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The "Greater Good" Makes Republicans "Crazy"

Has the fight over the debt limit and tax hikes revealed to the country that Republicans are crazy? I guess. I mean, sane people agree that having debt means more money spent is greater than income. Only crazy people think that you get rid of debt by reducing how much you spend.

The sensible thing to do, obviously, is confiscate other people's money to paper over your irresponsibility their selfishness.

Republicans never want to do that, they like selfishness, and only crazy people think that's a good thing.

Freedom, selfish.

Liberty, selfish.

The pursuit of happiness, super selfish.

Do you know what's not selfish? The Greater Good, and that costs money, and the only money worth a damn is tax money.

Your money buys cars and homes that boil the planet. Tax money buys health care, and a modest retirement. If you work for the Greater Good then tax money gets a guaranteed job and awesome retirement, because you're delivering the Greater Good to everyone, so you get to have more of it.

Tax money also helps double the cost of stuff that boils the planet, so you wont do that to the Greater Good. This ensures the planet is saved because only a few people, like Al Gore, will be able to afford that stuff, and they can have it because they can pay for it while reminding everyone else THEY need to serve the Greater Good.


By the way that's not crazy because they're not Republican.

Tax money guarantees everyone gets the same life regardless of work. That's important, some people really can't work harder than others. Mostly for reasons that are no fault of their own, like, because they don't want to. Only crazy Republicans think that's bad.

Tax money basically makes sure you never have to do anything for yourself. After all the governm – er – Greater Good's prime directive is to take care of it's people. If you disagree then you're crazy.

The bottom line is basically that the Greater Good is like a ugly monster that wears a cute monster mask, and you have to take care of and feed before you selfishly take care of and feed yourself. It usually grows, and so does its appetite. In the unlikely event that it grows too big you may be unable to take care of yourself at all. If that happens and you try to selfishly put it on a diet then you'll find the Greater Good doesn't do diets (and that you're crazy), and it will eat you instead.

Ironically, a Greater Good that devours its selfish people is actually purging, and crazy people hate that too.

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The Only Use Obama Has For The Right In The Debt Talks

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We Have Sacrificed Liberty for (Social) Security

Obama can't promise Social Security checks will go out August 3.

I find it hard to believe the president can't promise to deliver a lousy paycheck to old people, it's not exactly brain surgery...and ObamaCare promises everyone that!

Won't this finally put truth to the lie (for liberals only, conservatives have always known) that this "safety net" isn't so pay-as-you-go after all?

Since George W. Bush became president the wars have cost just over a trillion, and if you wanted to accept the liberal line that tax cuts are all cost and no gain the Bush tax cuts "cost" just under 3 trillion. The rest of it (about $4 trillion) is promises government never intended to keep.

Even if we could wave a magic wand for liberals, and will away the wars and the tax cuts, the debt still would have increased by trillions, yet that's all they want to talk about is we wouldn't be in this mess but for George W. Bush.

PSSSH! We've sacrificed liberty for (social) security, and just like Benjamin Franklin promised we are now getting neither. This is what the country gets for trusting the snake oil of liberal fiscal floozies, and now their solution is to blame the victims for not forking over enough money.

If liberals want to prevent this fight from happening in the future they should brainwash kids into thinking that money packs on the calories and that we should leave the handling of it to them. After all, isn't that what Michelle Obama is doing to them with their diet?

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A Shovel Ready Job Obama Opposed?

That, and more from today's Newsbusted.

I've heard of the remake Jodi was talking about!!!

I actually just recently had a conversation with my wife about Welcome Back Kotter. She thought the title was "Carter." I only knew it wasn't because Gabe Kaplan was going to perform at a performing arts theatre I worked for years ago, and I learned about him when I was making the marketing materials for the show.

Obviously, we're not children of the 70's. I say that with as much longing as my daughter will lament that she has no recollection of Obama's presidency because she was barely 2 years old when he was dutifully replaced.

If you're offended by that because you thought the 70's were awesome, relax, it's just my opinion. So untwist your bell bottoms and go buy some real pants.

I wonder how many people who were around to vote for Carter actually voted for Obama. Those Charlie Browns must have the kind of PTSD that gives them seizures every time they watch football and see an attempt at a field goal by now.

h/t ThoseShirts for the image

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Everything Has To Be About Obama, Even A New Arctic Species

If you're having trouble reading it click the image to view a larger version.

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A Flow Chart To Help Better Understand Democrats

You can get this design on t-shirts (here) at my online store.

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Reasons People Should Be A Democrat

This is satire. I have to say that because I went to college, and I know it could very easily be mistaken as serious.

The video above is ostensibly a response to the video below, which is NOT is satire, and if I didn't tell you it would be impossible to know the difference.

My favorite lines are that a government is supposed to take care of it's citizens, and the girl whose grandfather pulled himself up by his own bootstraps, worked his tail off to attain the career of being an attorney, and then a judge, and then taught his granddaughter that there is 0.0000 inches of distance between him an a janitor.

You'll see no disagreement here, that is what their party is about.

Don't get me wrong, being a janitor is hard work because you have to scrub toilets all day long, but that doesn't take any education, anyone can do it.

To be a liberal attorney one goes through a grueling years long education of the law, because like every other profession that thrives on creativity, liberals have to know the rules before knowing how to break them.

That education comes in handy when the time comes for them to go to sleep, I'm assuming they develop the skills to scrub their minds clean in law school, and they're just as dirty as a toilet, if...not.....dirtier....

I kind of see what the girl is trying to say now. Notice how she used janitor as a point of comparison, and not a landscaper, or housekeeper, or burger flipper, or Forever 21 clothes rack jockey.

The only logical conclusion to be drawn from this is that those jobs are indeed better.

Thanks College Democrats, for demonstrating why I'm a conservative.

h/t Moonbattery for the videos.

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Maybe Obama Really Is The Liberal Messiah...

On the eve of a critical White House summit on the debt issue, Boehner (R-Ohio) told Obama that their plan to “go big,” in the speaker’s words, and forge a compromise that would save more than $4 trillion over the next decade, was crumbling under Obama’s insistence on significant new tax revenue.

From The Washington Post

For years liberals have been bent on applying messianic imagery to Obama...they can add this to their collection...

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Riddles About Liberals

Many of these have been inspired by previous writings. Some are totally new. Some are ones I probably haven't been the first one to think of, but they're all from me.

Fair warning, some are more R-rated than others. Click on "Answer" to reveal

If you have one put it in the comments!


If you're having the same problem seeing the answers as Stephany did in the comments. Click here to see a version of the post with the answers


Q: Which pick for VP is the only no-brainer for both parties?

Q: What do you get when you combine Joe Biden, fast food, and a 10 dollar bill?

Q: Why does Obama golf so much?

Q: What is the difference between Joe Biden's credit card and his library card?

Q: What kind of party will there be at the Ground Zero Mosque opening?

Q: What kind of cure, paradoxically, scares gay men to death?

Q: What is the one thing liberals need to sustain their dishonesty?

Q: What is the only thing lower than Obama's approval rate?

Q: Why did Biden think he was a member of the Tea Party?

Q: If liberals take what they love most, and switch the vowels, they'll get the home of who they hate most. What is the word?

Q: What do you get when you combine liberal ideas with Sham-wow?

Q: What did Tiger Woods blame his marital infidelity on most?

Q: What is the most vile four-letter profanity ever uttered on a Planned Parenthood operating table?

Q: How does Biden feel about legalizing gay marriage?

Q: Why is Obama so upset about 9% unemployment?

Q: Why should the constitution be required reading in Congress?

Q: Why didn't Anthony Weiner's wife leave him?

Q: When will Nancy Pelosi stop going green?

Q: What will Hillary Clinton be for the Halloween before the 2012 election?

Q: What did Al Gore call his love child with Mother Nature?

Q: A New York Times poll found 9 in 10 Tea Party members want to replace Obama in 2012. What do the 1 in 10 want?

Q: Even though it was unpopular in the polls, why did Obama insist on passing ObamaCare?

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Two Things We Learned From The Worsening Jobs Numbers

There are a couple of things we can glean from the latest jobs numbers...

  1. The old media must've started consuming more conservative new media, because not once did the New York Times say the numbers were "unexpected" or "surprising." They must know we've been calling them out on it, because you can only be surprised so many times before that kind of news puts you to sleep reading it after submitting a dozen resume's on Craigslist to employers who want 10 years of experience and will pay you a dollar an hour for each year you have under your belt.

    They did use "stunned" because oil prices went down = more jobs when you're an economist that hasn't seen the outside of a school in a long time. Granted, I was the exception to the rule that 30 cents a gallon less in gas did allow me to hire someone full time, with benefits, to watch my paychecks to them bounce so hard gravity said "ouch."

    Turns out lower gas prices didn't prevent me from overextending my efficacy to employ. If I held a phD in economics this would stun me.

  2. Plouffe! BE GONE!
  3. One of Obama's top guys, David Plouffe, said that unemployment wont be a factor in Obama's reelection. Romney says that he would've fired the guy for saying that.

    Pssh...Mormons...that's not even a real polical party. Can I get a hell yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi from my Libslamists?

    So jobs will have nothing to do with Obama losing next year, its nice to know the presidents coaches employ little league psychology in the Oval Office. Gold star sticker makers must be really hoping for an uptick in kids being potty trained, because the recession is going to hit them really hard if when Obama loses.
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