worship.

If the Cordoba Initiative was truly interested in seeking unity and reconciliation between Islam and the west, as they say they are, they would never fight to build their mosque steps away from Ground Zero. They certainly wouldn't dedicate it on the 10 year anniversary of 9-11 .

By the way...where were these liberal first amendment warriors, for example, when a DC cop busted school kids for praying at the steps of the Supreme Court?

This isn't about the first amendment at all! This is just another chance for liberals to have another "look at me" moment. They think those of us who oppose this mosque are a bunch of bigoted troglodytes who are just too weepy about 9-11 still to transcend its tragedy.

Remember this in a couple of months when the ACLU is on red alert and we Christians are expected to swallow "Happy Holidays" as if nobody knows which holiday is being celebrated. For liberals support for this mosque is nothing more than a public display of their own moral vanity.

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Liberal Pickup Lines

Actually not an easy task trying to come up with good ones (I'm not sure I did), but it seemed fun to at least attempt. This was inspired by the #LiberalPickupLines hastag on Twitter.

If you're not a fan of juvenile and/or sexual innuendo then some of these may not be for you...consider yourself warned.

Lets go back to my place so we can hike up your taxes and bash some Bush

Can I get someone else to buy you a drink?

Is the money in your pocket inflated or are you just happy to see me?

How about going out for taxes and sex? What?!? You don't like sex?

Reid.....Harry Reid

My safety word is "Lower my taxes"

I'm hung lower than Congress's approval rating

I wanna ride you like a Prius

I'm going to love you 'till Obama reads Arizona's immigration law.

(San Francisco special) Is that a banana in your pocket or are you really a dude

My safety word is "Praise Jesus Amen!"

Fwank....Bawney Fwank

Let me buy you a glass of Blame Bush, its my favorite red whine

You know what they say about guys with big carbon footprints....they have big private jets



Here are some of my favorites from Twitter's #LiberalPickupLines hashtag

"You had me at Mao!"

your mouth says "no," but this order from the 9th District Court of Appeals says "yes"

I get nude for animals. How about you?

Whats a Nice Girl like you doing in an Abortion Clinic like this?

I will make you scream the name of that guy you don't believe in.

My parents aren't home right now."

"I'm a covered benefit under your health insurance plan."

Can I organize your community?"

"Come up to my apartment and I'll show you some REAL inflation."

If you were Afghanistan I would never pull out.



Here are some good ones from a thread at Free Republic.

If I told you you had a nice Pelosi, would you hold it against me

Just call me Ralph Nader. Unsafe at any speed

I love the way you braided your armpit hair.

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Bouncing Good Ideas Off Of Obama

Throw them out there....see what if he thinks....


Bouncing good ideas off of Obama


It kind of looks like a Jester's hat (sort of intentional)....

Click the image to see the larger version.

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The Congressman and the Haircut

Here is another great joke (I sort of use the word loosely here...you'll see why) that was sent to me via email thats too good to not share:


One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied,'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a thank you card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop.

The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a thank you card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a Congressman came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Congressman was very happy and left the shop.

The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

BOTH POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON!

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Wrangling Rangel's Inevitable Resurrection

Other than hearing rumors that around the holidays if you place a glass of milk and a plate of race cards by a constitution burning fireplace he moves in to your home, pays below market rent and doesn't tell Congress, I don't actually know all that much about Charlie Rangel.

I can say that I don't understand what motivates the 80 year old to fight for a career he should have ended a generation ago so he wouldn't have to stick around long enough to get caught with 13 counts of ethics violations.

"You have started and executed the political crucifixion, but stay tuned for the political resurrection," says Al Sharpton at Rangel's 80th birthday party

Maybe its me, but I get such a spiritual charge out of hearing Sharpton getting all reverendy and comparing Rangel to Jesus Christ. I'm ashamed to admit that sometimes I wonder about about his credibility, and then he says something like this and all of my faith in him is restored in a manner not unlike the honor of the men he falsely accused of raping Tawana Brawley.

Unfortunately for democracy, chances are Sharpton is right. According to a source more reliable than Biden playing Jeopardy, Rangel's Wikipedia page points out how "Rangel has won re-election every two years since (his first election to Congress), often with over 90 percent of the vote."

This explains exactly why he's refusing to back down from the ethics charges he's facing right now, he NEVER has to work for the power he has been given and he feels entitled to it. I can understand how this can be when election nights for him since 1970 have been just another reason to have a party to celebrate being the least accountable congressman ever.

These are exactly the seeds with which corruption is sown and we're expected to believe Charlie has been totally impervious to all of it for the entire 40 years he has been in Congress. I don't know why he doesn't just tell the truth since his "resurrection" is inevitable anyway.

That said, I'm not really sure I want to know what resurrection looks like for a crusty 80 year old.....


Charlie Rangel Mummy


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