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Conservative Satire Headlines October 29, 2010

Poll finds majority mistake Jon Stewart's "Rally to Restore Sanity" for election day.

Obama orders Biden to stop telling people Jon Stewart called him "dude-e head"

Flash shortage of manure hits nation as more Americans are choosing to dress up for Halloween this year as ObamaCare.

Hillary Clinton issues statement announcing that for Halloween this year she is going to be "vindicated."

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Why Gore Should Be Prohibited From Speaking

From the Daily "editorial" comments are in yellow...

Green-minded campaigner Al Gore has been left red-faced after being accused of leaving his car running for almost an hour while he gave a lecture on sustainable development because this environazi power-pimp has to take steps to make sure the "problem" never actually goes away.

It is alleged that Gore made the gaffe while he spoke at the School of Business, Economics and Law in Gothenburg, Sweden on Wednesday. Are they sure it wasn't clown school?

His mistake was compounded further by the fact that he had asked his distinguished guests to attend the event by public transport in order to minimize CO2 emissions. It would've cramped his carbon footprint

Swedish law prohibits – for environmental reasons - any car engine being left running without its driver for more than 60 seconds. 

Read the entire article at The Daily Mail

There should be no further discussion on discussing whether or not we should even discuss "global warming" until there is a law that prohibits Al Gore from speaking for more than 60 seconds for A LOT more than just environmental reasons.

If there is any doubt to liberals that Gore has..

...much credibility left, then I just don't know what to do to get them to figure out their eco-pope is a fraud.

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Bill Maher is a Sphincter (to put it nicely)

Watch this video and prepare for some really salty language. This guy really boils my blood and I'm going to unload it here.

Bill Maher is an asshole. I don't mean asshole like he's the guy who is 20 years too old for the nightclub and hitting on girls who could be his daughter, or the old lady at the grocery store causing a line to form as she takes time to write her check on the debit card reader.

I mean this guy is so bad his mouth competes with his anus....I mean this guy's saliva is made of feces.

Vomit is not in his vocabulary of things his mouth does, but diarrhea is.

Given the hand Obama was dealt he gets an A?!? The man was dealt the royal f*#(king flush of politics, and he screwed up so bad its almost as if played it like he was Bill Maher.

The greatest example of how truly stupid this man is came about 7 years ago, when he was criticizing what he thought was the contrived diversity of the 2000 Republican National Convention. Then he cracked a joke about how the last time the Republicans had so many black people join them on stage they were selling them..........

Its when he blows that big dumb nose.

..........That's right, the political party that freed the slaves sold them. At that moment I was CONVINCED that at some point, somehow, Maher's brain fell out of his head.....

As you can imagine the joke was met with huge laughter by the liberal audience, which highlights how the haves and have-nots in America are not divided between rich and poor unless its in terms of intelligence.

He and Meghan McCain must have mental jam sessions where they where they combine the number of dumb things that come out of their heads and see if under any scenario it can equal less than infinity.

Maher had the potential to be among the great political humorists of our time, but he is ruled too much by the hate created by the religiosity of his liberal arrogance, which produces nothing but historically ignorant laughter that masks the sound of Lincoln turning over in his grave.

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Should Dems Bring Back the Donkey?

Bringing back the donkey

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Conservative Satire Headlines October 28, 2010

Poll finds 65% of voters would replace entire congress, 35% think they just need more bananas.

Dems trying to smear O'Donnell with one-night-stand allegations are blasted for hypocrisy of indiscriminately screwing the American people daily.

"Dismayed" that GOP election victory is an intolerable shift to the right for U.S. many Europeans vow to move somewhere safer, China.

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Liberalism Is Genetic?!?


Don't hold liberals responsible for their opinion -- they can't help themselves.

A new study has concluded that ideology is not just a social thing, it's built into the DNA, borne along by a gene called DRD4. Tagged "the liberal gene," DRD4 is the first specific bit of human DNA that predisposes people to certain political views, the study's authors claim.

"We hypothesize that individuals with a genetic predisposition toward seeking out new experiences will tend to be more liberal, but only if they are embedded in a social context that provides them with multiple points of view,"... the researchers were able to show that people with a specific variant of the DRD4 gene were more likely to be liberal as adults -- although only if they had an active adolescent social life.

The research, sponsored by the National Science Foundation, focused on dopamine -- a neurotransmitter that affects a wide variety of brain processes including control over movement, emotions, and ability to experience pleasure and pain. Previous research identified connections between a variant of this gene and novelty-seeking behavior, a personality trait that numerous studies have shown is linked to political liberalism, the authors say.

Read the entire article at Fox News

So Michael Savage was right after all. Liberalism IS a mental disease....and here I was thinking he forgot to take HIS meds.

It makes sense, they raise taxes when people don't have money because they can't help themselves. They pass ObamaCare when nobody wants it and we're running trillion dollar deficits...because they can't help themselves.

Lets slap some wings on the deficit

They brake for butterflies...because they CAN'T HELP THEMSELVES!!!

What an eyeopener. Their predisposition to "seek out new experiences" explains is why they insist on changing our way of life, especially when it ain't broke. Yeah, socialism doesn't work when others have done it, but THEY want to TRY it...just to see...

If liberals like experimentation so much (because they can't help it) they should do us all a favor and quit politics, take up science and examine themselves...

And here I thought they were being willfully stupid for the fun of it.

I have a modest proposal...Instead of focusing on dopamine could doctors just go ahead and designate the neurotransmitter that liberals brains' operate on to be called "DopeyMean"....

Joy Behar is Dopey and Mean

...for the sake of clarification?

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Why Progressives Don't Need To Be Honest...

Is that MoveOn troll Lauren Valle? What the heck is this all about? Get your explanation at The Other Side of The Rand Paul Stomping Incident.

Click the image to get the full size poster

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Conservative Satire Headlines October 27, 2010

Scientists discover liberalism may be genetic, or related the number of times their head gets stomped.

Obama agrees to be a guest on The Daily Show after panic ensued that writers were having trouble coming up with jokes.

Joy Behar earns right to remove dunce cap when saying illegal immigrants wont vote for Angle. Gets it back for thinking they can vote for Reid.

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The Other Side of the Rand Paul Stomping Incident

I will say this only once. I want to make it clear and unequivocal that stomping on anyone for any reason is wrong...PERIOD. Especially when they have been subdued. That said, here is MoveOn mole Lauren Valle's account of what led up to her head being stomped at a Rand Paul event

Well just before the tape I was identified by the Rand Paul campaign because they've seen me around town at these events. And they realized they know me because of my work and they don't support it. So they actually formed a blockade around me once they realized that I was there. And as Rand's car pulls up they step in front of me and start to block me so I stepped off the curb to try and get around them and at that point they pursued me around the car, chased me around the car, and what you see in the video is when I'm in the front of the car and that's when I'm pulled down and then my head is stomped on.

Read the entire Red State article here (via Memeorandum)

Here is a video obtained by Red State that demonstrates my frustration that there isn't a font that I can use when quoting liberals that evokes LIAR.

As you can see, Valle's story and the truth match up just shy of 0.00000000000000%. Supporters did not blockade her, and she didn't step off the curb to "get around" them. She stepped off that curb to assault Rand Paul when he was in his car.

This is why I refrained on commenting about this until now. Chaotic situations like this one always have two sides to the story, ESPECIALLY when leftists are involved. It never fails, all you have to do is wait for it.

This will become the emblematic event this campaign season that illustrates what the core of liberalism has become...Liberals/Progressives/Leftists are allergic to the truth and honesty. I'm not just talking about Valle's lying about this incident. I'm saying their entire world is a lie.

They pose as members of our side at rallies and make complete SOB's out of themselves to make us look bad. They can't win an argument fairly, so they name call and race card us to death. THEN there is stuff like this. They provoke us into BEING FORCED TO SUBDUE THEM because they refuse to act like civilized human beings, and it gets them painted as victims.

This kind of narcissism can only come from the left. They don't have to be honest because they have truth on their side. This paradox is lost on them because how can THEY be wrong. They're too in love with their own intelligence to see dumb they truly are.

I shudder to think of what liberals would get away with if we didn't have the internet.


After giving some thought to the matter and having a lot of liberal banshee howls hurled my way, I'm willing to acknowledge that there is a case to be made that saying she "assaulted" Paul is a bit strong.

That said, Valle did herself very little good slapping on a wig and wearing an oversized jacket with the hood on AND CHARGING THE CAR. She conducted herself like a powder keg of unpredictability, and is most definitely the cause of the trouble. Had she just stood there LIKE SHE LYINGLY SAID SHE DID, this post wouldn't need to exist because there would have been no incident.

That is simply not up for discussion, you can't do stuff like that. It doesn't mean you should be beat up for it either....BUT YOU CAN'T DO STUFF LIKE THAT.

Replace Rand Paul with President Obama and the liberals who have been trolling this blog and my Twitter would be singing a very different tune.

By the way you liberal trolls, unlike the person behind the camera that filmed the stomp I would not have just stood there and watched Tim Profitt do what he did. That idiot should have been tackled harder than Valle was...but don't let me saying so stop you from lying about me in cyberspace.

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Reminder About The Election Schedule

A different take on an old joke...

Click the image to get the full size poster

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