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It's 9 Years Later and All I Got Was This Lousy Blog Post

Since I was a little boy all I wanted to do with my life was draw comic books. I loved superhero comics for as long as I could remember, and I don't know where it came from, but I always had the urge to draw them. I enjoyed that it much I was sold being a comic book artist, and I tried to make good on that...

On September 11, 2001 I was a 20 year old art major in college. I didn't have any care in the world whatsoever. I knew we were the greatest country in the world but I didn't know or necessarily cared about the "how" or "why." I had political debates with friends who literally believed our country was untouchable because of our geography relative to any belligerent nation....we were so, so stupid. We were taking it ALL for granted.

I live on the west coast, so I was still asleep when the attacks happened. I woke up to a friend leaving a message on my answering machine around 6 A.M. my time that the World Trade Center was "bombed." I literally thought I was dreaming, and went right back to sleep.

An hour or so later I woke up, remembering the message I heard. I looked at the answering machine and saw that the message light was blinking. I didn't play the message because my roommate was still asleep. I went to the living room in the fraternity house I was living in and found three other guys standing around it, with worried looks on their faces. I got scared, because I started to realize it wasn't a dream. I stood there and watched the footage, until that moment I only knew such scenes from the movies.

There is no way I can understate this...my world crashed down with the towers that day. For the first time I understood that even when we are at our strongest the freedom we take for granted is SO fragile, and there was a feeling of shame that it took thousands of innocent people dying to finally figure it out.

I haven't been the same since, 9-11 was one of two events in my life that steered me into being a part of the fight to preserve our nation's freedoms today. I cared about world events before that day, but only in the context of arguing for the sport of it.

Don't get me wrong, arguing with liberals can be fun, but a 9 year (and counting) journey began that day, a focus was developing in me. I started becoming too aware that the real world had to trump the world of comics and superheroes I loved so much since I was a child.

To make a long story a bit shorter I put all of those things away a couple of years later, I still love them, but I care about more important things now. The Looking Spoon is a culmination of a long overdue education mixed with a myriad of experiences (from political activism, to trying my hand at stand-up comedy, to learning web development, and everything in-between).

I truly want to make this website more than just a personal outlet for the wise cracks, bad jokes, and silly images swirling in my head. I don't know if it's true, but I at least feel like I'm doing something to contribute to the fight for what is right for the country, and more importantly the culture.

Ground Zero is more than a destination in New York City. For me, and I'm sure for millions, it has been a state of mind.

I know this is just a blog, but like all other Americans I have so much on my plate, and with the talents and abilities God gave me this is the best I have to offer at the moment. I hope someday it can be even more, because I have not forgotten the pain of September 11, and memories of the victims of that day will always have a friend in me. They will never cease to be worth fighting for.

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Alternatives to Burning the Koran

As of this writing I don't know who is burning Korans and who isn't (or depending on when you read this, "did or didn't"), but this is an open letter to any holy person who thinks this is a good idea.

Dear Inglorious Pastards,

Look at the mess you're creating. People yell at you not to do stupid stuff and you decide that you want to do it anyway. Hey! You should be a politician. Even better, since Obama is "obviously Christian" it seems you'd fit right in with his harem of spiritual advisors.

Look, I'm not concerned with people's fears of making Muslims angry. Turkey sandwiches shaped like Mohammed make them want to chop off more heads than the Highlander racing a guillotine. I'm just not convinced that you're "hearing" the answer to your prayers on this matter. Do you really think the consequences of burning Korans would be something Jesus would embrace?

At this point it's really just all about you isn't it? This is your 15 minutes and you're going to eat it up. You're starting to make the diaper lady from NASA look like a classy babe. So knock it off, seriously. You're a one-man band, and its only because nobody wants to jam with you.

Put the matches down! If you really want to demonstrate your frustration with Islam I have a few modest proposals that I strongly suggest you consider in place of your bonfire:

  1. Put the Koran on a Microsoft Word document....copy the file 1,000 of times, or until your computer starts asking for a burka (whichever comes first).....and then....DELETE THEM!

  2. If having a fire is what really gets you going then you can alternatively throw the computer into a fire

  3. A more expensive option would be to download and delete the Koran a bunch of times with the aptly named Kindle

  4. Thinking outside the box a bit...you can douse them in hot sauce (its more satisfying if there's pictures of flames on the bottle).

  5. Or you can give them to really flamboyantly gay men

If you're no longer interested in "burning" here are a few other ideas...

  1. Go through the Koran and "dog-ear" your favorite pages (they HATE dogs).

  2. Open your Koran up to the middle, put in a hot dog, close it up and call the book a bun. (don't try eating it unless your desperately low on fiber)

  3. Go to a book store and switch sections containing all the books on Islam with something that would be offensive to them, like, LGBT...................or pretty much any other section.

  4. Use a peeled of label of a beer bottle as a bookmark

  5. If its a girl Koran rip off the cover

  6. If its a girl Koran and brand new you can arrange for it to be married to some dirty old man with a fetish for young books

  7. Finally, instead of deleting the Koran Word docs on your computer you can "find and replace" every instance of "Mohammed" with "da Bomb"

So there you have it, burning is too symbolic of permanent destruction, its just wrong. You have to find other ways to do the wrong thing the right way. Of course, you can't succeed in not offending radical Islam, but at least you run the chance of being less offensive to the rest of us.

;-D

How does this letter solve anything? The answer to that is easy...it doesn't. It can't, but it does help exhaust my overactive imagination!

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To Demotivate Environmentalism...

Inspired by this previous post...


demotivation enviralmentalist


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Al Gore's Very Own Nuke 'Em High

In an honor that could be misinterpreted as a slap in the face, a Los Angeles school district has named a new academy after Al Gore -- the only problem is the school was built on toxic soil.

The Los Angeles Times reports that crews worked up to the Labor Day weekend to try to clean up the Carson-Gore Academy of Environmental Sciences in the run-up to its Sept. 13 opening.

The $75.5 million facility was named after Gore, who has made bringing awareness to climate change a personal cause since leaving office, and environmental author Rachel Carson. The former vice president was never informed the school would bear his name.

Wonder why....


Read the rest via Fox News

Read the original LA Times article here

Let me be the first to say AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This will go down as the greatest "happy accident" of my lifetime.

Enviralmentalists (that's not a typo, they have a virus in their brain) are saying this school is an affront to Gore's life work....

AN AFFRONT! This is just priceless! As if the Climategate emails aren't enough now scientists are saying their estimates on icecap loss needs to be slashed by 50%!

An affront they say....Al Gore's entire life is an affront to the truth. Even if (and at this point its a big if) science truly supported the snake oil he sells this PREACHA MAN of the church of Global Warming schtick gets really freakin' old when you have to strain to hear him over the roar of his private jets or through the fence of his energy guzzling mansions.

We are given dire warnings to change the way we live or face environmental Armageddon from this 21st century Greenhouse Milli Vanilli and there is only one conclusion you can draw from any of it...Heidi Montag's breasts are more real than the threat of global warming



It's not even open and it's already the best school ever.

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Oprah's Post Retirement Gig?

Its Oprah's final season. So what does a daytime television diva do after she calls it quits?


Phantom of the Oprah


Click on the image to enlarge it.

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Some Random Thoughts About Liberals

Heres a bunch of random thoughts in my head that, at the moment, I don't know how to convert into posts in and of themselves...so I'm laying them all out here...


Here are some budget neutral ways we can reduce the deficit....

1.Sell all of the unsold Obama memorabilia back to China

2. After forcing people to air the tires on their car everyday we can make the savings on gas taxable income

3. eBay the real birth certificate(s)

4. Take out an insurance policy against whats left of Obama's approval rating

5. If I had dime for every time a Democrat publicly dropped an F-bomb....


I think Obama should have a stash



I mean...why not? Right?


We should direct stimulus money to fund development of true "bridge to nowhere" so Obama's presidency can finally have a clear direction

We should also direct stimulus money to funding more "shovel ready" jobs after the Democrats get buried in November


We need to find a way to convert the pitch of Harry Reid's voice into electricity
or
When Sharon Angle defeats him he could begin promising career as a dog whistle


"I miss Janet Reno," or is it "I mister Janet Reno?"

The policy for admittance into the White House should mirror any policy the President decides to enforce on illegal immigration

Just imagine the how much better the "Recovery Summer" would've been if the signs promoting it cost $20K instead of $10K

Gay marriage is a big mess that really needs to be straightened out


Campaign: Probama
Election: Gobama
Media Appearances: Hobama
Socialism: Nobama
Falling approval rating: Blowbama
BP Oil Spill: Slowbama
Gay Marriage: Homobama
Illegal Immigration: Para bailar la Obamba!
Talking about him "like a dog": Ruh Rohbama


Isn't it time to change the term "bald faced lies" to "telling a load of Carville's?"

Having conquered "senile" I think Pelosi should start looking her age too

Biden would sound a lot smarter if we surgically fused his mouth to a kazoo

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Caption Fun with Hillary and Her Hijab

So what the heck is going on here?!?


Hillary holding hands up


They say a picture says a thousand words...lets see if I can find a few of 'em....


"By how many points does the GOP lead in the generic ballot? This many."

Learning to pray to you know who

"I really think the Ground Zero Mosque should go here"

RAISE THE ROOF!

Miming the box Obama keeps her in

Real Muslims wear blue?

"How many times today has your approval rating dropped? This many."

SPIRIT FINGERS!

"Bowing to everyone is bad for your back, you gotta do it like the French"

"Look at me! I'm falling for Obama's bull-shut-yo-mouth!"

She is secretly telegraphing that she misses "W"

PRAISE JESUS!

One way to rile up the natives in the Muslim world is to hike up those sleeves and show a little wrist

"Hey Hillary, show us what your jump shot looks like"

"How many times today has Barack made me feel like it should've been me? This many."


Alright guys, show me what you got!

O>;-)

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A Reason Obama's Critics Talk About Him 'Like a Dog'...

In a Labor Day address touting how the economy is moving in the right direction if you hold it up to a mirror Obama went off prompter for a second...



If he wants his critics to stop talking about him "like a dog" then he should stop lying like one.

Whats his batting average now for going off of the TOTUS reservation anyway? I'm pretty sure its a big fat 0, when is he going to learn to stick to the script before people start confusing him with Biden?

Last spring I posted a suggestion for a new teleprompter when the president rambled on about nothing for 17 minutes a townhall event. As a friendly reminder I would like to reintroduce my idea of what Obama's new teleprompter needs to be...



Please Mr. President, we beg you...read your teleprompter

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Biden Discovers the War On Poverty Endgame

Biden's War on Poverty Endgame

Biden's War on Poverty Endgame


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Making Lemonade from the 'Lemon' of Sexual Assault

I know this is a really odd and creepy title for this post, but I promise the videos below explain it all...

You have to watch this video first BEFORE watching the one below it.



Again, only watch this following video AFTER you watch the first one.



I don't know, it really feels like theres an "IT" factor to this guy....


Obama watching Tv


If this came true Biden would say it was a big f**king steal.

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