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The 12 Step Program To Congress Getting Over Weiner

As Anthony Weiner makes a hasty exit is dragged kicking and screaming from his seat of power this is the perfect time to outline a 12 step program to exorcise a member of Congress who is so creepy even his own fellow Democrats got too grossed out to defend him...

  1. Deny there is a problem - I was hacked, vast right-wing conspiracy, this is a distraction. When cornered, try equivocation with statements like "hey it's not like I took off my shirt too" or "at least it isn't as big as a trunk, then I'd have to switch parties."
  2. Applaud the efforts of your party and media mouth pieces to defend your honor like it was their own. This is harder than it sounds because half the battle is pretending that all of the participants actually have any.
  3. Sit back and wait for the truth to unravel so you can execute plan B, character witness testimony.
  4. If the porn star won't cooperate with plan B then execute plan C: hire a hypnotist to remove knowledge of your own guilt beyond a shadow of "certitude."
  5. If that doesn't work, announce that your wife is pregnant in the hopes that takes the attention off of you as pundits debate whether or not they should hope he has a son, since a girl would be confronted with her friends being "followed" by him online when if he can wait until she turns 18.
  6. Wishing the previous step was the drop dead last one, when all else fails, have a chat with the wife about how to handle the situation, her pregnancy hormones should be especially helpful in figuring this out.
  7. Seeing that the whole world is turning their back on you now is the moment everyone else has been waiting for with bated breath...the "cock" shot.....just kidding, it's his resignation.
  8. The Democratic Party goes to work finding a replacement, the most important part of the vetting process will be assessing one's ability to better effectively cover their tracks.
  9. An election will take place after a court rejects a lawsuit that called for cleansing Congressman Weiner's district using fire.
  10. Then there's the election. In a desperate attempt to not be completely out of the picture, Weiner spends a fortune trying to get someone to accept his endorsement.
  11. The Democrat who wins (and is not endorsed by Weiner) vows to clean things up, starting with tweeting to women his own age.
  12. The seat Weiner occupied in the House is physically removed and replaced with a new one by the CDC.

Only when all these steps are taken can the country get back to more important things, like keeping count of how many games of golf Obama has played without using a calculator.

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If You Must Talk To A Liberal You Will Need A Translator



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So Is Obama a War Criminal Now, Or What?

The Obama Administration says the War Powers Act doesn't apply to Libya because bombing and blowing up a country until its leader is deposed doesn't constitute engaging in "hostilities."

Somewhere in the afterlife George Orwell is either blushing, or this was the tipping point that finally gave him his wings.

I don't need to tell anyone that if Obama were a Republican Cindy Sheehan would be staging topless protests in front of the White House right now. Let that sink in for a second.....let me rephrase that.....clean the vomit off your screen, and let that sink in for a second.

Liberals in this country are preparing to line a billion dollar warchest so they can go to battle for their guy against a challenger that comes from "the party of the rich." At this point we all can agree that the real and only reason he won the Nobel Peace Prize was that the air he exhaled brought peace to second hand smoke addicts.

Now he engages in a military conflict (some are even willing to call it a war) in the real sense of the term "unilaterally." He thumbs his nose at Congress over it so hard so hard that his boogers are now victims of friendly fire, and liberals who think Bush should be strung up for Iraq will think it's the end of the world if this guy doesn't get reelected.

If Bush is a war criminal to these people without being able to credibly point to any specific law that was actually violated, then how is this not worse?

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Following The NBA Finals John Kasich Shows His Good Sense Of Humor

This is a rare occasion where a hat tip to The Atlantic



Beyond the loyalty southern California residents show the Lakers I'm not actually a devoted follower of basketball...but I know enough to know LeBron James had this coming.

I don't mean to pile on to the huge helping of humble pie this guy is being made to eat....but I have to end this with a good joke Hugh Hewitt told on his radio show earlier this week...

Q: Why didn't LeBron James go to college?

A: He didn't want to take the finals

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Hey! Why Don't We Apply Affirmative Action To Basketball?

My friends over at Exposing Leftists have done it again. Marvel with amazement at the intellectual agility of liberals who oppose instituting affirmative action for UC Riverside's basketball team...



Affirmative action is a program I've always found to be particularly irritating because liberals don't even try to hide the inherently racists sentiments of it. Like everything else liberalism invents, this program lives in bizzaro-world-hypocrisy with pro-choicers who oppose capital punishment.

Somehow....SOMEHOW...conservatives opposing affirmative action are the racists for suggesting minorities really aren't inferior, nor do they need special condescension, or rather the narcissistic racism, white liberals provide them.

The only thing more tragic than the pass liberals get for their bigotry is that minorities truly believe they need it.

The few students who could muster enough electricity in their brain to form syllables articulating the "difference" between academics and sports said that sports are based on skills. I guess the implication there is that academia is little more than a trip to the craps table. If I had known that I would've skipped all of the classes I had to go through to become a commercial artist...because there's no skill in that line of work. The same is true with people who go to school to become doctors, engineers, and actors....no skills necessary.

This revelation pisses me off big time, because I could've saved tens of thousands of dollars in loans and tuition. Man, what a freakin' gyp!

Unlike performance in athletic tryouts, where skills, like the kind Michael Jordan had, just materialize overnight with no work needed to build them up, academic performance from K-12 should have no bearing on a person's ability to make it through college...and that's why the Democratic Party produces Vice Presidents like Joe Biden, and DNC chairs like Debbie Wasserman Schultz.

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Palin's Emails Reveal The Bankruptcy of Liberalism's Pursuit of Truth

Years ago I was able to score tickets to see a "debate" between Ann Coulter and Al Franken before he went from attempting jokes to becoming one in the Senate. I wish I could say it was more intellectually stimulating than watching Biden and Debbie Wasserman Schultz wax philosophic about the sexual innuendo derived from Obama "turning the economy around."

Truth be told it was a fairly mundane event, Coulter made a lot of good points and Franken cracked jokes that insinuated Coulter was a whore (which was her characterization of it, not mine), which was as much as one could expect from someone who was quarterbacking Air America, the Detroit Lions of radio.

One interesting moment of the evening came when Franken said his family was Republican until Goldwater opposed the Civil Rights Act of 1964, that's when they became disgusted with the entire party beyond reconciliation.

Bemused by how one man could completely transform the Franken family's political proclivities, Coulter countered with the time honored fact that as a percentage of the party more Republicans supported the law than did Democrats. All it got her was a theater full of boos (it was a mostly Jewish audience, in Los Angeles, the deck was stacked against her from the start).

This stunned me, it was historical fact, and it got booed.

I didn't know what to make of that. The liberals who booed her thought she was either wrong, or just making things up. They didn't even begin to consider whether or not she was being honest. That's when the light to really understanding how liberals think flicked on in my head.

To liberals the ends justify the means, period. So they thought Coulter was just trying to "win" the argument. To them, in pursuit of that goal, truth is a coincidence more than it is an objective. They think we operate in the exact same way they do.

That's why liberals, with Weiner roasted by conservatives as his photos burned holes in our smart phones, salivated over the Palin email dump. Somewhere in that pile they just knew she's tweeted her "dick" too, and now was their chance to find it.

Character is what you do when you think nobody is looking. Instead of being a big fat Weiner, liberals found what we've known all along about Palin, that her worst is better than their best.

That's also why they're always forced to boil their actions down to moral equivalence. Conservatives aren't perfect, therefore abortion is moral, drugs should be legal, it's just sex, hide the decline that the planet has a fever (and it's not because of our private jets), and give socialism a chance.

But they can't say any of it like that, they have to hide behind lies and the isolated personal failings of conservatives, so the savaging of Palin's emails was especially disappointing not only because they hate her so much, but because they can't use them to shield the world from the fact that at it's core liberalism is failure, and if it were a god then Barack Obama is it's only begotten son (they were also supposed to help avenge a Weiner in decline).

This election is going to be a fascinating one, Obama's now materialized record can't hide behind his personality like his past could in 2008. So liberals are going to have to manufacture the mother of all whoppers if they want to beat conservative rhetoric next year. Meanwhile, lets hope all the GOP candidates remember the simple fact that the truth will set us free, and keep us free.

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Things We Learned From the New Hampshire GOP Debate

To get the most obvious out of the way. John King is a douche...normally I would just use the initials and let your brain do the rest, but he deserves the honor. I get it if the candidates had thirty seconds to answer a question and they were taking so long you could bake a potato by candlelight before their thought could even come to a comma...but thats not what happened here. He was trying to break in after only a few seconds, or maybe it was just his ape tourettes...I don't really care, in my mind he's fired from future debates, because it got really old REALLY fast.

Frank J over at IMAO has some excellent suggestions for how they can get around renegade moderators here.

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I like Herman Cain...a lot. Figuring out algebra would be a waste of time with that guy because there's no need to figure out what "x" equals when he'll just tell you plainly. In a way he is totally unqualified to be president because he can identify problems, and offer solutions based on those problems. I mean, honestly, how hard is it to blow some smoke up my ass to reassure me you're not some crazy person who takes this job seriously?

This ain't going to be a vote for prom king. If this debate sets the tone for how the campaign is going to be conducted personality is not going to drive who will win. As much as John King tried to turn it into the Fort Knox of sound bytes, a lot of substance was communicated last night. There was a lot of....stuff...to shovel too. The upside to putting up with it is just that, we put up with it, we don't get s**t for brains eating grins like Zobamabies do with say-nothing buzz words.

Ron Paul's purpose is to prevent the stage from looking like a Cleaver family reunion. The man makes Mr. Magoo with ADD look focused. Someone needs to tell Ashton Kutcher that he can stop now, and the world record for longest running hidden camera prank will never be broken.

At some point Mitt Romney needs to get some guidance from John Edwards... on how to pick a good makeup artist. He looks plastic my foot! He looked a lot more like he snorted lines of pollen backstage before the debate started.

"This or that" was lame, but I guess it was a way to step out of the batters box and figure them out on a more personal level. Ron Paul was asked Blackberry or iPhone and he picked Blackberry...the only thing I can get out of that is if I didn't already have my iPhone I would suddenly want one as a reflection of my take on Ron Paul's decision making abilities.

This is NOT a weak field of candidates. Even people I like, but am going bald scratching my head over, like Michelle Bachmann (in my humble opinion, which has changed after her great performance in this debate), could most definitely take and whoop Obama both on paper, and in the debates. I have no clue how to call it yet, but I can say with...certitude...that Barack Obama is going to walk onto a second term like Biden can tell you who was buried in Grant's Tomb...unless Ron Paul is the nominee.

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Romney made the very astute observation that anyone on the stage would make a better president than Obama. If you play that sound byte backwards you'll hear "except for Ron Paul." I know a lot of conservatives would disagree with me on that, but they have to look further than 5 minutes into the future to realize we can't just look to beat Obama, we need to look to someone who wont ruin the conservative/GOP brand...again.

That's how crazy leftists get elected in this country. It's why McCain's defeat in 2008 is a blessing in disguise. We had to go through that to get to where we are today, and today is a much better day to be a Republican than when John McCain asked us to follow him off a cliff, and the only thing holding us back from doing that was...Mike Huckabee?!?

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Obama Beats Wall Street Fat Cats Because He Loves Them

So part of the plan to build up Obama's billion dollar war chest is to pump the same rich people he has been demonizing since his inauguration. This time around it's not all roses blooming "communist red" for the president...

...One Democratic financier invited to this month’s dinner, who asked for anonymity because he did not want to anger the White House, said it was ironic that the same president who once criticized bankers as “fat cats” would now invite them to dine at Daniel, where the six-course tasting menu runs to $195 a person.

The donor declined the invitation.

More at The New York Times

I don't blame Obama, he pisses on everthing and thinks it's life giving holy water....

    He pees in water traps so his golf balls will start bouncing off them.

    God jokes that it rains because Obama "missed."

    Am I the only one who thinks the flooding in the south, conservative base of the country, isn't mere coincidence?

    When liberals shed tears for him it's not crying, it's baptism.

    The Chinese flag...it has yellow....guess where it comes from...

Why would he not expect to see something green sprout up when he "waters" rich people?

I suppose they'll support him again, the richest will be able to innoculate themselves from being hammered and sickled, so they're not concerned that Obama's dismantling of free enterprise will disrupt the lap of luxury their bottom line sits on. When you're worth tens or hundreds of millions of dollars (and more often than not, billions) it's more about being in some cool kid club. At that point your checkbook makes the rules everyone else follows.

To offset those defections, Mr. Obama’s campaign has deployed a corps of loyal Wall Street supporters who have fanned out to defend the president’s record and stoke fatigued donors. 

It's nice to know that no amount of privalege of birth, education, networking, wealth, apparent hard work, more wealth, ego stroking, and offers for the honor to tutor Biden in something (it doesn't matter what), will ever be powerful enough to avoid being a victim of "he beats you because he loves you."

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Obama Really Has Turned The Economy Around

Did you hear the news! Obama turned the economy around!!! DNC chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz says it and it is so...



Unfortunately, I'm sorry to say, Biden in a skirt is 1000% right...



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Biden Helps Fix Part of the Debt Problem



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