Follow Me on Pinterest

Conservative Satire Headlines January 13, 2011

Liberal pundits resent notion that comparison of their Tucson analysis versus conservatives as being "apples to oranges" respectively is only accurate if one holds their tongue while saying "apples."

U of A officials express gratitude for whistles and catcalls from crowd during the Tucson memorial as welcome alternative to their malfunctioning laugh track.

PETA outraged at Palin confession that she finds it calming to drown out liberal punditry with the sound of cats in blenders.

Add a comment

Comparing Obama's Speech to Palin's Is Like Comparing Apples to "Bloody" Hands

It's never going to end. People like Jonathan Martin at Politico will see to that...

At sunrise in the East on Wednesday, Sarah Palin demonstrated that she has little interest — or capacity — in moving beyond her brand of grievance-based politics. And at sundown in the West, Barack Obama reminded even his critics of his ability to rally disparate Americans around a message of reconciliation....

But for much of the eight-minute talk she was defensive and showed little interest in doing anything other than channeling the understandable resentment of her ideological kinsmen over the blame-casting. And that won't appeal much to a political center that — even while they may not think Palin is in any way responsible for Tucson — preferred more conciliation even before the jarring attempted assassination of a member of Congress.

Get his entire diatribe here

Sarah Palin is not the president.

Barack Obama, despite some incendiary rhetoric (by liberals standards) he has spewed over the last couple of years, has not been dragged in to any discussion about blood being on his hands, he hasn't had to endure even a hint of hypothesizing his culpability in the Tucson shooting.

It should be needless to say that their roles in politics and the circumstances surrounding them are worlds apart. Their speeches served different functions and for obvious reasons.

It should be needless to say...but it isn't for some people, maybe Politico should start instituting intelligence tests as a condition of employment.

Sorry if this harsh language causes a run on glocks and a spike in interest over where MENSA meetings are held, but left has spent the last 5 days making complete fools and hypocrites of themselves. Instead of absorbing a message to all about civility and toning down the pervasive "us versus" them attitude the nation is engulfed in, they choose to funnel it in to a message stream that is directed exclusively at conservatives.

Those willing to be intellectually honest realize that Sarah Palin actually did many of the things Obama did, but she also worked in a defense of herself and a criticism of monkeys in the media who continued to fling their poo until Obama delivered his oratorical banana....naptime should start any minute now...

Like I said yesterday, the left's zeroing in on the use of "blood libel" and pretty much nothing else illustrates how their pronouncement that her speech was a "missed opportunity" is based entirely on their say so only.

I dare anyone reading this to find a quote from Palin's speech outside of the non-issue of her "blood libel" utterance that demonstrates the "missed opportunity" liberals have been carping about.

Place it in the comments section...and explain yourself.

Man oh man, be careful what I wish for, right? I hope I have enough bandwidth for the coming onslaught. :-/

Add a comment

Sheriff Clarence Dupnik's Mentor...

Every hero has an origin story...

Sheriff Dupnik mentor

...and a mentor that helps them realize their potential.

Add a comment

Conservative Satire Headlines January 12, 2011

Jewish groups denounce Palin's use of "blood libel," adding they would forgive the apparent insult if she became a Democrat.

"God Hates Fags" church cancels picket of funeral for the 9 year-old girl killed in Tucson massacre after residents offer to finally introduce them to Him.

Attempting to announce 2010 as tied for warmest year on record NOAA official is asked to speak up or take off the scarfs.

Add a comment

Maybe Palin Should Have Said "Blood Slander" Instead

My schedule today delayed my ability to hear Palin give her her video statement on the Tucson shooting. I did however, get to see a lot of analysis on it before hand, and until a little bit ago I was left with the impression that she totally blew it. The reason for this ended up being something beyond childish.

Ezra Klein's take on Palin's "Blood Libel" quip.

I just don't care if Palin thought "blood libel" was a vivid way of saying "nasty smear" instead of a description of the once-common anti-Semitic trope that Jews murder Christian children because their blood is needed to bake matzoh. I'm Jewish, so I know the term well. But I imagine the history of it is more obscure to those who didn't attend Hebrew school. This is not worth the headlines it's been getting.

I have to confess I was unfamiliar with this phrase and the fact it is supposed to be some sort of a Jewish version of the "n-word" to non-Jewish "progressives." I'm glad the left has finally found a reason to defend Jews now. Here is Alan Dershowitz thanking them for this defense.

There is nothing improper and certainly nothing anti-Semitic in Sarah Palin using the term to characterize what she reasonably believes are false accusations that her words or images may have caused a mentally disturbed individual to kill and maim.

How's THAT for gratitude?

There was so much good in Palin's speech, the fact that "progressives" and the media have become apoplectic about a creative (and technically correct) way to describe the smearing she has had to endure speaks volumes on how unassailable 99.99% 100% of what she had to say really was.

They damn well know it too. Which is why they're doing what they do best now. Even the "reputable" ABC news can't help themselves

Sarah Palin, once again, has found a way to become part of the story. I live in the freakin' Matrix or something? That video was made to address and denounce how the left made Palin part of the story. Palin - at the risk of inciting sex offenders to spring into action - let them rape her reputation for 4 days before responding to their making this about her. Was the idiot who wrote that sentence born yesterday?

The American left is becoming some kind of childish version of Jersey Shore. No I'm not being redundant, it's the childish version. When I look at analysis from the likes of Andrew Sullivan and Howard Kurtz I'm beginning to feel like the Snookis of the world are more capable of processing its perils than people like those two.

Maybe Palin should've come up with something that would apparently be less assailable than "blood libel." I'm not sure what that something would be since these weiners find phrases like "nucyoolar," "vote Republican" and "In God We Trust" to be offensive.

Maybe she should've said "blood slander" so the media wouldn't have been able to do their sniping from behind the Jews' skirts.

It's a futile task anyway, because everything conservatives say is a "big f**king deal" to these people. That's because they don't understand why they can't just blame her for the actions of a man operating on vaporized sanity. The concept of personal responsibility is above their paygrade because they view all things conservative through hate tinted lenses.

It's the same reason they won't let her defend herself now, it would force them to see the real blame lies in the reflection of a mirror.

Add a comment

Hanoi Jane Fonda is a Shame Bloodhound

Appropriately, the background of her Twitter page is outer space. Now I know why.

What Jared Loughner is not

Talk about border crossings...this woman redefined treason, now she's discovered the edge of the universe. That's how far you'd need to reach to find this to be anywhere near acceptable commentary from someone who partied with the Viet Cong.

Notice how familiar she is with who Glenn Beck is she cant even spell his name or Twitter handle correctly. I'm glad she knows what she's talking about.

She wants to SHAME Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin? I would be white-hot pissed about this if she wasn't such an authority on it. After all...

Please, someone tell me how to say "shut your traitorous mouth" in Vietnamese

Add a comment

What Jared Loughner is NOT

Michael Ramirez is simply the best there is at what he does...see more here.

What Jared Loughner is not

Add a comment

Conservative Satire Headlines January 11, 2011

An MSNBC internal poll finds CBS poll finding "political rhetoric and Tucson are unrelated" is unrelated to their own rhetoric.

Bill Clinton laments on how politics have degenerated, pines for the days when presidents could lie to grand juries.

Congress hails Peter King's proposal to ban guns around it's members within 1000 feet as an improvement over current laws on the books designed to deter murder.

Add a comment

Sterilizing Our "Rhetoric"

If the left wants to ban rhetoric and sayings that are kind of tangentially but not really is offensive and dangerous, like put targets on a map (something they've also done but in a totally irrelevant way) then EVERYTHING should be on the table...

Target - Retail superstore my foot, that place is a country club for assassins.

Kill two birds with one stone - this one is to please PETA, besides its more efficient to say "thats efficient," so banning this kills two birds with one stone.

French fries - Someone might nuke France, lets call it something like "potato fingers", that would encourage about spud buddies...too fun, kids will like that, which means Michelle wont...OH! I got it!!! We'll just ban them.

Egg beaters - "Planned Parenthood" says the proper terminology is "choice," thanks.

Hope - It rhymes with rope. Why do you want to associate rope with a black man? Racist...


Bullet train - don't ask me if calling it that is more or less dangerous than a Hummer with a leaky fuel line...God's existence is easier to prove.

Teleprompters - I can't have fancy gadgets like the president to help me find the words to describe how I feel, guess I have to use my fists.

YOU LIE! - The person who says this is obviously telling saying to go find a coffin.

Sh*t faced - If thats not racist against minorities then why don't white people get "bird-sh*t faced?"

High on life - Not without prescription we can tax pal

Hotter than Hell - Not to atheists

Wife beater - Why do you want to make Barney Frank feel left out?...Homophobe.

Club Med -  is not a euphemism for what ObamaCare is doing to medicine

Killin' time - Don't you dare accuse the Obama Administration of murder!

Soda jerk - there is no reason to name call just because Michelle Obama wants children to be healthy ...

Mailman - Biden thinks this is sexist, and the women who do this work should be called Femailmen.

Heart attack - liberals think that's Cheney's weapon of choice when he's not hunting

Targeted tax cuts - If we can't put targets on maps then how dare we put them on liberals' beloved taxes?

Add a comment

Guns Don't Kill People, Talk Radio Does?

This is getting to be SO OLD now....It looks like someone finally came unhinged...

"The kind of rhetoric that flows from people like Rush Limbaugh, in my judgment he is irresponsible, uses partial information, sometimes wrong information," Pima County Sheriff Clarence Dupnik said today. "[Limbaugh] attacks people, angers them against government, angers them against elected officials and that kind of behavior in my opinion is not without consequences....The vitriol affects the [unstable] personality that we are talking about," he said. "You can say, 'Oh no, it doesn't,' but my opinion is that it does."

I'm really confused. Does this guy solves crime based on his opinion or the evidence at hand? What evidence does this moron have that Limbaugh could even begin to be responsible for what an insane person does?

How are the WORDS of Rush Limbaugh responsible for what this lunatic did relative to the ACTIONS of...

Leftist protesters?!?

Boy oh boy I'll bet Pima County must have A LOT of cold cases with Sherrif Fife in charge.

Add a comment