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A Modest Proposal to Revive Obama's Branding

USA Today has an article about the need for Obama to revive his brand for the 2012 election. He lost control of it.

I'm not quite sure what that means....

But he needs to find a way to trick people again, and being half way done with his first term, "change" ain't gonna do it for him, because he'd either be asking us to change from him, or asking us to fork over what's left of our money to him.

This was inevitable. The entire campaign was built on a bill of goods, and while conservatives knew back then his rhetoric couldn't deliver results (back then = Karl Marx's birthday) the "no-news junkies" in this joint we call America are starting to figure it out.

If Obama needs a rebrand that will reenergize the country after he powered them in 2009 with a half dead battery, then I have a modest proposall that he goes with what has truly always

It works because in the end he's really selling a lifestyle, and nothing makes wallowing in the left's fecal politics more appealing than naked chicks who dig it.

Does PETA send in the army of unshaven, birkenstock-clad, foot soldiers when they want people to crave vegan food? No! They send in the hot naked chicks to convince people that delicious A1 should really be nothing more than a BINGO square at the Biden household.

Sex works. No other brand will get you the recognition you need better. Think about how until last week only hard-core political junkies and his constituents knew who Anthony Weiner was. Now the question on the lips of the formerly ignorant isn't who he is, but why the news media keeps forgetting to tell us his last name.

This could be a real coup for presidential politics. Instead of putting time, effort, and money into faking substance you could just send out girls who wear nothing except Obama 2012 stickers over their nipples

Ok, not her....

Really though, think about makes sense. Just imagine all of the double entendre and/or innuendo-filled slogans that can fuel a campaign that breaks all the rules like it did in 2008....


    Nobody whacks balls more...

    I'm not calling at 3AM to give you hope.

    Taking Responsibility: I like big BUTS and I cannot lie...

    Who wants four more years of me hikin' taxes and bashin' Bush?

    Havin' a 3-way with the Nanny and The State

    The economy is giving me flacid flashbacks.

    Your mom....I'd tax that.

    From Capitalism to Communism: I'll take America to Viagra Falls

    Ask your psychiatrist if you suffered from Premature Immaculatation.

Sure these slogans are more honest than they are flattering, but thats ok because sex clouds our ability to judge anyway. If it didn't we'd be saying "former" Congressman Weiner by now.