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How To Literally Turn San Francisco Into A Ghost Town

This is not a new joke, but I revised it to make more sense than the original...


A tourist walks into a curio shop in San Francisco. Looking around at the exotica, he notices a very lifelike life-sized bronze statue of a rat. It has no price tag, but is so striking he decides he must have it. He takes it to the owner:

"How much for the bronze rat?"

"$12 for the rat, $100 for the story," says the owner.

The tourist gives the man $12. "I'll just take the rat, you can keep the story."

As he walks down the street carrying his bronze rat, he notices that a few real rats have crawled out of the alleys and sewers and begun following him down the street. This is disconcerting, and he begins walking faster. But within a couple of blocks, the herd of rats behind him has grown to hundreds, and they begin squealing.

He begins to trot toward the Bay, looking around to see that the rats now number in the MILLIONS, and are squealing and coming toward him faster and faster. Concerned, even scared, he runs to the edge of the Bay, and throws the bronze rat as far out into the water as he can.

Amazingly, the millions of rats all jump into the Bay after it, and are all drowned. The man walks back to the curio shop.

"Ah ha," says the owner, "you have come back for the story?"

"No," says the man, "I came back to see if you have a bronze Democrat."

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America Has Two Choices, And The Time For Choosing Is Now

When I was in college I had an illustration instructor who told us a philosophy that one of his instructors lived by on how the work of a commercial artist, is and how to use it to manage a clients expectations.

Good, Fast, Cheap: Pick Two

Truth be told, I didn't know Helen Thomas has hair

This country is on a course to forcing a similar choice Americans will have to make more and more urgent. I'm not talking about disingenuous choices like conservatives bitching about Obama golfing so much, as if we actually want him to going to work instead. I'm not even talking about silly inconseuqential choices, like which female liberal haircut is most stylish between Helen Thomas, Rachel Maddow, and Dennis Kucinich.

Conservatives have been talking about this particular choice for decades, and the future is now.

This isn't hypotheticals wrapped in high-minded rhetoric. California is now forcing online businesses that have any physical presence in the state to collect sales tax from business it does there. Here's why...

The legislation was intended to eliminate a perceived business impediment for brick-and-mortar retailers in the state, according to California Democratic Assemblywoman Nancy Skinner, who helped develop the bill. State and local sales taxes can total 10 percent in some California cities, and big-box retailers like Wal-Mart complained that tax-free sales on Amazon were an unfair edge....

Bigger retailers like Amazon and Overstock will be able to deal with the taxes...But it could have a chilling effect on new companies and ideas. “It's the nascent businesses, too. The next, the next BlueNile. They won't make it out of the early startup phase.”

From Fox News

What are we going to put a premium on in this country?

This is a time for choosing that is more urgent than anything we've had, and the American people who can give you an summary of every episode of Dancing with The Stars before they can tell you what is in the Bill of Rights needs to begin being confronted with this reality....

For those who are interested, this design is available for stickers (here) and t-shirts (here) at my newly retooled online store. Please know I set the prices a low as possible because I'm WAY more interested in the message getting out than making a serious profit off of it.

I can't say the same for shops like this one.

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Use The Stimulus to Socialize Cheetos and Gaga!

Other than everything, what else should the liberals try to socialize?

Oh, I know!

STUPIDITY - The haves like Biden need to spread the wealth because we can't have anymore liberals like Mark Halperin calling him a "dick." Democrats can't afford such temper tantrums of intelligence.

AIR FORCE ONE - If Obama is serious about reducing carbon footprints then he should seek "investors" in his...and since I mentioned that...

SILENCE - Is golden, duct tape is silver, and all nations of the world could reduce emissions with positive economic impact if liberals would just keep their mouths shut.

FOX NEWS - Think about it libs. Socialism ruins everything it touches. So just think what would happen if you funded them with taxes and unionized everyone! "The No Spin Zone wouldn't be about honesty, it would be about laziness. The host would talk only if they felt like it, meaning shows would have so much dead air the cavity in Obama's head where his brain should be would finally have a break from depending on teleprompters to counter guys like Hannity.

Man, why do I feel like I may have just committed treason?

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When Saying "Dick" Is So Much More Offensive Than Tweeting One

You know we are in a slooooooooooooooooooooooooow news cycle when the big news of the day is that MSNBC suspended commentator Mark Halperin IN-DEF-IN-ITE-LY LY ly ly ly <---(if text could echo) for calling Obama a "dick" on the show "Morning Joe."

This brings to light two burning question American's must have answered....First, WHO IS MARK HALPERIN?

Yeah I've heard of the guy, but this seriously could have gone totally unnoticed because it happened on MSNBC, a channel the even NBC has to be reminded exists, and the guy is a household name in his household only (I'm assuming).

The other burning question is, what did he do wrong?

Scarborough and Morning Joe Executive Producer Alex Korson said they were sorry for what happened.

“Certainly, [host] Mika [Brzezinski] and I also apologize to viewers,” Scarborough said. “And we hear this all the time — parents come up and say, ‘Hey, by the way, we don’t just watch the show, our kids watch the show.’”

From Politico

It's nice that Morning Joe's audience allows their kids to watch the show. Most camera crews don't take their family to work, so I could understand why they wouldn't want them to hear that Obama is any four letter word...but isn't he one?

If there was a third burning question it would have to be whether or not the word was offensive, or if MSNBC just didn't like Halperin's target.

Sometimes, I have to wonder if these things happen as stunts to help double the number of viewer <---(not a typo) they have. In the end don't think this would be news, even in a slow news cycle like this, if the president was Republican.

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Obama v. Bachmann, Take The Flake Challenge

If you were to give Obama the same treatment Michele Bachmann has been getting over the last week and shake him like a snowglobe, how many flakes would he produce?

h/t Moonbattery

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What Else Should Liberals Not Compromise For Tax Breaks?

I'm looking forward to the day where an adult is president again....

“If we do not have revenues, that means there are a bunch of kids out there who do not have college scholarships,” Obama said. “[It] might compromise the National Weather Services. It means we might not be funding critical medical research. It means food inspection might be compromised. I’ve said to Republican leaders, ‘You go talk to your constituents and ask them, “Are you willing to compromise your kids’ safety so some corporate-jet owner can get a tax break?”

More at National Journal

Is it really THAT simple?!? Wow...I never thought of it in such stark terms before. The boy wonder president never ceases to amaze with his ability to communicate so clearly what the stakes are in this debt fight. As good as this is I don't think he makes it clear enough. So I rewrote the money shot a few times to really illustrate to the American taxpayer how important this is.

    Are you willing to compromise my war in Libya so some corporate-jet owner can get a tax break?

    Are you willing to compromise funding abortion mills so some corporate-jet owner can get a tax break?

    Are you willing to compromise vote entitling entitlements so some corporate-jet owner can get a tax break?

    Are you willing to compromise my family's vacations so some corporate-jet owner can get a tax break?

    Are you willing to compromise my ability to donate money to the church of big tobacco so some corporate-jet owner can get a tax break?

    Are you willing to compromise Joe's hair plug allowance so some corporate-jet owner can get a tax break?

    Are you willing to compromise Harry Reid's ongoing male hormone therapy so some corporate-jet owner can get a tax break?

    Are you willing to compromise Nancy Pelosi's R&D in clean broom technology so some corporate-jet owner can get a tax break?

    Are you willing to compromise Barney Frank's hush money so some corporate-jet owner can get a tax break?

Anyone who thinks "vital services" are actually at stake in this debt fight should visit Dirty Spending Secrets.

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Imagine, John Lennon, A Republican...

Well look who took Churchill to heart about being a liberal at 40 (emphasis is mine)....

John Lennon was a closet Republican, who felt a little embarrassed by his former radicalism, at the time of his death - according to the tragic Beatles star's last personal assistant.

Fred Seaman worked alongside the music legend from 1979 to Lennon's death at the end of 1980 and he reveals the star was a Ronald Reagan fan who enjoyed arguing with left-wing radicals who reminded him of his former self....

"He was a very different person back in 1979 and 80 than he'd been when he wrote Imagine. By 1979 he looked back on that guy and was embarrassed by that guy's naivete."

More at The Toronto Sun

We have seen for a generation or so the product of what kind of leadership the narcissism of the 60's can produce...a lot of hippies never found their brain. Lennon's story is only shocking because of the icon he has become to the left. The saying attributed to Winston Churchill...

    "If you're not a liberal at twenty you have no heart, if you're not a conservative at forty you have no brain."

...has so much traction because it's so true.

You have to wonder what the heck happened to make the guy who wrote "Imagine" lose his imagination, the most important ingredient needed to fall for liberal arguments, to say nothing of that song.

"Naivete" is the key word in all of this. Imagination covers over reason and allows you to accept whatever you want to believe, liberals proceed to act on their imagination with near reckless abandon for how the world really works.

Imagine all the sheeple, living electronically ...oooooh might think that I'm a schemer, well, just not a liberal one

This is why I really really REALLY wish my modest proposal to build a real life Matrix for anyone left of center shouldn't go unheeded. It wouldn't be hard to figure out who belongs there, at 18 everyone takes a test with questions like:

"What's a four-letter profanity for money"

If your answer is "what?"...CONGRATULATIONS! You answered the question correctly and get to live in the real world.


If your answer is "capitalism"...CONGRATULATIONS! You answered the question correctly and get to spend a lifetime in the Matrix trying to bend "reality" to your liberal will.

I'm telling you, this is a great idea. Liberals get the control they've always wanted, and conservatives get the freedom mankind has always deserved.

You know, I've had a funny feeling for a while about this for a while, but he was killed a week before I was born. I'm not a big believer of reincarnation, but it may finally explain why I've always had the hots for Yoko Ono.

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Being A Liberal President Is Like Being A Crossing Guard, But Without The Leadership

David Brooks over at the New York Times thinks Obama's presidential style has made him a great Senate majority leader. Which I guess could be a great compliment, if you're a crossing guard.

That's not a shot at Obama, because a crossing guards are technically leaders too.

Calm down libs, its not like I said he was a patriot!

The public follows crossing guards out into oncoming traffic solely on the sense of hope they provide that it's safe to cross. So they never make that call unless its safe for them to cross too.

The stop signs they carry contain a message they intend for everyone else to follow but them. If nobody wants to listen to them then they'll just get run over, and there isn't anything they can really do about it.

Basically, crossing guards are the teleprompterless, underachieving, yet more successful step-cousin of Barack Obama.

One major difference I can think of is that crossing guards have more executive experience, they assess the situation on the street, make a judgement call, and then they just go for it. They don't confer with the kids and their parents. They don't think about it for 40 days or sleep on it (whichever ends first).

If a bunch of cars pile up in the intersection they definitely don't go off and play golf to clear their head.

Does that mean a good leader has to be a dictator? No, but we are facing problems that could end America as we know it, and right now crossing guards are more decisive than the President of the United States.

For starters, I'm going to go out on a limb and say they'd probably hold that stop sign up against our debt as it approaches the limit line.

They probably don't bow to foreign cars either.

Also, for crossing guards this....

....means "stop." For Obama it means "do I need a manicure Mahmoud?"

We should start having co-presidents, one can get things done and make decisions, and the other can bask in the glow of adoration and the medias flashing cameras until epilepsy sets in.

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Are There Too Many Foreigners In Britain? Survey Says...

h/t iOwnTheWorld

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A Texan That Offers A Helping Hand To A Terrorist And A Drug Runner

The best email I've seen in a while.

While hiking down along the border this morning, I saw a Muslim  extremist fall into the Rio Grande River; he was struggling to stay afloat  because of all the guns and bombs he was carrying.

Along with him was a Mexican who was also struggling to stay afloat because of the large  backpack of drugs that was strapped to his back. If they didn't get help they'd surely drown.

Being a responsible Texan, and law abiding citizen, I know I have to help those in distress.

I immediately informed the El Paso County Sheriff's Office and Homeland Security.

It is now 4 pm, both have drowned, and neither authority has responded.

I'm starting to think I wasted two stamps...

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