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The Book of Liberal Bird Brains

From Right Network...

Check out the rest of the liberal bird brains at the full post here

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Michelle Obama's Bake Sale Reform

A child nutrition bill on its way to President Barack Obama — and championed by the first lady — gives the government power to limit school bake sales and other fundraisers that health advocates say sometimes replace wholesome meals in the lunchroom.

Republicans, notably Sarah Palin, and public school organizations decry the bill as an unnecessary intrusion on a common practice often used to raise money.

"This could be a real train wreck for school districts," Lucy Gettman of the National School Boards Association said Friday, a day after the House cleared the bill. "The federal government should not be in the business of regulating this kind of activity at the local level."

The legislation, part of first lady Michelle Obama's campaign to stem childhood obesity, provides more meals at school for needy kids, including dinner, and directs the Agriculture Department to write guidelines to make those meals healthier. The legislation would apply to all foods sold in schools during regular class hours, including in the cafeteria line, vending machines and at fundraisers.

Read the rest here

Its a good thing being a moral busybody is calorie-free. Whats next?

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Conservative Satire Headlines December 10, 2010

Aids say Obama left today's press conference after Bill Clinton took over because Clinton refused to wear a skirt for the president to hide behind.

A binocular clad Biden said to not be upset that Clinton got to be Obama's press conference understudy since the president gave him the "important" job of being "lookout."

Following Bernie Sanders's 8-hour speech against the tax cut compromise Obama gets a stern warning to "never ever EVER" (sic) try the same thing from his teleprompters.

Record low temperatures in Cancun during global warming summit said to be mother nature playing a of game "hot and cold" with environmentalists' credibility.

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Don't Let Economically-Illiterate 'Progressives' Take Your Umbrella!

I recently broke a rule I made for myself to not get into fights with liberals on Twitter. Engaging in Twitter fights reminds me too much of what it must've been like to be a supporter of Obama in 2008:

wut? r u 4 real? k bai!

It's too hard to think in complete sentences, when it's over you have this overwhelming feeling of guilt and regret and a longing to have that time back, and actual literacy is optional.

One of the canards I had to deal with in my debate with them was this notion that the tax cuts "didn't work" and therefore it was "time to end them." These Nobel winning economists in waiting never actually offered anything other than that as a reason the GOP was wrong to make the extensions permanent.

We are allegedly NOT in recession, and yet unemployment remains dangerously close to double digits. At this point, making the tax cuts permanent wont serve to stimulate the economy. It will serve to not cause a double dip recession. Job creation can't take place when everyone knows, or even anticipates having more of their money taken away. It's SO simple.

The left believes it simply isn't true. In my Twitter fight they said I was wrong without a shred of evidence or even an attempt at logic to refute common sense.

All I could do was continue asking point blank how an economy can create jobs when the wherewithal to grow demand is cut off at the knees. This is the "progressive" intellect my stupid question was eventually deflected with...

@SteelersGurlie to job creation..grants and loans to small business.

This was my response....

@TheLookingSpoon I see TAKE their money and then LOAN it back to them for jobs, LOL

This is what we're up against!

The GOP needs to explain itself to the nation like they're talking to a bunch of economic illiterates, because that's what they are (especially the "progressives"). People think the tax cuts didn't, or don't work, and they need to be set straight like Barney Frank at a slimy gay goblin party.

Basically the recession at the beginning of President Bush's term in office was like a little rain storm. The government gave you an umbrella (that was yours to begin with) to "borrow" so you can still go out and do all the things you weren't going to do in the rain but for the umbrella.

The sun comes out and you don't need the umbrella anymore, but you don't have to return it for a few more years so you hang on to it in case it rains again.

After a few years of sunny weather you notice a storm is coming, and this time its really bad. Like its raining cats and sub-prime mortgages bad! The umbrella is useless because its starting to flood. So all you can do now is accept that you're going to be soaked, turn the umbrella over, and hop in 'cuz its now a boat thats going to keep you afloat until the flood waters subside.

You're not happy, but you're keeping yourself afloat. All of a sudden some jackass in a helicopter (she lost her private jet in a different kind of flood) comes along and tells your time to "own" the umbrella is up and to fork it over. That you'll drown without it is not her problem because her face is a flotation device.

There will be other moments where compromise is a necessary evil, this is not one of those times. Congress needs to know that even with a paltry two year reprieve we can't give up the umbrella when murky waters remain beneath us.

I know there are those out there who think extending the tax cuts will create a whole new storm. They're partly right, only because there's a difference between the real raindrops of recession and the class-envy fueled tears of crybaby know-nothing "progressives" that also require an umbrella for protection.

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Biden's Miracle Solution to Make Us Energy Independent

I first saw this months ago, it makes me laugh EVERY time!

Bidens car

h/t iOwnTheWorld

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The Real Dream Act Harry Reid Always Wanted...

Harry Reid real Dream Act

If its tough to read you can click the image to see a larger version.

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Conservative Satire Headlines December 9, 2010

An "f-the-president" murmur from unidentified Dem prompts an angry reminder from Obama he is president, not Bill Clinton.

Pelosi accused of Freudian slip at Democratic Caucus meet when replying to "f-the-president" comment with "sorry, not on the first date."

Media Matters accuses Fox News of conservative bias for its ability to call Boehner as "speaker-elect" without need for grief counselors.

Don't Ask Don't Tell repeal goes down in senate to the delight of the "Gays For Reinstating The Draft" PAC

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Fox News Busted for Slanting News to What's Right

At the height of the health care reform debate last fall, Bill Sammon, Fox News' controversial Washington managing editor, sent a memo directing his network's journalists not to use the phrase "public option."

Instead, Sammon wrote, Fox's reporters should use "government option" and similar phrases -- wording that a top Republican pollster had recommended in order to turn public opinion against the Democrats' reform efforts....

Two months prior to Sammon's 2009 memo, Republican pollster Frank Luntz appeared on Sean Hannity's August 18 Fox News program. Luntz scolded Hannity for referring to the "public option" and encouraged Hannity to use "government option" instead.

Luntz argued that "if you call it a 'public option,' the American people are split," but that "if you call it the 'government option,' the public is overwhelmingly against it." Luntz explained that the program would be "sponsored by the government" and falsely claimed that it would also be "paid for by the government."

Read the rest at Media Matters

Oh yeah, Fox News is SO BUSTED! If I could high-five the peeps over at Media Matters I would do it after they got done counting out the fingers they'd need to hold up.

Here's a deep thought: Like soylent green, the public is PEOPLE!!!

Actually, what they did on this issue isn't slanting news, it's slanting reality. If Fox News lived in it they would know that the other networks said "public option" because they understood that the government is just a spectator in the health care peepshow.

So there would be no need to lie about it being a government option...its a public option....paid for with tax money the government collects, and then distributes to the programs designed by it, administered by its employees, regulated by the government, and enforced by the honor system government.

That crazy right-wing cult Fox calls a news network should be ashamed of itself for dishonestly confusing the public into thinking their "option" had anything to do with the government.

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I Think WikiLeaks Would Call Biden's Bluff

Biden fights WikiLeaks

If its tough to read you can click the image to see a larger version.

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Conservative Satire Headlines December 8, 2010

Liberals decrying Palin shooting caribou on her reality show stand down after explanation it was pregnant and she wasn't aiming to kill the mother.

Holder tells Biden he can't subpoena Disney on suspicion that the WikiLeaks cyber attacks are guerrilla marketing stunts for Tron

Berkley City Council's plan to honor WikiLeaks army private with wreath made from the branches of town's Treason Tree decried as immoral by city's homeless bird caucus.

Shock poll finds majority favor repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell thinking it's the official TSA policy for screening Muslims

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