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When Voting For President...What Would Costanza Do?

It will be a long time before we will ever have another moment in politics where "I told you so" is so tangibly thick that you can cut it with a knife than the one conservatives gave the country 3 years ago when we warned Obama was the second coming of the messiah of bad presidents.

Or we could've just started with his bowling score

It's too bad we cant trade his popularity with our debt, because his numbers are dropping everywhere.

Now that we've gotten the budget out of the way, and the Dems basically won because they got to keep their deficit, we're on to the next fight. Election time!

Why not. People are throwing in, even Donald Trump wants to run, now he just needs to talk his hair into it.

Can you imagine Melania Trump as the first lady? She's probably pissed because she just wants to be left alone to do her thing as a rich New York house trophy wife, and the Secret Service can't hide her from the every attempt from the paparazzi recording the fact that she spends her days pampering herself at spas and walking red carpets. Then we would have debates over the legitimacy of making her FLOTUS cause the greater awareness for the Photoshopping of models, because her naturally 10 ass is tired of competing with the 6's and 7's that wouldn't even make the cover of Readers Digest before the dawn of the digital age.

Of course, if we the people want to go there we have to go through good 'ol Barack first. Which causes a dilemma for my brain, because even to the casual observer Obama looks presidential like a Big Mac looks medicinal.

This has caused the GOP to froth at the mouth like they're throwing a foam party, and now guys like Donald freakin' Trump, who hasn't even declared his candidacy, is being taken more seriously than the real deals out there.

I refuse responsibility for any need for therapy this might incur, but imagine if Obama is reelected....who we would look to for leadership in that point we'd be pretty desperate...

So can he win? I think he can, but it's most definitely the GOP's election to lose. Some on the right see it my way, others think it's not in the cards for the GOP in 2012.

The serious GOP candidates really need to start getting it together, because to win they need to go from un-Obama to the anti-Obama....don't just be the other guy, be everything he isn't and people will see how much better the stark contrast is from what we've got now and.................holy crap...............

I just realized a vote to put Trump in DC is like pulling a George Costanza when he started having good luck doing the opposite of every instinct he had....Trump is in no way shape or bank account the everyman presidents try to tell us they are, he has horrible horrible horrible hair, his (current) wife is a knockout, his mouth has no filter whatsoever, and he doesn't even care if it offends people. So he'll instantly reduce the deficit when we save money on his need for a PR staff.

With that kind of logic a vote for Snooki would be like taking our debt, doubling down, and winning...

Then again, we kind of went the Costanza route with Obama didn't we? I feel so lost...

Too bad Mary Poppins isn't real, if she was born here and eligible to run she'd be the perfect president because she's practically perfect in every way.

It would be a lot of fun to say President Poppins too.

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Biden Phones Prime Minister David Cameron

The latest addition to the "Biden the April Fool" collection of Biden toons...for this month only!

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My Ideas To Raise Revenue Without Hiking Taxes

Under the Obama tax plan, the Bush rates would be repealed for the top brackets. Yet the "cost" of extending all the Bush rates in 2011 over 10 years was about $3.7 trillion. Some $3 trillion of that was for everything but the top brackets—and Mr. Obama says he wants to extend those rates forever. According to Internal Revenue Service data, the entire taxable income of everyone earning over $100,000 in 2008 was about $1.582 trillion. Even if all these Americans—most of whom are far from wealthy—were taxed at 100%, it wouldn't cover Mr. Obama's deficit for this year.

More at the Wall Street Journal

This should put the lie to the liberal canard that the Bush tax cuts "for the rich" birthed the deficit. Like spilled milk liberals such as Nicholas Kristof are lapping up Obama's call to higher taxes, and I'm embarrassed for them.

That's a broad hint that one sensible way to overcome our difficulties would be to revert to tax rates more or less as they were under President Clinton. That single step would solve three-quarters of the deficit for the next five years or so.....

Yet even so, the Republican plan shows continuing budget deficits until the 2030s. In short, we can't plausibly slash our way back to solid fiscal ground. We need more revenue.

More at the New York Times

One fantastic way to not make that happen is to hike taxes in an economy like the one we currently have. Kristof makes a laughably feeble attempt to debunk this by using faulty cause/effect logic comparing the Clinton hike to the Bush cut (which is actually a different can of worms altogether), but you can't defy common sense that down or recovering economies don't bounce back with hiked taxation.

Furthermore, the annual "cost" of the tax cuts is, if you believe the Wall Street Journal, about $370 billion. Even if you wanted to accept the tax cuts contributed nothing to economic growth, and only added debt, lil' Nicky Kristof still has to come to grips with the fact that number is not anywhere near "three-quarters of the deficit problem" (I'm assuming he goes Nicky, because there's no silent "h" to trip him up like counting does, his editors are jazzing him up).

In honor of this downward spiral in what should be a nation saving discussion, here's a few ways we could "raise revenue" that make more sense:

    Sell Biden's head to science. Don't donate it...think of what the medical community would pay to find out how a human being can operate with a head that contains no brain.

    Double or nothing have Obama challenge everyone in China to a bow-a-thon

    Have the government put up Boehner's tears on eBay as "Crybaby eyedrops that melt Democrats"

    Develop a 21st century Manhattan Project that consists of an iPhone app that promises the secret to America's destruction that (unbeknownst to the buyer) crashes on startup, set the price at $14 trillion.

    Defund ObamaCare, but reinsert and enforce the botox tax fee. Also, leave in the tanning tax fee, if Snooki gets $30K speaking to students more educated than she is, then she can afford it.

    We could apply --> Biden's solution to the war on poverty <-- to the debt

    Auction all the booze Ted Kennedy left behind. (I'm not speaking ill of the dead, just the booze...if he didn't drink it then how bad was it? Even then imagine the money we'd rake in)

    Sell Government Motors to a third world country that really needs scrap metal

    Capitalize on the growing level of unhappiness with Obama by taxing putting a fee on it.

Or we could raise taxes, scratch our heads when the public adjusts their economic activity to "pay" for them, and then go with the next brilliant liberal idea of instantly closing a 14 trillion dollar gap by taxing everyone at 1000%.

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Do You Know How Hard It Is To Be Liberal?

This guy does...

Check out more of this guy at

h/t iOwnTheWorld

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Take Another Chance On Obama

I have a feeling I'm going to be doing a lot of "ads" in the next year and a half...

Click the image to view a larger version.

I used to help make the Monopoly cards, which saved a little bit of Photoshop work for me.

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Our Laws Have Nothing To Do With Your Pro-Choice Body

A companion to this post...

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A Modest Ultimatum for Planned Parenthood

Liberals were beside themselves that Speaker Boehner played chicken with a government shutdown over something as "petty" as funding Planned Parenthood. I can't believe liberals want to preserve the deficit by protecting such funding.

One of the problems the pro-life movement has in arguing with liberals over abortion is the ease with which they are able to muddle the moral bankruptcy of the procedure with circumstances that supposedly make pro-lifers look foolish on the matter of funding organizations like Planned Parenthood.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Abortions?

For instance, it's illegal for Planned Parenthood to use federal funds to pay for abortions. So right off the bat the GOP argument to defund is finished like my appetite at a PETA barbeque.

To ensure the law is followed there is a little fetus stamp that goes on every federal dollar they get. Every time they have to pay a bill related to abortion services they inspect every dollar bill for the stamp, if they spot it they have to set it aside and find a different dollar.

I'm sure that's exactly how Planned Parenthood handles their money, and that it's really nothing like if you melted chocolate bars and exlax in pan and the government expected you not to make chocolate bars using exlax...good luck.

Another argument liberals like Ezra Klein have been using is Planned Parenthood claims that 3% of all their activity are abortions So it's fallacious to marry them to abortion, even if they are the largest provider of them in the country.

According to their website abortion costs between $350-$950 in the first trimester. I don't know how they determine which end of the spectrum to charge. Maybe they do an ultrasound before hand to determine how precious the life they're about to mine out is.

Last year Planned Parenthood performed 332,278 abortions. So if we generously set aside the assumption that abortions in the second trimester are more than $950 we can conservatively estimate their average revenue from abortion procedures to be $650 a pop for a grand total of $215,980,700...about 20% of all revenue.

All work and no pay makes PP a private sector deal

Not a bad haul for it being only 3% of their overall workload. No wonder the government wants to help fund it.

By comparison, Media Matters gets a lower number (here) but they lower the average to $500 and arrive at 15%...still a fantastic payday for the amount of work done, even if it is underestimated.

In light of all of this here's my proposed ultimatum to Planned Parenthood that I wish our "leaders" would give:

    Perform abortions and forgo the more than $300 million per year they get from the American people, regardless of the fact the money isn't "used" for abortion. The boys scouts don't murder gay scout masters, they just exercise choice and "abort" their jobs in the organization, and that never stops liberals from calling for their defunding.

    So Planned Parenthood can do that, or they can take our money and end all abortion procedures.

It's pretty simple math, sacrifice $200 million, or $300 million. This shouldn't be too big of a deal, the people who perform abortions there sacrifice their decency on a daily basis, and how do you put a price on that?

Since we are running trillion dollar deficits I think that's a more generous offer than the one given to the lives they abort snuff out.

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"Progressive" Momma Grizzlies Protect Their Deficit

The fight over our debt and deficits leaves me bereft of words to describe my disgust of the left's contribution to "fixing" the problem. It's indisputable that something has to be done, and doofs like Senator Schumer can scream "extremism" all they want, but our fiscal armageddon wasn't on the agenda until the "extremists" were voted in.

For all their hatred of Palin, "progressives" sure do turn into momma grizzlies when Republicans attack our trillion dollar deficit.

    It's like we're rafting down an ever accelerating river with a group of friends, you see not too far up ahead that the group has a date with a steep waterfall.

    You kick in to action mode and direct everyone to start paddling the other direction in an effort to at least slow the pace so you can figure out what to do next to head in the other direction.

    "That's insanity" Says your friend who elected not to wear a life jacked, so he could show off his soaked and faded Obama '08 t-shirt.

    "Instead, why don't we vote to become further away from the edge than we are now every time we get close to it? That makes WAY more sense!"

Is it unrealistic to think the debt ceiling shouldn't be raised? Yeah probably, but the games "progressives" play trying to protect the very types of pet projects that are sending us down the road to fiscal ruin in the first place is shameful.

John Boehner got castigated by "progressives" for risking a government shutdown over Planned Parenthood.....why isn't the outrage the other way around?

How does Barack Obama risked a shutdown of the State Department, and the Military (or their pay at least), and federal law sustain a budget deficit that protects an abortion barn like Planned Parenthood sound?

That's where "progressive" prioritization of our money lies, but they don't want to talk about that. They'd rather live in the world where, if only the GOP would get out of the way, they can see if the rich would (forget could, THAT doesn't matter) pay for THEIR irresponsibility so they can go back to working their way up to nationalizing the air we breathe.

That's the only "argument" you get from them. Republicans in Congress, with their $175K salaries, are hell bent on protecting people who make $75K more and up...JUST BECAUSE.

Has anyone tried digesting the logic behind this OLD tactic? Why do we continue to give credence to a bunch of lazy, ambitionless socialists who have self-deputized themselves as officers in the Fairness Police? Do these Barney Fife wannabes think the George Soros's and Nancy Pelosi's who fund them share their goal of an egalitarian utopia?

We should preserve and nurture the conditions necessary to become financially successful, that's impossible to do if we obsess over tearing rich people down.

That's bad enough on its own, but to tie their taxation to the reckless spending of the government like they owe us is, like I said at the beginning, beyond words.

It's hard to imagine a way out of our mess when one side of our leadership is more concerned about punishing wealth creation and preserving women's health abortion over the fiscal solvency of the nation.

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Michelle Obama Chimes In On The Debt Ceiling

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Donald Trump is Republican Scientology

Other than knowing it was pretty much started on a dare to L. Ron Hubbard, my understanding of the Church of Scientology is that I don't have any. None. It doesn't make any sense. Its illogical, and just because a bunch of celebrities flock to it for attention doesn't mean it deserves a seat at the religious roundtable.

In light of all of that, it's clear to me that Donald Trump is Republican Scientology, and I think it was born in a similar way....

Trump was sitting with some friends in a Manhattan penthouse one night a few weeks ago playing a drinking game where they have to take a shot every time someone mentions something good Obama has done.

After two hours of playing, the stone sober idiots decide to play catch up by shotgunning cans of whiskey (they exist). They succeed fabulously, and the members of the party not hooking up with his gold plated toilets proceed with other drinking games.

In a moment of drunken zeal Trump interrupts his turn during "charades," where he and his combover were doing a fantastically accurate impression of a bald Cousin It, to start an impromptu brainstorming session with the party on how to get taken more seriously.

Apparently the fragrance of C-list celebrity he has been wafting on himself since the first season of Celebrity Apprentice isn't filling his "serious" void. Thus he decides, drunkenly, that he needs a real challenge.

He takes a lot of suggestions that sound pretty good, but because everyone is too drunk the slurring is actually quite indecipherable to the sober ear. Frustrated, he walks to his hall of mirrors (having one is an unwritten requirement of being a legitimate billionaire narcissist), looks up at the mirror and sees his reflection through the strands of hair. Suddenly someone says...

I dare you to run for president with your checkered marital past and that silly hair....

to party attendee Newt Gingrich...but that was happening in the other room, and the Donald, naturally, assumed the person was referring to him.

So the damage is done, the race is on, and now the Republicans catapulting this doof into second place in the polls better be ready to explain to the country how this is different from the cult of personality that got Obama elected.

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