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CBS Should Re-Make Two and a Half Men With A New Cast

I have to be honest, I thought Two and a half Men was a really stupid show. I saw a few episodes and the wonder that it had gone on for as long as it has is flabbergasting to me.

That said, the one thing I can appreciate about it is the people who worked on the show were able to put food on the table and a roof over their head because it provided their employment. This includes Charlie Sheen, but in his case that roof over his head was made of coked out porn stars.

It wasn't enough for Sheen to be satisfied with being the highest paid actor on television. He needed to be perpetually messed up on drugs too. Now some selfish rant against the network has caused the show to be cancelled for the season, effectively screwing hundreds of people out of work they need because they don't get to make millions for "acting" like an ingracious piece of s**t on camera.

Rather than cancel for the season, I think CBS should just reboot the show with a new cast. I have a few ideas, starting with a very obvious option...



Then there's a choice even more obvious than that...



I call this one "the trans-gender barrier buster"...



This is the best option, but the need for special effects make it cost prohibitive...



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Conservative Satire News February 25, 2011

National Journal grudgingly apologizes to Vice President Biden for any confusion caused by their report that the 2010 Congress was the most polarized ever, adding there has been no impact whatsoever on global warming.

Eliot Spitzer welcomes Kathleen Parker's decision to leave the primetime CNN show they co-host, saying that if she's getting paid to spend an hour with him he should've gotten some sex out of it.

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What Would You Rather Do Than Work For CNN?

This is how crappy it is to work for CNN...

Kathleen Parker, the Pulitzer-Prize winning journalist who co-hosted CNN's 8 p.m. show, is leaving just five months after the show debuted, the company announced Friday.

"I have decided to return to a schedule that will allow me to focus more on my syndicated newspaper column and other writings," Parker said in a statement.

More here

This is like James Carville canceling an appointment so he can go get a haircut.

I'm sure it wasn't a very pleasant experience working with a man like Eliot Spitzer, who probably was offended being in the presence of a woman who was getting paid spend an hour with him without sex being part of the deal.

My only experience with the show was highlighted in this post from last November, when Rand Paul made Spitzer his Client Number 9 while Parker was probably too busy avoiding the reach of Spitzer under the table to concentrate on having an actual thought to contribute to the show.

So I don't blame her for wanting to leave the last place network in cable news to refocus her work on that 21st century dinosaur we call NEWSPAPERS.

After all, she's got to go where the audience is.

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Public Sector Unions vs. Satan: The Movie

I took my rant from a couple of days ago about Wisconsin Unions and ran it though Xtranormal's text to movie maker....




Big h/t to The Peoples Cube for its contribution to the finale.


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Conservative Satire News February 24, 2011

The Saudi Arabian man arrested in Texas for under suspicion of building a "weapon of mass destruction" is released after DHS learns he was just trying to build an IED, not watch Fox News.

Army finds Rolling Stone expose about employment of psy-ops on Senators to be "laughably manufactured," reminding the public senators don't have minds to manipulate.

New poll finds 67% disapprove of the Wisconsin Democratic Senators that fled the state to avoid a vote on the states budget. This rate drops significantly under a scenario where they never return.

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A Solution To Wisconsin's Budget Battle AND Our Dependence on Foreign Oil

Piggy backing on a satire headline from yesterday (February 23).


Scott Walker solves the Wiconsin budget crisis


If it's tough to read you can click the image to see a larger version.

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Terrorist Busted While Messin' With Texas

A man in Lubbock Texas was arrested...

...late yesterday by FBI agents in Texas on a federal charge of attempted use of a weapon of mass destruction in connection with his alleged purchase of chemicals and equipment necessary to make an improvised explosive device (IED) and his research of potential U.S. targets.

Check out the story at Right Network

The most shocking part of the story is that the man was caucasion with sandy blond hair, blue eyes, wearing a cowboy hat and was a known Tea Party organizer in the area. See for yourself...



Obviously he beat himself until his skin bruised into a nice olive tone. In fact he be beat himself so bad even his hair bruised black.

Even though he attempted to hide himself from DHS by changing his name to Khalid Ali-M Aldawsari there were a few signs of suspicious activity that got them on to his scent:

    He once drank tea at a party

    His radio could pick up AM signals

    He knew Glenn Beck spelled his name with two "n's"

    His racist streak (he once posted on Facebook that the govnerment should heavily scrutinize Arab Muslims for suspected terrorism)

    He went around shouting Reagan Akbar

America! F**K YEAH! Hi fives all around! Score one of the good guys, even though liberals run the Department of Justice, and thus have no clue they're the good guys.

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A Wizzconsin Protest Graphic

Wizzconsin


If you haven't had a chance to meet the 14 Wisconsin Democratic Senators who went AWOL on the job you can see them here.

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Conservative Satire News February 23, 2011

Liberal organizations coordinating advertising for Obama's reelection bid see major challenges ahead and start with hiring consultants who have attempted to sell ice to Eskimos.

Gay activists praise Obama's abandonment of DOMA defense and potentially paving the way for federal recognition of gay marriage, prompting promises from gay men to show female "breeders" how wedding dresses really get done.

Wisconsin's governor sees a potential opportunity when oil hits $100 dollars sparking a proposal to close the budget deficit with unions by somehow refining and monetizing their slime.

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Wisconsin Is The Union Superpower

This is a hilarious take on the Wisconsin union debacle from Steven Crowder (h/t IMAO)

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