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So Liberals Are Getting 'Hippie Punched' eh?

I feel like I got broadsided with this new Hippie Punch-Gate thing going on in the liberal inner sphanctum (that's no a typo...think about it). Apparently David Axelrod got some frisky from a liberal blogger who is tired of Obama forcing them to do the electoral walk of shame(?)

That tension burst out into the open when [Crooks and Liars blogger Susan] Madrak directly asked Axelrod: "Have you ever heard of hippie punching?" That prompted a long silence from Axelrod.

"You want us to help you, the first thing I would suggest is enough of the hippie punching," Madrak added. "We're the girl you'll take under the bleachers but you won't be seen with in the light of day."

New York Magazine

This caused a lot of confusion. Especially since I thought hippies wouldn't be able to even use computers unless they figured out how to convert them into bongs.

So after a day or some of stirring the pot (pun intended) Madrak finally answered the question of what a hippie punch is.

Basically, after Axelrod told us how wonderful we were and how much they needed us to close the enthusiasm gap in this election, I called him on it. Like, yo Dave, here we are, liberal activists who give money and GOTV, and the White House needs to punch us in public so no one thinks they take us seriously?

She could've saved us all some trouble if she had put it in way that actually made sense, like dippie punch.

She also could've said donkey punch. This was her chance to do for women what Richard Pryor did for the "n-word."

I may start using it know...for the good of liberal women everywhere of course.


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Demotivating The Pledge for America

demotivation enviralmentalist

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An Open Letter Opposing the Pledge for America, by Barack Obama

What if....

Dear America,

I write to you today to urge you to reject the Republican's Pledge for America. First off, whats this "for America" garbage? That's not very it? What gives? Where's the self worship? Did they not learn anything from me? I put the ME in America!

There's also no personality behind it. For crying out loud I made women swoon for CHANGE (they didn't know I actually meant bus fare, but whatever).

That said here are a few reasons you need to reject the Pledge for America.

  1. First off, it's only 21 pages long, how do you fit change into 21 freakin' pages? My health care bill totally kicks its ass. I swear its like the only thing wimpier in paper than this pledge is that Declaration of Independence

  2. They want to stop TARP? What the hell is TARP? I thought we called it TARD...

  3. I think it's really wrong to try to put caps on spending after all government reports have already said I'm going to take the debt to $20 trillion. Think about all of the people who worked hard to prepare those reports....we're going to make liars out of them. (Take it from me, nobody likes a liar)

  4. Why should laws need constitutional authority? Why should a constitution have anything to do with the laws we write? Furthermore, what is a constitution anyway?

  5. There's nothing about absorbing terrorist attacks, at least I have a dang sponge.<----(psst!)

  6. I'm pretty sure they'll get us all killed if they impose harsh sanctions on Iran. Besides, we can't even get a grip on stopping Fox News.

  7. Do we really have to take 3 days to read a bill? Pssh! It took more time to print my copy of ObamaCare

  8. Speaking of ObamaCare they'll repeal that over my death paneled body.

So there you have it America. I strongly suggest you consider these reasons, and by "strongly" I mean "don't make me get all Orwell up in here!" (Michelle came up with that one)


President Barack Obama

Oh yeah and God Bless Americcccccaaaaaa...GREAT! I just gacked all over my brand new golf balls. Thanks a lot America!

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The Obama Sponge

Obama Terrorist Sponge

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The Real Reason Obama Likes Basketball

I guess I'm on an Obama-basketball kick today...but I'm not really sure if he plays basketball because he likes it...I really think he's trying to hide something else....

Obama Dice

I can't quite put my finger on it....

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A Grand End to the Recovery Bummer

So liberals as usual had it wrong, apparently Recovery Summer was so last year...

The downturn officially ended, and the recovery officially began, in June 2009, according to an announcement Monday by the official arbiter of economic turning points. Since that point, total output — the amount of goods and services produced by the United States — has increased, as have many other measures of economic activity.

But nonfarm payrolls are still down 329,000 from their level at the recession’s official end 15 months ago, and the slow growth in recent months means that the unemployed still have a long slog ahead.

read the rest at the New York Times

Before liberals start teaching Biden how to count so he wont be so confused at the concept of "high-five" I have a question that I know will leave me mighty perplexed as we enter into the fall and beyond and we are admonished it is Obama's policies that are improving things....

If the recession officially ended 4 months into Obama's presidency there there can't be any honest rationale that can be used to say any of his initiatives worked quickly enough to end it, right? So if economic growth remains anemic despite being in what extent are Obama's policies getting in the way of such things?

Does Nancy Pelosi look forever young?

In other words...are Obama's policies actually doing ANYTHING good?!?

The recession may officially be "over," but 82% of us apparently know better. That's because the job situation has remained virtually unchanged since the year before Obama kicked off this year's Recovery Summer Bummer celebration.

How can businesses hire when they have to take money that would go for jobs, and give it to grabby Uncle Sam instead? Obama keeps saying he got us out of that freakin' ditch, and maybe that would at least feel believable if he wasn't trying to tow his proverbial car with the wet noodle of tax hikes to paper over his out-of-this-solar-system deficit spending.

But I'm just a blogger, so what do I know <------(psst).

Guess which of this is the Obama's stimulus...

I don't know, maybe I'm just being impatient, but it seems to me that there is driving, then there is driving with the parking brake on, and then there is clutching the steering wheel and screaming "VROOOOOOOOOM!" in a car with the engine missing.

I do know this, conservatives are tired of telling liberals who know absolutely nothing about economics (which is, by the way, practically scientific fact now) and get to be put in charge of money "I told you so" so much they sound like Rahm Emmanuel dropping f-bombs.

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Obama Does A Great Job Guarding the Change


For once I'm happy to see he intends to make good on his word!

Obama Dice

Now I know why he gets busted for traveling all over the place.

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Things That Are Worse Than Witchcraft...

O'Donnell may have stupidly "dabbled in witchcraft" but I can think of a few things that may be worse...

Bill Maher having a nose that big and never realizing how bad his jokes stink.

Being the "um" counter in one of Obama's teleprompterless speeches

Watching Harry Reid try to convince a sports store clerk that he really needs that jock strap.

Electing Charlie Crist to anything but Self-tanner Czar

Barney Frank retiring from Congress to become the new spokesman for Viagra.

Biden participating in any spelling bee...

Studying the medical phenomenon of how Biden's hair plugs take root anything to in that big empty head

Pelosi fundraisers where guests donate with botox coupons

The data Al Gore uses to prove global warming

Being Chris Coons and realizing your opponent for Senate "dabbled" in something more believable than Marxism.

Check out what others have come up with at the #WorseThanWitchcraft hashtag at Twitter

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Obama Dice

The people's toy...

Obama Dice

Click the image for a larger version.

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Jimmy Carter Parallel's the Tea Party?

Former President Jimmy Carter said Monday he sees parallels between today's tea party and his own campaign for the White House in 1976. But he doesn't think the movement will be much of a factor beyond this fall's elections.

The Georgia Democrat told The Associated Press he rode a wave of voter discontent to the presidency on the heels of the Vietnam War and the Watergate scandal that felled President Richard Nixon, much like tea party conservatives are now earning support by voicing anger at the nation's economic woes.

Check out the rest at Breitbart.


Seriously though, I think he might actually have a legitimate point, because I see the parallels too...

Thanks high school geometry!

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