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Dear Obama, How Am I Over Thee? Let Me Count The Ways...

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Childish? I Know Liberals Are, But What Is Cantor?

I've been bracing for a tear in the space time continuum that comes when any liberal accuses anyone of being childish, like Harry Reid has done with Eric Cantor. I guess I'm relying on the same science that proves the globe's thermostat is out of control.

Part of me wants to defer to Reid on this since he has so much experience being childish when he equated opponents of ObamaCare to antebellum slave owners, or when he said Obama could easily flip the switch on which accent?

To make matters worse, he was piling on top of what Chuck Schumer, OF ALL PEOPLE, was saying about Cantor. This is the same guy who mentored Anthony Weiner.

If guilt by association isn't your cup of tea then, this is the same guy who called a flight attendant a "bitch" for having the temerity to do her job and make him hang up his cellphone during takeoff.

Why was Eric Cantor childish? Well, because he "made" Obama walk away from debt negotiations. The President of the United States finally takes a powder from being spectator-in-chief to get his hope-lotioned hands dirty, cries about how EVEN REAGAN wouldn't have to put up with herding cats, takes his ball and goes home.

And the Republican is childish.

A tangled slinky is less twisted than that logic. This would be the first time in history where if Cantor retorted "I know you are but what am I" and nobody would think he was being childish.

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Things That Make Obama Cry

There's a new Twitter hashtag game, #MakesObamaCry. I haven't played in a while, below are some of my entries.

We know calling his bluff #MakesObamaCry...what else?


When the store is out of Virginia Slims #MakesObamaCry

Triple bogeys on a par 5 #MakesObamaCry

No money for unemployment checks in 2013 #MakesObamaCry

No parties to go to during a crisis? #MakesObamaCry

Sarah Palin's bigger balls #MakesObamaCry

Settling for "Obama-BIDEN 2012" #MakesObamaCry

Having the King Midas touch, but everything becomes s**t #MakesObamaCry

Bowling without bumpers #MakesObamaCry

Apple wont sell iPods that include his speeches and it #MakesObamaCry

The pledge of allegiance #MakesObamaCry

Landing into a sand trap that isn't called Libya #MakesObamaCry

A moving tribute to Karl Marx #MakesObamaCry

Faking Christianity #MakesObamaCry

Telling the truth #MakesObamaCry

When the teleprompter wants to see other politicians it #MakesObamaCry

Having the nickname "Uncle Sham" #MakesObamaCry

Michelle on top #MakesObamaCry

Being mistaken for a community organizer and not a commie-unity organizer #MakesObamaCry

A #GOP House not letting him deliver on "read my lips, mo' new taxes" #MakesObamaCry

Realizing Helen Thomas could be one of his 72 virgins #MakesObamaCry


Here are some of my favorites from others at twitter...

American exceptionalism #MakesObamaCry

Being punished with a baby #MakesObamaCry

His half-white side #MakesObamaCry

Constitutional Limits #MakesObamaCry

Nancy Pelosi's Breath #MakesObamaCry

Wealth unspread #MakesObamaCry



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The "Greater Good" Makes Republicans "Crazy"

Has the fight over the debt limit and tax hikes revealed to the country that Republicans are crazy? I guess. I mean, sane people agree that having debt means more money spent is greater than income. Only crazy people think that you get rid of debt by reducing how much you spend.

The sensible thing to do, obviously, is confiscate other people's money to paper over your irresponsibility their selfishness.

Republicans never want to do that, they like selfishness, and only crazy people think that's a good thing.

Freedom, selfish.

Liberty, selfish.

The pursuit of happiness, super selfish.

Do you know what's not selfish? The Greater Good, and that costs money, and the only money worth a damn is tax money.

Your money buys cars and homes that boil the planet. Tax money buys health care, and a modest retirement. If you work for the Greater Good then tax money gets a guaranteed job and awesome retirement, because you're delivering the Greater Good to everyone, so you get to have more of it.

Tax money also helps double the cost of stuff that boils the planet, so you wont do that to the Greater Good. This ensures the planet is saved because only a few people, like Al Gore, will be able to afford that stuff, and they can have it because they can pay for it while reminding everyone else THEY need to serve the Greater Good.


By the way that's not crazy because they're not Republican.

Tax money guarantees everyone gets the same life regardless of work. That's important, some people really can't work harder than others. Mostly for reasons that are no fault of their own, like, because they don't want to. Only crazy Republicans think that's bad.

Tax money basically makes sure you never have to do anything for yourself. After all the governm – er – Greater Good's prime directive is to take care of it's people. If you disagree then you're crazy.

The bottom line is basically that the Greater Good is like a ugly monster that wears a cute monster mask, and you have to take care of and feed before you selfishly take care of and feed yourself. It usually grows, and so does its appetite. In the unlikely event that it grows too big you may be unable to take care of yourself at all. If that happens and you try to selfishly put it on a diet then you'll find the Greater Good doesn't do diets (and that you're crazy), and it will eat you instead.

Ironically, a Greater Good that devours its selfish people is actually purging, and crazy people hate that too.

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The Only Use Obama Has For The Right In The Debt Talks

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We Have Sacrificed Liberty for (Social) Security

Obama can't promise Social Security checks will go out August 3.

I find it hard to believe the president can't promise to deliver a lousy paycheck to old people, it's not exactly brain surgery...and ObamaCare promises everyone that!

Won't this finally put truth to the lie (for liberals only, conservatives have always known) that this "safety net" isn't so pay-as-you-go after all?

Since George W. Bush became president the wars have cost just over a trillion, and if you wanted to accept the liberal line that tax cuts are all cost and no gain the Bush tax cuts "cost" just under 3 trillion. The rest of it (about $4 trillion) is promises government never intended to keep.

Even if we could wave a magic wand for liberals, and will away the wars and the tax cuts, the debt still would have increased by trillions, yet that's all they want to talk about is we wouldn't be in this mess but for George W. Bush.

PSSSH! We've sacrificed liberty for (social) security, and just like Benjamin Franklin promised we are now getting neither. This is what the country gets for trusting the snake oil of liberal fiscal floozies, and now their solution is to blame the victims for not forking over enough money.

If liberals want to prevent this fight from happening in the future they should brainwash kids into thinking that money packs on the calories and that we should leave the handling of it to them. After all, isn't that what Michelle Obama is doing to them with their diet?

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A Shovel Ready Job Obama Opposed?

That, and more from today's Newsbusted.

I've heard of the remake Jodi was talking about!!!

I actually just recently had a conversation with my wife about Welcome Back Kotter. She thought the title was "Carter." I only knew it wasn't because Gabe Kaplan was going to perform at a performing arts theatre I worked for years ago, and I learned about him when I was making the marketing materials for the show.

Obviously, we're not children of the 70's. I say that with as much longing as my daughter will lament that she has no recollection of Obama's presidency because she was barely 2 years old when he was dutifully replaced.

If you're offended by that because you thought the 70's were awesome, relax, it's just my opinion. So untwist your bell bottoms and go buy some real pants.

I wonder how many people who were around to vote for Carter actually voted for Obama. Those Charlie Browns must have the kind of PTSD that gives them seizures every time they watch football and see an attempt at a field goal by now.

h/t ThoseShirts for the image

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Everything Has To Be About Obama, Even A New Arctic Species

If you're having trouble reading it click the image to view a larger version.

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A Flow Chart To Help Better Understand Democrats

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Reasons People Should Be A Democrat

This is satire. I have to say that because I went to college, and I know it could very easily be mistaken as serious.

The video above is ostensibly a response to the video below, which is NOT is satire, and if I didn't tell you it would be impossible to know the difference.

My favorite lines are that a government is supposed to take care of it's citizens, and the girl whose grandfather pulled himself up by his own bootstraps, worked his tail off to attain the career of being an attorney, and then a judge, and then taught his granddaughter that there is 0.0000 inches of distance between him an a janitor.

You'll see no disagreement here, that is what their party is about.

Don't get me wrong, being a janitor is hard work because you have to scrub toilets all day long, but that doesn't take any education, anyone can do it.

To be a liberal attorney one goes through a grueling years long education of the law, because like every other profession that thrives on creativity, liberals have to know the rules before knowing how to break them.

That education comes in handy when the time comes for them to go to sleep, I'm assuming they develop the skills to scrub their minds clean in law school, and they're just as dirty as a toilet, if...not.....dirtier....

I kind of see what the girl is trying to say now. Notice how she used janitor as a point of comparison, and not a landscaper, or housekeeper, or burger flipper, or Forever 21 clothes rack jockey.

The only logical conclusion to be drawn from this is that those jobs are indeed better.

Thanks College Democrats, for demonstrating why I'm a conservative.

h/t Moonbattery for the videos.

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