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What The President Shoots For Before a Hole in One...

Obama better than hole in one

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A Very 'Linus vs. Joe Biden' Christmas

As much as I'd love to keep the posts going through the holiday weekend....truth be told, I'm pooped. Hopefully I can take a couple of days to rest up a bit.

And now, for your holiday weekend pleasure...a very special Christmas tale where Joe Biden finally wins a debate....sort of.

If you're a Christian keep in mind that Christmas is a celebration of the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

If you're NOT a Christian keep in mind that Christmas is a celebration of the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Merry Christmas everyone!

h/t iOwnTheWorld for the video.

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Conservative Satire Headlines December 23, 2010

Aides to Vice President Biden deny accusations that during signing of Don't Ask Don't Tell repeal he whispered into Obama's ear "this is a butt f**king deal"

Commemorating gays newfound ability to serve in the military Dems create a new Christmas carol titled "Have Yourselves a Fairy Little Christmas."

Democrat leadership finds strongest support for "filibuster reform" with members planning to switch to GOP in 2013.

Al Gore tells nations kids they'll soon have a chance to ask Santa about the devastating effects of global warming.

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EPA to Ban Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer Unless...

progressive rudolph the red nosed reindeer

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I Probably Think Atheists Are Stupid

In light of Britain's Atheist Bus campaign this is probably a good time to mention I have always been a fan of the notion that I don't have enough faith to be atheist....

Apparently atheists don't have enough faith to be atheists either. There's probably no god?!? Does that mean there probably is a God?

This sets up an interesting conundrum for atheist crusaders. If they are "probably right" about there being no God then everything will go black and when we die existence for us will cease to be.

If they are "probably wrong" and there is a God then what do they think will happen to them when they have to face Him in the next life?

Basically, they're damned if they don't, and they be damned if anyone could get them to "do."

"seriously @$&#ed." is reallly not, but probably is code for "poopy heads"

By the way, I probably think atheists are a little stupid.

I would also say that it's most certainly true with a high degree of probability that "probably" is code for "definitely." Its also true with definite degree of probability that "stupid" is also meant to mean "seriously @$&#ed."

They don't believe in God, so they see no need for religion, which prompts them to start an atheist cult so they can tell the world they're "probably" right...

Meanwhile, all people of faith are the logically bankrupt ones in this equation?

How does anyone get this way? Were these people tied to a chair and fed a constant diet of paint chips and helium?

Oh, I'm sorry, am I being ridiuclous?

Also, what is it that atheists think we are consumed by that makes them feel the need to tell us to "stop worrying?" Because of their belief that God is in control people of faith are truly some of the most worry free people there are.

When anyone assumes you're something that you're not they're reallly projecting their own issues on to you. Without exception the non-religious people in my life are among the most miserable people I personally know. They can't enjoy their life because they get hung up on every little thing that goes wrong in it.

They sweat the small stuff because they don't think there is anything to look forward to after this life. So they want to get it while the gettin' is good, and they're never satisfied. They don't know what people of faith know...nothing material in this life can provide permanent or lasting happiness better than faithfulness to God.

This Christmas will be spent as it should be, celebrating the birth of the Son of God, and I'll be doing so happily, because believing in God makes my life more enjoyable.

I'm not going to worry about people who spend their lives WORRIED about making sure people knew that life PROBABLY has no point.

Honestly atheists, I don't care what you want to believe...but please just go find a dark sound-proof closet that you can "play dead" in, and stop trying to be a bummer to people who want to play in the light.


On a side note, I thought this was a pretty brilliant retort from Neil Stevens over at Red State, I don't think they'd take it well...

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Are We Now Going To Have Queer Eye for the Soldier Guy?

Just askin'...Now that they get to fight they can and will get a say in other things, right?

gay soldier boy combat couture

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Conservative Satire Headlines December 22, 2010

Obama thanks Putin for thank you card sent after START ratification, adds he didn't know Russian for "thanks" was "dosvedanya".

Dems propose new Don't Ask Don't Tell policy that allows Congress to never find out what is in bills after voting for them.

Dems say they might agree to GOP demand to read the Constitution in next Congress if someone would explain to them what it is.

Attorneys issue CIA cease and desist order upon creation of the WikiLeaks Task Force citing ownership of "WTF" branding by Obama Administration.

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Huckabee vs. Sarah P Over Michelle Obama's Unjust Desserts

Potential GOP presidential candidate Mike Huckabee says Sarah Palin’s wrong and Michelle Obama’s right, at least when it comes to the first lady’s push to combat childhood obesity.

“With all due respect to my colleague and friend Sarah Palin, I think she's misunderstood what Michelle Obama is trying to do,” the former Arkansas governor said Tuesday on the “Curtis Sliwa Show.”.....

(said Huckabee) “Michelle Obama's not trying to tell people what to eat or not trying to force the government's desires on people,” Huckabee said. “She’s stating the obvious, that we do have an obesity problem in this country.”

See the entire article at Politico (h/t Memeorandum)

Yeah, this is why anyone with the name Huckabee shouldn't be elected president.

Remember when "Just Say No" had the force of law behind it? The Obama family is not merely "stating" anything. They are "telling" people what to do about it. I would say that Huckabee would be smart enough to know the difference, but his name is Huckabee.

How is the Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act NOT an imposition of "the government's desires on people?" It's now law! I think the flashy lights of his Fox News studio are making Mikey a little blind to what is really obvious.

...and stolen milk money will be made taxable income

I know this is an issue near and dear to his heart, but if personal baggage made good law then toilet seats would be narrower than the human head and 10 year-old bed-wetters will be eligible for a presidential medal of honor when I'm in charge of this joint.

How about this? If anyone can tell me which federal law Huckabee used to guide him in dropping his 100 pounds I'll back off the issue, and because I'm a nice guy I wont make beeping sounds while I do it.

All Palin is doing is playing a little gander to Michelle's goose by employing Obama's BFF Saul Alinsky's fifth rule:

"Ridicule is man's most potent weapon. It is almost impossible to counteract ridicule. Also it infuriates the opposition, which then reacts to your advantage."

This kind of nonsense needs to be ridiculed until election day, when it can be defeated.

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The Lump of Coal Santa Regrets Giving America

This is kind of meant to be a companion piece to A Yuletide Target of Michelle Obama's War On Obesity?...

Santa lump of coal for America

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Conservative Satire Headlines December 21, 2010

Biden is left despondent after realizing FCC Net Neutrality will do nothing to help his beloved L.A. Clippers.

Jon Stewart laments he could help preclude the 9-11 health bill by bestowing the healing power of laughter on first responders that are liberal.

Sen. Coburn says he would end opposition to 9-11 health compensation bill if it could be made deficit neural with "good intentions and pixie dust."

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