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Al Gore Bakes Snowflakes

From Al Gore's blog on the continuing canard that global warming creates snow.

...the scientific community has been addressing this particular question for some time now and they say that increased heavy snowfalls are completely consistent with what they have been predicting as a consequence of man-made global warming:

See the entire post here

Global warming isn't real...

Oh ok, that settles that.

It's important to note that while he continues to hide behind the skirts of scientists the link he supplies in the quote points to an opinion column by Clarence Page of the Chicago Tribune. I would say I personally would have preferred that Gore cite a tweet from Leonardo diCaprio, but Page is a black man and I don't want to be called racist...

When is the left going to figure out nobody believes this "scientific" crap that employs "2 + 2 = bananas" logic. This lunacy has become Gore's life work and he doesn't even have the guts to debate the issue publicly.

Instead we get blog posts that use opinion columns like they're exhibits in a court case and serve little more than to create a cess pool of rhetoric that makes real incest look clean by comparison.

Ovens bake brownies, not ice cubes. Either the earth is getting warmer or it isn't. If it's getting warmer then it's warmer in all seasons, including winter. Meaning it's impossible to have colder and more severe blizzards.


Corporate environmentalists

We're made to believe the science of all of this is just too complicated so we should blindly defer to the "experts," who have made careers out of what has now become REALLY big business.

If you're a believer in this crap ask yourself this: how much incentive do you think people like Gore have to level with you now that billions, and potentially trillions, of dollars of climate "business" are at stake?

How reliable is the "science" when they're drawing off of "climate data" over a century ago, when the light bulb had to be invented before it could be made illegal, and people still relieved themselves in outhouses sans plumbing?

How are fans of Al Gore not embarrassed with themselves?


Thanks to the Drudge Report for reminding us of the consensus Gore's fellow Democrats have on this highly techincal "science."

Again, liberals, how are you not embarrassed by this?

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Getting In on the Glenn Beck "Joke"

It's a long video, and its not what Beck says that is important to this post, it's the left's reaction to it that is...

Here was the liberal blogger Andrew Sullivan's take on the video

Above is a Glenn Beck clip that Michael Moynihan calls "the dumbest thing ever broadcast on (non-cable access) television....."

As I've said before, lots of Glenn Beck listeners aren't in on the joke. Unlike Roger Ailes, Jonah Goldberg, and every staffer at the Heritage Foundation happy hour, they don't realize that the Fox News Channel puts this man on the air fully understanding that large parts of his program are  uninformed nonsense mixed with brazen bullshit. When a Fox News host tells these viewers, "I'm not going to treat you like you're a moron," playing on their insecurity about other media outlets talking down to or lying to them, they take it at face value. What sort of callous, immoral person allows these viewers to be played for fools?

Read the entire thing here

If you think I cherry picked the fluffiest part of Sully's rant and am framing it as his best attempt to intelligently explain how it's the dumbest thing ever broadcast, you can click the link above to see if he elaborates, but don't waste your time. Sully, or any of the other liberal bloggers I've seen comment on this, never actually go there.

Do I think Tunisia is an "Archduke Ferdinand moment?" I have no idea.

I do know that Beck is entitled to his opinion, even if they left gets pissy that it's not the one they give him, at least (take notes Sully) he explains himself.

If the only other people in said room are blow up dolls

Wait, what am I saying? How can I question liberals when they're always the smartest people in the room?

For years now they've painted Beck as a lunatic, or stupid, or without intellectual authority because he's not college educated by the finest "little Eichmann" bloodhounds money can buy.

I've never heard anything remotely resembling an argument, or rebuttal, or logic used to push back on the merit of anything that comes out of Beck's show, which they probably don't even watch.

Apparently they think Beck is hanging himself and all they just have to do is show some YouTube clip and then congratulate themselves for not screwing up the embed code.

With my college degree I guess I'm technically more educated than Beck is, and I don't see what they see. I don't arrogantly assume that people who patronize Beck media are so myopic in their news media consumption that they crawl back into their hole when he goes off the air and only return with his radio show in the morning, thus preventing themselves from ever having a chance to bask in the glow of Andrew Sullivan's 40 watts of enlightening brilliance.

Clearly, I should have my bachelors degree revoked since I am one of millions who don't think that what Beck has to say is "brazen bullshit."

Why is it NOT true that Sully and his ilk, when it comes to understanding the geopolitical and economic danger we face, are in such a state of denial it's a wonder they don't think movies like "Inception" are documentaries?

If they think saying so amounts to the ravings of a lunatic they need to make a much better case than "because I say so."

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Conservative Satire News February 1, 2011

In an effort to have a less embarrassing grip on the U.S. message about President Mubarak, Obama issues an executive order prohibiting Biden from talking about Egypt until he can spell it.

The Obama Administration issues an ObamaCare gag order on the Vice President's office after the release of a statement by Biden that the GOP's efforts to repeal the law defy logic since "it's like saying you want to repeel [sic] a potato, or banana, or Nancy's face."

While defending the individual mandate in ObamaCare Democrats oppose decry proposed South Dakota state law requiring all adults to purchase and own a gun on the grounds that a central tenet of the party's platform is a commitment to hypocrisy.

Liberals finally begin to question the theory of criminal rehabilitation as Charlie Sheen licks his lips and laments on how awesome it would be if all the east coast snowfall was actually cocaine.

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13 New Congressional Sandwiches

From I Hate The Media:

The Los Angeles Times reports, “After making headlines this week for accusing a congressional cafeteria of selling him a ‘dangerous’ sandwich, Congressman Dennis Kucinich, D-Ohio, released a statement today announcing his lawsuit seeking $150,000 in damages had been settled.”

Surely, that sandwich will forever more be known in the Congressional cafeteria as the Kucinich Special. We’re pretty sure customers are already lining up and saying, “Gimme that Dennis Kucinich sandwich.”

With that in mind, it seems to us that the Congressional cafeteria should introduce a whole line of sandwiches named after Washington, DC political and media types.

Please allow us to make some suggestions:

The Obama Surprise: Some days it’s all baloney and no bread. Other days it’s de-boned and spineless chicken on dark rye (You never really know what you’ll get. That’s why it’s called a surprise.)

The Barney Frank: Rump roast with an extra helping of salami.

The Harry Reid: Cold, aged beef with no seasoning on white bread.

The Ed Schultz: Beef tongue with an extra serving of fat. Always served hot.

The Keith Olbermann: This item has been removed from the menu.

The Joe Biden: This is a huge f’ing sandwich. It contains a lot of f’ing pork. It’s a f’ing fork-ready project. (NOTE: The Joe Biden Combo comes one fry short of a happy meal.)

See the rest here.

h/t iOwnTheWorld.

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Is Minnesota A Midwest San Francisco Or What?

From ABC's The Note

While former Sen. Norm Coleman has said publicly that he may return to public service, today he ruled out challenging Democratic Sen. Amy Klobuchar in 2012.

“I’m not going to run against Amy Klobuchar,” Coleman, R-Minn., said on ABC’s “Top Line” today. “I’ve said in other forums that I haven’t ruled out public service -- my heart’s in public service. At some point, but not in 2012. I love what I do now, and that is developing center-right policy.”

Typing "Minnesota" is giving me brain freeze right now.

While I'm never one to discourage challenging any Democrat, I have to say I can't blame Norm on this one. This is's so cold up there that people get brain freeze just by saying "Minnesota."

When you have brain freeze you don't think straight. That's why they were the ONLY state that went for Mondale over Reagan in 1984.

Or it was brain freeze.

They put Jesse Ventura in charge in 1998. I was too young to vote back then so I don't remember much about that election. From what I do remember they either voted for him on a dare, or they were hoping the pro-wrestler could provide non-lethal way's to get rid of grizzly bears.

The last time they were asked to pick a senator they were asked to choose between...


And they went with Baby Huey on the left.

So I don't blame Norm if he wants to pass on asking the people of a state, that appears to be overrun by liberals who are so dumb they would lose in Jeopardy to a lobotomized Biden, for their vote.

Yeah, I know that's also where Michelle Bachmann and Tim Pawlenty hail from. What's the secret to their success? I'm going to go out on a limb on this one....

Heat lamps.

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Why ObamaCare Gets Ruled Unconstitutional

Another great one from YouTube user Battlefield315.

I would say it's not fair that he (I'm assuming its a he) doesn't recruit a liberal to write that side of the script, but then I worry that the conversation wouldn't sound as intelligent if that was arranged...

On a side note...I'm starting to think Battlefield315 is a bit of a misogynist? Why does the woman have to be the liberal bubblehead in these videos?

Now thats more homophobic than anything! Just because a man is gay doesn't make him feminine.

Or gay... book cover judger

Oh come on! You don't even know if those guys are liberal!!!

It's just a walk, the president isn't a coordinated guy, that's all! Some people are born that way...I mean, have you ever seen him bowl or pitch a baseball...the dude throws like a gir - wait a sec...


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Conservative Satire News January 31, 2011

A judge in Florida rules the entirety of ObamaCare to be unconstitutional, but allows an exception on the clause for pre-existing conditions like Helen Thomas.

Anthony Weiner explains that part of the reason he is "still pissed" about the public option being removed from ObamaCare has to do with his name being "Weiner."

Obama administration releases white paper covering the handling of the governmental crisis in Egypt titled "Present."

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The NFL is Successful Because of Socialism?!?

Bill Maher has a hard enough time telling jokes, he should really stay out of economics....

New Rule: With the Super Bowl only a week away, Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, for all the F-15 flyovers and flag waving, football is our most successful sport because the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives it to the poor teams...

Because football is built on an economic model of fairness and opportunity, and baseball is built on a model where the rich almost always win and the poor usually have no chance. The World Series is likeReal Housewives of Beverly Hills. You have to be a rich bitch just to play. The Super Bowl is like Tila Tequila. Anyone can get in....

(T)hey literally share the wealth, through salary caps and revenue sharing - TV is their biggest source of revenue, and they put all of it in a big commie pot and split it 32 ways. Because they don't want anyone to fall too far behind. That's why the team that wins the Super Bowl picks last in the next draft. Or what the Republicans would call "punishing success."

Read the "article" in its entire context at The Huffington Post

aka liberal arguments

Read the rest of it if you REALLY want. I truncated most of it, and as a result I left out the intended jokes and focused soley on the real ones.

Depressing success in the name of "competition" also depresses quality of the product, or at least prevents motivation for improvement, which fuels real competition and a better quality of life. Even Maher admits this to be true of NFL teams, so why is the NFL's overall success different?

Well, separate companies selling widgets don't fall under one organizational umbrella like football teams under the NFL...or the mainstream media under the secret cabal of progressive overlords. Which is an elite group consisting of George Soros and his goblin finger puppets.

Widget companies are all individually competing for market share, so they're not in the same situation as the NFL. Football teams' economic competition is and remains localized (versus other forms of entertainment) since the teams aren't really competing for demand in markets other than their own.

The NFL recognizes that if they can maintain fan interest in all of its teams that would translate into more profit for the organization as a whole, which works because football, unlike the comedy of Bill Maher, is entertainment. So it benefits from generating the drama and mystery (and therefore fans' dollars) from season to season by forcing a level playing field.

In essence what they are doing is, in fact, capitalist...because they are taking the steps they need to take to maximize profit in order to gain, and win, in the market of entertainment. In other words, this is a business model, not a governmental one like socialism is.

The same things simply aren't true with companies that sell widgets. It's hard to understand why Maher can't see this since it's as clear as the nose on his face.

There is another good response to all of this at News Real Blog.

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Meet Egypt's New Vice President

Mubarak makes Biden his vice president

If it's tough to read you can click the image to see a larger version.

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Time Magazine's Cover Helps Show Why Liberals Are Wrong About Conservative Humor

There was a time when it was pretty effortless to find articles from liberals on why conservatives simply don't have the DNA to be funny. In fact, before starting The Looking Spoon I tried to look at other conservative humor blogs to see what they were doing. All I had to do was Google "conservative humor" and among the top results would be articles propagating this myth.

Flashforward about 2 years later, I decided to Google "conservative humor" now and found these articles to be nowhere in sight unless you change your search to conservatives can't be funny. For me I know it was the arrogance of their perceived superiority following the 2008 election that motivated me and others to spring into action.

This rant should come with a soundtrack

Perhaps we just needed our backs to the wall to speak up and take back "conservative humor" for search engine results everywhere, but it's stuff like Time magazines latest cover that make it too dang easy.

Their arrogance was their undoing politically, and it's also like gasoline on a conservative funny-bone fueled fire.

From GeronL at Free Republic

This last one from iOwnTheWorld proves there's always two sides to every story...

To any liberals viewing this in bemusement and scratching their heads with the same caution Biden uses to check his hair plugs...THESE - ARE - FUNNY! You make it SO EASY too.

If anyone knows who the artist behind any of the other pieces that are not attributed (all of which were shared with me at Free Republic) step right up and claim the credit you deserve.

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