Other than knowing it was pretty much started on a dare to L. Ron Hubbard, my understanding of the Church of Scientology is that I don't have any. None. It doesn't make any sense. Its illogical, and just because a bunch of celebrities flock to it for attention doesn't mean it deserves a seat at the religious roundtable.
In light of all of that, it's clear to me that Donald Trump is Republican Scientology, and I think it was born in a similar way....
Trump was sitting with some friends in a Manhattan penthouse one night a few weeks ago playing a drinking game where they have to take a shot every time someone mentions something good Obama has done.
After two hours of playing, the stone sober idiots decide to play catch up by shotgunning cans of whiskey (they exist). They succeed fabulously, and the members of the party not hooking up with his gold plated toilets proceed with other drinking games.
In a moment of drunken zeal Trump interrupts his turn during "charades," where he and his combover were doing a fantastically accurate impression of a bald Cousin It, to start an impromptu brainstorming session with the party on how to get taken more seriously.
Apparently the fragrance of C-list celebrity he has been wafting on himself since the first season of Celebrity Apprentice isn't filling his "serious" void. Thus he decides, drunkenly, that he needs a real challenge.
He takes a lot of suggestions that sound pretty good, but because everyone is too drunk the slurring is actually quite indecipherable to the sober ear. Frustrated, he walks to his hall of mirrors (having one is an unwritten requirement of being a legitimate billionaire narcissist), looks up at the mirror and sees his reflection through the strands of hair. Suddenly someone says...
I dare you to run for president with your checkered marital past and that silly hair....
to party attendee Newt Gingrich...but that was happening in the other room, and the Donald, naturally, assumed the person was referring to him.
So the damage is done, the race is on, and now the Republicans catapulting this doof into second place in the polls better be ready to explain to the country how this is different from the cult of personality that got Obama elected.Add a comment
Talk about going from worst president ever to first president ever to cry about the "downsides."
President Barack Obama wants you to know that he is not a golf addict.
He spends so much time unwinding on the links because security restrictions mean he can't go out for long walks or go to the carwash or the grocery store.....
"I just miss - I miss being anonymous," he said at the meeting in the White House. "I miss Saturday morning, rolling out of bed, not shaving, getting into my car with my girls, driving to the supermarket, squeezing the fruit, getting my car washed, taking walks. I can't take a walk."
Get the full story here
This guy is one of the most well traveled presidents we've had, and he feels restricted in his freedom to move?!?
They would've literally eaten W alive if he pulled a stunt like taking a trip to Brazil the day after we invaded Iraq, but Obama gets fluff pieces like this in order to humanize him in a way that they never afford Republicans.
What a disingenuous piece of work. Who runs for president with concern about losing their "anonymity?" Especially this guy.
By the way, I don't have a problem with journalism trying to humanize him, he is human after all...
....Maybe someone should hook Marvin up with Donald Trump.
Anyway, I know this all sounds REALLY insensitive, but remember the scorekeeping the media kept on how many times Bush decided he wanted to work at his ranch in Crawford, and they ruthlessly made him look like President Vacation?
More tee times, higher deficits, faster debt stacking, higher rates of administration turnover, more blaming, worse response to gulf coast crises, he's more like a citizen of the world, and now vacationing...does Obama have to outdo Bush in everything?
I don't want to be too discouraging about all of this, so I came up with one of those "remotivational" posters to help lift the president's spirits and put things in perspective...
I have to admit....That Marvin the Martian "toon" is definitely one of my weirdest yet. :-/Add a comment
If you've been waiting for the "progressive" answer to Paul Ryan the Congressional Progressive Caucus has a report, The People's Budget, that should wet your sickle (click the image to see the report it comes from). It's not going anywhere, but gazing upon it is still a recommended educational experience.
I like this plan, it reminds me of the saying if you dig a hole too deep you might end up in China. To me the kids that really go for it because they think it actually works are role models in perseverance. It's important to nurture that kind of drive, because they have to lose it at forty if they don't want to fall victim to the ghost of that cranial bandit Winston Churchill.
“If you're not a liberal at twenty you have no heart, if you're not a conservative at forty you have no brain.”
A more cynical person would call a serious effort made to dig to China ignorance, or if the person digging is an adult...insanity. To say either would be pretty
rude true. Or maybe this is just a case of seeing the impossible and asking why not? After all, Alice kind of did it when she went to Wonderland, a place that in my mind strikes an uncanny resemblance to China in that both are ruled by a Red Queen.
That said, what do normal people do when they find themselves spending more than they take in? I would love to tell you it's nothing a scanner and Photoshop can't fix, but doing hard time is not money, so I'll just have to level with you and say THEY SPEND LESS.
I know this point highlights the root of the irreconcilable differences in the philosophy behind Paul Ryan's budget and how progressives think tax dollars should be prioritized. Which, in a nut shell, is the battle between who gets to use your money, you or government. Regardless of the "winner" of that battle, the fact remains nothing other than cutting down spending can remedy the structural problem that causes debt.
Since that is the condition of the people, their budget should probably live in that reality. Therein lies the rub...
When it comes to economics the progressive mind functions like a solar powered calculator in an Alaskan December. Their budget makes a huge assumption that taxes can be raised in a vacuum, meaning people won't modify their behavior in ways that stymie economic activity to the point where the revenues projected from the tax increase never even materialize. Then we have to put up with New York Times articles detailing "unexpected" budget shortfalls that deepen the deficit rather than "fix it."
Raising taxes with a mentality that addressing spending is never on the table (The ONLY exception in this budget is, of course, gutting defense. Maybe progressives should actually
visit move to China and rethink that brilliant idea) does nothing to guarantee that we wont have this problem again. To do it in the difficult economic times we are in now is tantamount to a shovel ready job like digging 'til you reach...um...China.
By the way, China, I know President Hu Jintao is not really a queen in any sense of the word, because Obama bowed to him instead of giving him a iPod full of his speeches, can I show up on your search engines now?Add a comment
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So liberals are pretty peeved about the votes that were found in the Wisconsin Supreme Court race that kept the apparently conservative Justice David Prosser in his seat.
Obviously the election was stolen because the liberal candidate JoAnne Kloppenberg, had already declared victory, even though her 200 vote lead would have guaranteed a recount, to say nothing of the lagging absentee count...but she said!
This highlights two things that stuck out in my mind. One proof that an election is stolen from liberals lies basically in whether or not they lost.
They damn well know how elections get stolen...over the course of numerous recounts where a trickle of votes are "found" over the course of weeks and months. David Copperfield's got nothing on the magical powers of a liberal election clerk. Those witches and wizards are the only ones capable of turning Al Franken into
the honorable Senator Al Franken.
The time frame and coordination required to make this happen as quickly as it did just isn't possible, especially if you want to believe the record of incompetence that follows the Waukesha County Clerk to this discovery.
They tried this with Bush too, when he wasn't too dumb to fling his own poo he was masterminding the 9/11 attacks. They always want it both ways, and I suggest they take up bisexuality.
The second thing that jumps out is how naked their thirst for judicial activist power has been. Their protests and bongos and smelly fingered peace signs didn't stop Scott Walker.....weird. So they were counting on Kloppenburg to win one for the dippers.
They were COUNTING on her! Democrats don't count anything...have you seen the budgets they make? If this doesn't say something about their abject hatred of our system I don't know what does.
I don't live in Wisconsin, so I don't know how this is truly going to end, but these last few months of liberal thuggery and childishness have shown more than ever that they are "patriots" of something, it's just nothing that resembles anything American.
Which leads me to my modest proposal. I call it the Indian Casino solution.
Basically, we give liberals San Francisco, and they can do anything they want with it...ANYTHING.
Any conservatives that bumbled their way into the city in the first place have one week to leave, and then they are officially on foreign soil, and only true liberals are allowed in.
Any liberals who are so unhappy with America that they'd rather leave than fight for their point of view in an honest way are welcome to leave for citizenship to Mecca West.
Just know that if you want to come back into the United States you will now be required to present a passport to our armed border guards...and you'd better have a damn good reason for coming in to the country because the following won't be accepted:
That's a partial list. FYI, one reason for admission that will grant entry, no questions asked, is "seeks job as exhibit in zoo."Add a comment
I'm not going to lie...this story totally snuck up on me....
Wisconsin Supreme Court Justice David Prosser took a significant lead in his re-election bid Thursday when the clerk of a conservative-leaning county reported she failed to count the ballots from a wealthy suburb west of Milwaukee.
The 7,500 vote swing immediately generated charges of fraud and partisanship in a high-profile race that has become a referendum on Republican Gov. Scott Walker after he championed a law curtailing the organizing rights of public employee unions. Wisconsin has since become the focal point of a national battle between Republican governors and labor groups.
The developments Thursday dealt a blow to the hopes of the Democrat-backed challenger JoAnne Kloppenburg, who was leading Mr. Prosser by 200 votes before the discrepancy Waukesha County was detected. Nearly 1.5 million ballots were cast in an election that set records for spending and nearly doubled expected turnout.
From the Wall Street Journal
Before this discrepancy was found Kloppenberg, who should know better, gave herself a victory lap...
“We owe Justice Prosser our gratitude for his more than 30 years of public service. Wisconsin voters have spoken and I am grateful for, and humbled by, their confidence and trust. I will be independent and impartial and I will decide cases based on the facts and the law. As I have traveled the State, people tell me they believe partisan politics do not belong in our Courts. I look forward to bringing new blood to the Supreme Court and focusing my energy on the important work Wisconsin residents elect Supreme Court justices to do.”
If the link suddenly...dies...you can catch a screenshot of their gloating at The Blaze
In light of these developments and my tardiness to them, let me be the last to say...
Add a comment
Apparently the GOP has a bit of a 2012 Dukakis problem on its hands. Everyone is either boring or unattractive, or too in bed with the conservative elites. And therefore no matter how much they trounce Obama on the issues, or his lack of a record worth mentioning in a reelection campaign, their leg tingles will pull the lever for the president because his smile is nicer.
That's what the New York Times says anyway. It's nice that they're looking out for our side. That must mean Obama has all his ducks in a row to cruise to reelection.
Or it means for two years we've had a president who treats the office like it's his personal sabbatical from life. When the going gets tough his duff got going on vacation more than a terminal cancer patient.
The country and world have taken notice, so I don't know how much charisma you need to effectively make the case that we elected Clark Griswold in 2008.
Sure nobody is, indeed, excited about our starting line up so far. Maybe that's because they haven't done a whole bunch of anything excitable....like campaigning, or fundraising, or advertising, and nobody has changed their skin to look like a minority.
Now that the cat's kind of out of the bag I guess I should confess that's the GOP candidate I really want to vote for is the one who abandons their anglo-roots. More than positions on the issues I want to vote for the person that wont get me labeled racist if I don't vote for them.
Does this mean I could vote for Obama if the other other white meat is his challenger next year? That depends on how black the media wants to make him....in 2008 it was pretty black, like a black hole black, and not even light (or Obama's white half) can escape that kind of gravitational pull, only racism can....and I'm not racist so...
Wait...Did I just talk myself into rationalizing the GOP is doomed without a crack makeup artist and tons of shoe polish?
Maybe I can get a job at the New York Times.Add a comment
A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I started thinking I could make this work with liberalism...
Obama always scores low on the links, especially the links between terror and radical Islam.
Bill Clinton isn't a better womanizer than a man who chooses to be liberal.
Harry Reid used to be a boxer, Barbara begged him not to take his wife's name.
Socialism could work if its beneficiaries would.
The effects of global warming are catostrophic for the ecosystems of the ice age.
Ring around the Rosie looks fun, until you realize O'Donnell is stuck in the hula hoop.
Biden didn't plagiarized, he bought another person's words with his presidential electability.
A "teachable moment" always fails because the person declaring it is the one in need of the lesson.
Atheists don't believe in God, and they do so faithfully.
If Biden's mouth moves faster than his brain, then a glacier would place second in a three-way race.
The bad economy forces people to take staycations from work, and President Obama needs a staycation for work.
Political mandates represent a conflict of interest for Barney Frank.
Global warming is caused by hot air, Al Gore is full of hot air, therefore Al Gore causes global warming.
Community organizing grants leadership experience necessary to help children cope with too many Legos.
Toiletries are accessories for bathrooms, not bathrooms for hippies.
Life begins at conception, liberalism begins at deception, Obama's crisis response begins at cocktail reception.
Jokes about Pelosi's botox are getting to be a bit older than she looks.
Sometimes the brightest ideas come when times are darkest. Alas, Obama is a half-white dimwit.
If life isn't fair, how is socialism?Add a comment
Liberal websites are popping champaigne at the "demise" of Glenn Beck's daily Fox News show. Their gloating is puzzling because even though his audience numbers were in decline he was still whooping all of the competition, easily...and he didn't even have a prime time slot.
If competition in cable news were little league the mercy rule would be issued half way through the national anthem being sung before the start of the game.
I know this is a crappy analogy because it's pretty clear Fox News's "baseball teams" shouldn't really be mixing with the CNN/MSNBC Bad News Bears of tee ball...but here we are, trying to provide some perspective to the gloat parade over at sites like Think Progress and Media Matters.
Am I trying to say that Beck's methods were orthodox, HA! It's actually why I liked him. That and his recognition that the true root of the nation's troubles aren't political, but spiritual, are why he's got me hooked. That's a fresh, honest perspective you don't get much anywhere else. He'll continue to bring it too, just not at Fox.
But now that he has a shrunken media footprint, I think a lot of people will go on a much-deserved Beck Vacation, and maybe never return.... he's a greatly diminished national presence for those who aren't "Insider Extreme" members at glennbeck.com. Which is a blessed, blessed thing.
Three times as many people listen to him on the radio than Fox News AND he's got more going on the side than a flee circus using one of Michael Moore's rolls as a tent. This highlights the derraingement liberals suffer with Fox News, as if they "made" the man.
That seems to be a nasty habit of liberals, they attack personality rather than the merits of argument. That's why everyone they hate gets the boogeyman treatment. You know who's afraid of boogeymen....children.
Know who else is? That was about it. Basically, liberals talk to us like we're children.
You know who talks to adults like children....children. Know who else does? That's right, nobody.
Liberals are just a bunch of big diaperless babies, and this announcement about Beck is nothing more than dangling keys in their face so they have a reason to wet their bibs about a man, who on his worst day, makes all of his liberal competition look like a bunch of Waynes World wannabes.Add a comment
Weird way to put it, I know....but it feels appropriate after the reaction to Ryan's Wall Street Journal editorial and budget coming out party.Add a comment
Who the hell does this Paul Ryan guy think he is? We were doing fine until he came out with this nonsense in the Wall Street Journal.
This was the Democrats Sputnik moment, the United States has been a world leader in a lot of things, but not nation ending debt. I'd love to say what happened in Greece put them in a cold sweat, but pigs can't sweat so they really had to get to work building up our debt because it's all about USA 'til YOU CAN'T PAY.
I wonder how George Stephanopolous and Arianna Huffington feel about all of this. Are they torn between their Greek homeland and the rush of the U.S. finally regaining its ability to crush the competition at something? Whose side will they fall on in the Great Waste Race.
And what about innovation? Yes we can, win the future of defaulting with the same old hackneyed welfare state pump up, but if Obama wants to walk the talk he'll need to come up with some more creative ways to piss away our fiscal integrity. This doesn't have to be an end unto itself either, there are ways to do this that help realize other "progressive" wet dreams to become reality.
We could retrofit our money printers with a nozzle that blasts the money into the air, transport it to a cruise ship, and sail the arctic. If we don't "go green" restoring balance to the climate by blocking out the sun, we do it by making Greenland live up to its name with greenbacks.
We could do away with all light bulbs by mandating a return of torches fueled with gas soaked money.
We could encase Paul Ryan in a paper mache tomb, using only $100 bills, not unlike the size and scope of the Egyptian pyramids. Pending a successful outcome this process can be expanded to include all conservatives in the country.
Those are just a few ideas off the top of my head. Just think of all the good ideas that Democrats could come up with behind closed doors and 2000 pages to work with.
One option not on the table is brainwashing Congressman Ryan into becoming a fellow liberal. That option doesn't actually waste any money, much less even spend enough to beat Greece.Add a comment
Click the image to see a larger version.Add a comment
Bill Clinton is confident that a government shutdown will only hurt the GOP. I'm betting he's basing this on the "fact" that the 1995 shutdown is credited with saving his presidency.
In other news a new poll shows people think the GOP is being seen as more reasonable in this budget fight.
I don't know why, but for some reason Democrats predict politics like they're sports statisticians. This can be a huge problem for them because precedent is meaningless when it has to answer to context.
Why is Obama not going to have the same good fortune?
His presidency runs on a parallel universe to the Clinton Administration of a generation ago. It was a completely different reality back then
We were high on life after beating the Soviets
The Internet was exploding the economy
Nobody could answer American power and it created a sense of invincibility
The media didn't have the stronger conservative voice that exists today
We had to invent grunge music to bring the good times back down to earth.
Obama has none of this, and the biggest difference of all is that the debt and deficits in the 90's were a small fraction of what they are now. He isn't winning the battle to make the GOP look like obstinate bean counters because we are now standing at the edge of a fiscal cliff and the fight now doesn't seem pointless.
This actually proves my long-standing belief that Democrats are literally a bunch of Looney Tunes. They're ready to let the deficits continue because they're not worried about taking us over the cliff so long as we don't look down.
This revelation explains everything! It's like Enchanted, only with Warner Brothers and insanity:
Barney Frank is really Elmer Fudd
George Stephanopolous is Tweetie Bird
Bill Clinton is Foghorn Leghorn
Chris Matthews is Daffy Duck without the Ritalin
Michelle Obama is Por....no, I'm not gonna say it
John Kerry is an unbathed Pepe Lepew
Michael Moore is the Tazmanian Devil after figuring out that he doesn't need to burn calories spinning his body (just the facts in his movies) to eat everything in sight
Joe Biden is the love child of Wile E Coyote and Sylvester the Cat
If you gave Yosemite Sam stilts and a razor for his moustache you get Janet Reno
President Obama is Marvin the Martian (which is why they can't find his birth certificate in Hawaii)
That's why they are completely unconcerned about our fiscal armageddon. They live in a world where tunnels are built by painting them on a wall, bombs only char the tips of your hair, an anvil to the head leaves a nasty bump, and none of that can possibly be less consequential than pissing away money trillions of dollars that don't exist in the first place.Add a comment
Last August I posted a list of Slogans for Obama's 2012 campaign, you can check them out here.
So lefties are all atwitter with Obama announcing his reelection campaign. Here's the kickoff where supporters gleefully proclaim how they can't wait to get started on the good work (as opposed to continuing it)...
He's the president, he wants to run again, and he's the biggest showman we've ever had in the office...so of course he's going to roll out the red carpet for himself. I know the video is meant to reflect humility and grassroots. It's all he has. I mean, come on..."It begins with us?"
The man is running for reelection, he shouldn't be BEGINNING anything because it begs the question "what were you doing for 4 years?"
Alright alright, enough carping about Obama's video. If I have to say anything positive it would be that I'm glad it didn't end up being a slide show of all the times he made par.
By the way, the NRSC came out with a video of their own that's a little more in touch with reality...
For the uninitiated, this is Markos Moulitsas (the Daily Kos guy), the Rush Limbaugh of "progressive" bloggers. This video is part of a series that was made back in 2008 "Failed Conservative Values." (Since I just found it - thanks iOwnTheWorld - let's talk about it now!)
I triple dog dare you watch this video in it's entirety...
If you checked out at 0:15 because you got nausea when Kos's eyes almost popped out when he started "thinking," all is forgiven. I personally had one of those "never again" moments, which then gave me PTSD flash backs to my first year away at college when I hooked up with a bottle of Bacardi.
This was worse. If you visit the IOTW link above you'll see two videos that are even more horrendous than this one.
Liberals spew a lot of garbage, and this was the worst kind. I call it styrofoam logic, because its not useful for very long, easily disposable, and because its not biodegradable throwing it away from the world just creates a landfills of intellectual garbage.
Oh, and it can't stand the heat, so a flame will easily vaporize it.
Kos said a lot, but the thesis, if it's even possible to assign one to this meandering rant, is "conservatives are delusional."
Conservatives want to shrink government, therefore they create a "sh*tty government" to manufacture the illusion it doesn't work so they can have an excuse to eliminate swatches of it?
That sounds a little convoluted, I'll rephrase it a bit and hopefully it will make more sense....
Conservatives, according to Kos, think there should be less government, so when the voters put them in charge of it they dazzle them with intentional incompetence in order to justify arguments to shrink it.
To prove this point Kos uses FEMA to remind the camera, and his imagination, that Bush succeeded in this goal by appointing someone not at all qualified to direct it, Mike Brown, who then went on to botch the handling of Hurricane Katrina.
As we all remember, Bush promply used this failure of government to disband FEMA (because he didn't want to let this crisis go to waste) and award Brown the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Democrats were left so speechless by this fantastically successful coup of conservatism that they were completely unable to use it against Bush or the GOP for the remainder of Bush's presidency. This cemented the reign conservative government shrinking terror in a way Harold Ramis and Disney could've never dreamed up when they teamed up to film "Honey I Shrunk The Kids."
Who is the one suffering delusion here?
This is one of the brightest becons of "progressive" intellect out there people! He just told you conservatives screw up ON PURPOSE to score ideological points. It doesn't get more illogical than that!
"Vote for us so we can bumble bureaucracy into oblivion."
What kind of reelection campaign message is that?!? Why would conservatives want to screw up only to provoke voters into vomiting them out of office, thus bringing in liberals who will go hog wild, like they did after 2008, and "undo" all the apparent progress that was made?
Circling back to Disney, where the heck were guys like Kos when Walt was trying to put together Fantasy Land? I mean, even Lewis Carroll would kill his buzz.
Conservatives don't wish to see a smaller scope of government for the sake of it. This belief stems from the notion that market driven solutions, spurred by competition, do more to improve lives and responsiveness to peoples' needs more than anything government can do. The superior results of this system, juxtaposed against a monopolistic bureaucratic system with no accountability because it has no higher power to be accountable to, is the 800 pound gorilla that the left ignores because THEY are the delusional ones.
All one has to do to understand this is true is compare their "customer" service experience at any private sector business against their interaction with any government agency. The result is something that has been such a truism for decades now that I could have rested my case there and saved myself a few hundred words.Add a comment