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Conservative Satire News February 1, 2011

In an effort to have a less embarrassing grip on the U.S. message about President Mubarak, Obama issues an executive order prohibiting Biden from talking about Egypt until he can spell it.

The Obama Administration issues an ObamaCare gag order on the Vice President's office after the release of a statement by Biden that the GOP's efforts to repeal the law defy logic since "it's like saying you want to repeel [sic] a potato, or banana, or Nancy's face."

While defending the individual mandate in ObamaCare Democrats oppose decry proposed South Dakota state law requiring all adults to purchase and own a gun on the grounds that a central tenet of the party's platform is a commitment to hypocrisy.

Liberals finally begin to question the theory of criminal rehabilitation as Charlie Sheen licks his lips and laments on how awesome it would be if all the east coast snowfall was actually cocaine.