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Conservative Satire Headlines November 23, 2010

Britain to counter North Korean strike on the South by having Queen re-gift Obama's campaign speech filled iPod to Kim Jong un

Calls for psychological probes begin when an off-duty TSA Officer reportedly requires family to be pad-down before entering the family minivan.

TSA screeners call for weight profiling, say searching rolls of obese people is a "big fat waste of time."

Pelosi announces she will now fly commercial to the dismay of TSA screeners and broom makers alike.

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NBC Celebrates Person of the Year On Opposite Day?

NBC and its affiliates have been trounced in ratings over the last several years. With stations like MSNBC under their belt and liberals such as Matt Lauer and Keith Olbermann hosting programs, NBC is clearly disconnected with the average American. Another clear sign of their mismanagement: naming Sharif El-Gamal, developer of the Ground Zero Mosque, one of their "People of the Year."

Read the rest at the Pundit Press (via Memeorandum)

What's this? Is the network itching like the yeast infection it is on Lady Liberty to do something to satisfy the void it must feel when Keith Olbermann ditched his World's Worst Person schitck?

What geniuses we have over there at NBC! Just go ahead and swing the pendulum the other way and find someone doing something despicable and then honor them. Is that supposed to change our minds about the Ground Zero Mosque. Are these idiots so full of themselves that they think a suck up session with Matt Lauer will win over the victims of 9-11?

Other "winners" (and don't get me wrong, some of them really deserve the designation) can be found here.

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North Korea: The Great Asian Puppet Show

The South Korean military went to "crisis status" on Tuesday and threatened military strikes after the North fired dozens of shells at a South Korean island, killing two of the South's soldiers and setting off an exchange of fire in one of the most serious clashes between the two sides in decades.

President Lee Myung-bak met with security-related ministers and senior aides in the underground situation room at the Blue House, the presidential office and residence, and ordered strikes on North Korea's missile base if the North made any "indication of further provocation," The Korea Herald quoted a presidential spokesman, Hong Sang-pyo, as saying.

The North blamed the South for starting the exchange; the South acknowledged firing test shots in the area but denied that any had fallen in the North's territory. It was in the same area that a South Korean naval vessel, the Cheonan, was sunk in March, killing 46 sailors. Seoul blamed a North Korean torpedo attack; the North has denied any role.

Read the rest at the New York Times (via Memeorandum)

Details aren't totally clear but it looks like Lil' Kim Jong Il son is apparently the one who ordered the attack. He wants to show us he has some brass ones.

I always try to find the humor in everything, but I'm not sure I can here. The bum on the street who lives in a shopping cart and conducts important meetings in their head is amusing until he gets that nuke and plugs this... to it.

North Korea is like some great Asian ventriloquist act. Everyone is entertained by the dummy and forgets about the puppet master controling it.

I have a really hard time believing that country does anything without at least a little bit of advance knowledge from China. Acts like this are toe dips in the water. Every time something like this happens it isn't really about South Korea, America is being tested.

One can hope President Obama will understand this, but his approval rating is at 39% and everything is reversed through that mirror of his. So he needs stop staring at himself and turn around to figure out its not 93%, and you can't reason with people who want to see us destroyed anymore.

In many ways our country is in a precarious position, I understand that. I also know I don't have all the facts, but I do know that we've been speaking softly for too long, and it plunges the world deeper to the point of no return. At some point, I'm afraid (but I hope I'm wrong), a big stick of some sort will have to get us out.

Oh boy, not that one Barry...

Please pray for the people of South Korea.

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Is Obama His Gift To Women?

This holiday season...

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Conservative Satire Headlines November 22, 2010

While Palin is said to not be offended by Barbara Bush's wish that she stay in Alaska, she did express a wish for Bush to stay in "the land of irrelevant."

Palin says refusal to do interview with Katie Couric again based on fact that wet paint on walls the walls of America has higher viewership.

Being informed that Palin would never do another interview with Katie Couric, a disinterested Couric retorts that she doesn't even know who Palin is talking about.

Biden complains START treaty with Russia is to complicated for him to read, proposes name change to GO

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The Presidency is Too Much for Anyone? Or Just The One?

Newsweek's depiction of President Obama on its latest cover has irked some Indian Americans who, fresh off Obama's visit to the world's largest democracy, are not happy with the image of the U.S. president as the Hindu deity, Lord Shiva.

The Newsweek cover shows Obama with several arms carrying policy issues while balancing on one leg. The headline reads: "God of All Things" with a subtitle, "Why the Modern Presidency May be too Much for One Person to Handle."

Shiva, who is one of three pre-eminent gods in the Hindu religion along with Brahma and Vishnu, is considered the destroyer of the world, which must end, metaphorically speaking, in order to be reborn as a more universalistic place. However, the god's purpose is not to foretell an apocalyptic ending.

Read the rest at Fox News

I didn't read the article, and I'm not going to. The premise is ridiculous and totally unfair to every president who came before BOZO the clown.

Why didn't Newsweek think the presidency was too much to handle for Bush? All of a sudden we make excuses for presidents who don't wet our whistle? Is this latest depiction of Obama as a deity meant to be a downgrade or pivot from the left's messianic delusions of grandeur?

Google"Newsweek cover Obama" and you would think he was the god of that magazine. PSST! maybe they're trying to save face.

Here's a little Newsflash for NewsWEAK (now that we don't have to answer to Google for the rest of this post)....are you ready?.....brace yourselves, because I don't want to cause any aneurysms over there.....every presidency is too much for one person to handle!

That's why they get to have entire administrations, with a Vice President, and a cabinet, and a chief-of-staff with advisors, and cool logos, and undersecretaries, and deputies, and they ALL have to work together because those 3,000 person $200,000,000.00/day trips to India aren't going to coordinate themselves!

I've got a great investigative story to pitch to them for their next issue. Its perfect for their style of hard-hitting journalism. It goes something like this:

Why a burning fireplace may no longer be the best place to store gasoline.

I REALLY want to know who brokered the deal to sell that rag for A DOLLAR. Seriously, because I've got some ice to sell to eskimos, and anyone who can sell something at a price that is 100% of what its actually worth is someone I want working for me.

If it really is true that Obama inspires the revelation that "the modern presidency may be too much for one person to handle" then we must all be ghosts, because I was totally unaware that he was the last person on earth.

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Hillary Would 'Avoid' TSA Pat-Downs

 Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said she would not want to submit to an airport security pat-down, one of the new "enhanced" measures instituted by the Transportation Safety Administration ahead of the holiday season to screen airline passengers. 

"Not if I could avoid it. No, I mean, who would?" Clinton said during an interview aired on Sunday's "Face the Nation." 

Read the rest at CBS (via Memeorandum)

So basically...

Shhh! Nobody tell her the alternative...

I disavow any and all responsibility for the production of any vomit on your person...making this post may have cost me a monitor, so shake it off.

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Amercians Urge Obama To Move Back To The Center!

I love this post from Right Network...

Right Network launched in September, and if you haven't gone there already check it out now! (If you want to leave a comment, click the image to go directly to the post)

I think what they're doing over there is truly innovative, and if conservatives want to start taking back the culture sites like that are going to be a major factor in getting us there with their brand of "television," and art like this...IF we support them!

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Destined to be World's Worst Parents?

I debated whether I wanted this any attention. But I know I have a lot of pro-life friends out there that might want to vote at

Basically a couple is putting to an internet vote whether or not they should abort their child. I don't know the motivation, but as of this writing abortion is winning.

I haven't voted yet, because I don't know if I really want to be another log on these a-holes fire. I might, to counter the jerks evil enough to tip it over to "abort."

Part of me hopes this is some sort of pro-life stunt, to make a point this country hates abortion. The current tally doesn't make it look that way though.

Voting ends December 7.


When the post was initially written Friday evening life was winning by A LOT, something to the tune of 80-20. So a lot of people who get jollies off of voting for infanticide have had a very busy weekend.

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An Endless Circle of Stupidity

The Rally to Restore Sanity is now yesterday's news, but Bob's message in this vlog is absolutely timeless...

Get more of videos at Drinking With Bob

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