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More Reasons People Should Be A Democrat

A continuation of a post I did about Reasons People Should Be a Democrat. I found a few that the College Democrats missed....


I'm a Democrat because conservatives think God created man and as an artist I resent the competition.

I'm a Democrat because I like being the cause of an Obamanation.

I'm a Democrat because is Karl Marx is an intellectual immigrant who resides in my brain.

I'm a Democrat because I want to stop global warming so Obamanable Snowmen don't go extinct.

I'm a Democrat because hope is a four-letter word.

I'm a Democrat because bureaucratic inefficiency is a terrible thing to waste.

I'm a Democrat because toilet paper use should be limited to one square, even if we liberals need an entire roll sometimes.

I'm a Democrat because emo kids need a hero.

I'm a Democrat because the Toyota Prius needs a market.

I'm a Democrat because I believe the ACLU needs to ally itself with an organization less scandalous than NAMBLA, and we're the right men women people creatures women for the job.

I'm a Democrat because money isn't going to confiscate itself.

I'm a Democrat because I don't think debt is a four-letter word.

I'm a Democrat because of the party's clarity on how the right to marry should be extended to anyone who loves anyone, except polygamists, or small children, or most animals.

I'm a Democrat because fur is murder, and a human fetus doesn't have that, so viva Planned Parenthood!

I'm a Democrat because everyone with a gun should be a criminal, and cops are pigs.

I'm a Democrat because the Constitution is a living document and should be treated as such....and by our calculations it would probably be undeserving of care under the healthcare system we want to have.

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It Only Gets Worse If Accusations Of Stupidity Come From Biden

It's been a while since I've given Michael Ramirez props, this cartoon shows why he so richly deserves it...

See more of his work here.

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Is Independent Conservative Blogging Dead?

This post is going to be a bit of a departure from the days normal business of goofing on liberals, even if they never take a vacation from being goofy...

Today at Right Wing News John Hawkins (who shared my Obama baby picture I recently posted here) asks, and sort of answers a question that has loomed in my mind since The Looking Spoon started.

From today's post The Slow, Painful Coming Death Of The Independent, Conservative Blogosphere...

Bloggers have asked me: So what's the strategy to deal with this?

Really, it's simple: Get big or go home.

Find a way to dramatically increase the size of your blog, expand into multiple websites that together are big, hook up with someone who's already big, or accept that there isn't much of a future in a small, niche market for you. Maybe that sounds a little grim, but unless something changes, independent conservative bloggers who haven't already made it big don't have a bright future.

See the entire post, here

The reaction to this has been fairly mixed, but as one of those small blogs I see exactly what he's saying.

I work, I have a family, even if I had the resources to make and break news I don't have the time to devote to actually doing it. Thanks to skill sets not seen too much on the conservative side of thing, namely a sense of humor, and professional grade Photoshop skills, I've staked my claim on trying to become a kind of third rail (but in a good way) to the news blogs on one side, and the punditry on the other side of the tracks.

Truth be told my traffic isn't anything to write home about, but I most definitely have better numbers now than I did a year ago, which were much better from the year before that, but that's not saying too much either.

Given the total inability to compete with conservative blogs that break stuff faster than a liberal in charge of guarding the Constitution, I don't know if The Looking Spoon can or should continue in it's current form. The feeling that I got into the game a little too late haunts my sense of motivation to endure 4-5 hours of sleep (that are constantly interrupted by my baby daughter) every night.

That said, I'm not giving up.

I can't give up. Not because of pride, but because of a sense of duty to fight for preserving the identity that has made America great the only way I know how. The founding fathers had the Federalist Papers. Today, to the chagrin liberals, we have an internet that spawned modern day Paul Reveres in the form of conservative bloggers.

A few really bright lights are great and necessary, but (in my opinion) it needs the myriad of smaller lights to support it. If anyone doubts me just remember that in 2008 tens of millions of 40 watt bulbs (still waiting to be switched on) elected the biggest leadership head fakes this country has ever seen.

Or maybe they were more like moths to a nuclear flame, but then the points of light analogy falls apart unless I start saying the big conservative blogs are like big cans of Raid, but that type of imagery inspires as much hope for victory as an invitation to a White House fast food eating contest.

If for no other reason, smaller blogs are always needed, not only to let the voiceless know that they are not alone, but also to affirm there is nothing elite about conservatism, or the ability to give its message, that is or should be limited to the Townhalls or Redstates.

That may sound like pie in the sky idealism, but it's better than what I had before I started, which coincidentally shares its distinction with Emperor Obama's wardrobe....a whole lot of nothing.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have my next post to think about....those liberals aren't going to satirize themselves.

h/t iOwnTheWorld for the image.

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More Evidence Google Is In The Tank For Liberals

We know that the powers that be at Google are huge libs, and support Dems almost exclusively. I was curious to see what I would find if I Googled "Democraps," this is what came up...

Stop trying to "correct" me...Google...

I did that in the first place because I was particularly interested to see if I would find results for this post I did from last year that featured one of my new versions of the Democrats new logo...

Anyway, you can get Democraps t-shirts (here) and on stickers (here) at my online store.

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If The Boogeyman Was Republican, It Could Beat Obama

A new poll finds, again, that a generic Republican would be Obama next year.

The left's reaction to this will be typical....

"That right-wing conspiracy has that Scott Rassmussen guy locked in that crackpot John Hannity's basement. I might be atheist, but that doesn't mean we can't believe in Satan, and every time they put a poll out that "confirms" people don't like Obama one of his spawn gets wings.

Man, this already is a super unrealistic portrayal of liberals, I'm pretty sure Satan doesn't bother them....sorry, I'll keep trying...

The next thing you'll know Scott Assmuffin, (I know that's gaycist, but I can't help it), will probably say that Obama only got 53% of the vote in 2008, and everyone I know voted for him, so that's impossible. Why would anyone want to vote for a Republican after 8 years of Bush anyway, the only Bush I would vote for president is the one that gets to work spreading the wealth after burning her bra.

Basically these corporate teat sucking fetus loving sycophants want to fool the world into thinking that if the Boogeyman himself was Republican he could beat Obama.

What's that? No I'm pretty sure it's John Hannity, I know because my favorite blog at the Daily Kos said his name was John. Between that and the Daily Show who needs a corporatist enemy of the state like Faux News." Two sides to every story my foot, does a coin toss need two sides? Besides who doesn't use doubled headed coins these days?

Speaking of that, I'd tell you how I really feel about all of this, but I haven't turned on MSNBC yet.

The poll is from Gallup, but that's what they'll say.

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Biden's Gaffes, If You Can't Beat 'Em Then Tweet 'Em

That, and more from today's Newsbusted.

What would tweets from Biden look like?

    I'm ready to use my twitter, but I'm not seeing the girls #ThisIsaBFD?

    Oh, I get it now, I'm supposed to tell everyone my thots. Why is there a squiggly red line under "thots" #ThereItIsAgain

    Hey I can even tweet on the john?!? #Number2TakesaNumber2

    Holy crap these det talks are boring #YayForAngryBirds #TheresThatRedLineAgain

    Does anyone know how to spell GOP? #SpellingBee #HomeSchool #FifthGrader

    Teleprompter out sick, @barackobama is using and iPad app for that instead #MemorizingStuffIsGay

    @barackobama said I can't say things I don't like are "gay" #ThatsRetarded

    Now @barackobama is mad at me for saying "retarded" and that I have to find another way to put it #HopeAndChange

    Embarrassing? Well, maybe if @barackobama would follow me back I could send private messages instead #StupidMarxist

    Who is Andrew Cuomo? #ruhroh

I would follow that. Speaking of which follow me on Twitter, will ya?

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Will America Realize What It Punished Itself With?

If you don't know the 2008 Obama gaffe this references see it here.


I've seen a lot of feedback about people wanting to print this piece out. If you want a printable version of this it's now available.

High quality pdf

Low quality pdf

Here is a textless version for those I've seen out there who say they want it to be your wallpaper.

High resolution

Low resolution

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Dear Obama, How Am I Over Thee? Let Me Count The Ways...

You can get this design on t-shirts (here) at my online store.

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Childish? I Know Liberals Are, But What Is Cantor?

I've been bracing for a tear in the space time continuum that comes when any liberal accuses anyone of being childish, like Harry Reid has done with Eric Cantor. I guess I'm relying on the same science that proves the globe's thermostat is out of control.

Part of me wants to defer to Reid on this since he has so much experience being childish when he equated opponents of ObamaCare to antebellum slave owners, or when he said Obama could easily flip the switch on which accent?

To make matters worse, he was piling on top of what Chuck Schumer, OF ALL PEOPLE, was saying about Cantor. This is the same guy who mentored Anthony Weiner.

If guilt by association isn't your cup of tea then, this is the same guy who called a flight attendant a "bitch" for having the temerity to do her job and make him hang up his cellphone during takeoff.

Why was Eric Cantor childish? Well, because he "made" Obama walk away from debt negotiations. The President of the United States finally takes a powder from being spectator-in-chief to get his hope-lotioned hands dirty, cries about how EVEN REAGAN wouldn't have to put up with herding cats, takes his ball and goes home.

And the Republican is childish.

A tangled slinky is less twisted than that logic. This would be the first time in history where if Cantor retorted "I know you are but what am I" and nobody would think he was being childish.

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Things That Make Obama Cry

There's a new Twitter hashtag game, #MakesObamaCry. I haven't played in a while, below are some of my entries.

We know calling his bluff #MakesObamaCry...what else?


When the store is out of Virginia Slims #MakesObamaCry

Triple bogeys on a par 5 #MakesObamaCry

No money for unemployment checks in 2013 #MakesObamaCry

No parties to go to during a crisis? #MakesObamaCry

Sarah Palin's bigger balls #MakesObamaCry

Settling for "Obama-BIDEN 2012" #MakesObamaCry

Having the King Midas touch, but everything becomes s**t #MakesObamaCry

Bowling without bumpers #MakesObamaCry

Apple wont sell iPods that include his speeches and it #MakesObamaCry

The pledge of allegiance #MakesObamaCry

Landing into a sand trap that isn't called Libya #MakesObamaCry

A moving tribute to Karl Marx #MakesObamaCry

Faking Christianity #MakesObamaCry

Telling the truth #MakesObamaCry

When the teleprompter wants to see other politicians it #MakesObamaCry

Having the nickname "Uncle Sham" #MakesObamaCry

Michelle on top #MakesObamaCry

Being mistaken for a community organizer and not a commie-unity organizer #MakesObamaCry

A #GOP House not letting him deliver on "read my lips, mo' new taxes" #MakesObamaCry

Realizing Helen Thomas could be one of his 72 virgins #MakesObamaCry


Here are some of my favorites from others at twitter...

American exceptionalism #MakesObamaCry

Being punished with a baby #MakesObamaCry

His half-white side #MakesObamaCry

Constitutional Limits #MakesObamaCry

Nancy Pelosi's Breath #MakesObamaCry

Wealth unspread #MakesObamaCry



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