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The Friends of Obama League

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I know his approval rating is dropping faster than Pelosi's face after some bad botox, so this piece may seem obsolete, but having an approval rating in the 40's is still significant. A lot of people still don't get it about this guy. If 40% of your body was suffering from 3rd degree burns...you might not make it.

This was based on one of my satire headlines I wrote about a year ago:

Obama Announces Establishment Of Official Fan Club: Friends Of Obama League (FOOL)

I know its not the typical smart ass piece people are coming to expect from me...like yesterday's post...but I enjoyed doing it, I do graphic design for really boring subject matter for a living, so it was fun nice to "design" something artistic to my liking for a change.

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I Am America

I know this is a big snore for liberals who prefer whiney rock ballads done in a "progressive" light that don't actually say anything real or inspire the listener to fight for change that is better. This song and video is none of that, and its pretty awesome, if you like this then click here to check out Krista Branch at iTunes.

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I Hope To Someday Wake Up To This News About Robert Gibbs


Robert Gibbs gets replaced with a monkey


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When Haiku Attacks Liberals

I like doing haiku's from time to time because I love the challenge of trying to cleverly and/or humorously make a point within the very strict confines that the rules of a haiku provide. It's a really fun challenge. After all, as Shakespeare put it, "brevity is the soul of wit."

Since I've been doing the haikus I have received many written by readers who wanted to share their haiku skills with me. I often find myself humbled and realizing I'm not that great at them. Below are some of the best others have shared with me.


Dem’s lower taxes ?
Just like the plugs in Joe’s head
‘Tis an illusion.


Obama the ass,
Crapping on America,
Like we’re his toilet.


My ObamaCare
All Doctors Flee in Terror
Hope you don't get sick.


Michelle has two butts
one, directly behind her
one is president


Throwing out a pitch
gives the measure of a man
when tossed like a bitch


My name is Al Gore
Come to me for salvation
Blameless: Carbon-free.


Global warming, Not!
Climate change bovine scat, Jack!
Algore, idiot.


Alahu Akhbar!
Jihad, Jihad, and Jihad!
“...Earth has a fever.”


A gaffe a minute
Lifelong public employee
Vapid comb-over


Ancient Proverb Says
Man who puts Hairplugs on ass
Still left with an ass

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The Secret to Black Panther King Samir Shabazz's Hatred of Crackas

If you've been passed out for the last couple of weeks here's an important video on the New Black Panther Party that you should see...



What the hell makes this guy tick? I would be fascinated to know how/why he became so psychotic...but I think there is something deeper. Hitler hated the Jews...but he was one...this guy hates "crackas ass crackas"

Hmm, I have a theory.....


King Samir Shabazz in Cracka Asses Magazine

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The Haiku About Harry Reid's Son

While there's no animosity between Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and his son, the younger Reid's use of his first name on his campaign's website and television ads is telling, a veteran political observer in Nevada said.

Obviously he's trying to downplay his last name," said Jon Ralston, a columnist for the Las Vegas Sun and publisher of the Ralston Report. "In so obviously downplaying it, he's called even more attention to it."

-from this story on CNN



What is in a name?
Rory! Rory! Rory....Reid?
Go with Mud instead

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Scholars Should Rank The Presidents With A Roulette Wheel

I don't do mad very often, because I save it up for posts like this.

With internet porn and sex being flashed in front of our faces constantly I'm sure its getting tougher for nerds, who have to work harder than ever, to find activities that allow them to avoid wanting to lose their virginity...but...It looks like the nations elite squad of presidential scholars have found a way to remain preoccupied...

According to Politico a new poll of presidential rankings has found President Obama to be in a stratospheric 15th place (no I didn't view that number through a mirror...I wish) compared to all of his predecessors.

The Siena College poll, which surveyed 238 presidential scholars at U.S. colleges and universities, asked scholars to rate the nation’s 43 chief executives on 20 attributes ranging from legislative accomplishments to integrity and imagination.

Imagination? The way Jimmy Carter judges George W. Bush as his inferior he must've scored first place on that account. (Well...actually he ranked 21, Teddy Roosevelt was first)

Now, I know exactly what you're thinking.....How did William Henry Harrison rank?

Well he was 30th in party leadership, 27th in handing the economy, and 24th in executive appointments, and then he was IS THIS LIST !$^$&#*# FOR REAL!?!

Why why why WHY WHY WHY is William Henry Harrison even allowed to be on the list? The man was president for ONE MONTH. The nations so-called leading "scholars" placed this guy 35th overall. The guy who presided for a month, got really sick and then DIED beat out 8 other guys!

In the category of "luck" this one-month pony got 42nd out of 43.....what happened to 43rd place? Did that guy get caught eating manure or something?

A more accurate list could've been put together using only a roulette wheel.

As an astronaut, look out for MY rankings on the best galaxies to visit

Do we really have to call these lefty morons who judge our presidents "scholars?" If so then words clearly don't have meaning anymore. I'm no expert on presidents so it's obviously I need to get a phD (get, not earn, I'm convinced the schools these idiots went to were just giving them away) to understand how feeble minded I am right now to think that men who never actually had time to be president SHOULDN'T BE ON THE DAMN LIST!

Conservatives will have their hearts warmed to know that George W. Bush, the man who navigated, with moderate success, one of the biggest geo-political toilet plunges in history, ranked 39th...four places below the guy whose only accomplishment, literally, was being inaugurated.

Meanwhile, President Teleprompter's highest ranking was 6th ....for imagination...a hah...a hah hah hah....and at 15th he beats Ronald Reagan's 18th place.

I could keep going, but I think the point has been made that the worlds best comedians couldn't write jokes that could even begin to overtake the comedy that is this list.

If you're REALLY bored, or in a very good mood and you want to put an end to either of these things, or if you've ever wondered what bad mental masturbation looks like, then go ahead and check out all of the actual rankings here.

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Top 10 reasons Al and Tipper Gore Split Up

I've seen a few of these already that I thought were ok...hopefully this one is better than the rest!


10. She realized his "I love you's" were only sincere when she was standing in front of a mirror


9. Tipper was tired of hearing him recall old Vietnam stories written by his speech writers


8. Al was way too obsessed with BUSH that's not Tipper's


7. They hadn’t had sex in so long Al started calling her “The Lock Box”


6. Tipper disagreed that spicing up the bedroom with role-playing fantasies should include "winning Florida"


5. They started to doubt their compatibility after their very first kiss at the 2000 DNC


4. Tipper was forced to sleep on the couch to make room on the bed for Al's Oscar, and the Academy Award he won for An Inconvenient Truth


3. "First one to divorce his wife is a rotten egg!" said Bill Clinton


2. She realized El Niño is Al's love child with Mother Nature


1. Divorce was payment for her silence on the global warming fraud


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Levi Johnston is the Usefullest Idiot of Them All

Levi Johnston is apologizing to the Palins, and admits he flat out lied about the things he said about them.

In other breaking news, the sun is hot, water is wet, and Senator Lindsey Graham is such a wiener that he's is the only Republican endorsed by Barney Frank.

This is just another example of Hollywood taking a useful idiot it was wielding against an effective conservative, recognizing its expired usefulness, and exercising its gag reflex.

Godspeed little man.

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Obama vs Arizona Is Just The Intermission

Ok, so Arizona is going to have a fight about over illegal immigration with Obama....I say lets do this! Justice Kennedy just announced he's not leaving until Obama does, so lets take this bad boy to the SCOTUS.

I have a clever t-shirt idea, but "dumb ass" doesn't rhyme with "hope"

In spite of their best efforts to paint those of us who favor SB1070 as racist, an overwhelming majority of the country is with Arizona on this and Obama knows it. So why does he insist on being on the losing end of this issue?

He's trying to distract the country from the fact that 48% of us are ready to throw an "I told you so" parade for the rest of it, whose reasons for voting for this president can't extend beyond monosyllabic bumper stickers.

Political parties always sink or swim on the health of the economy and Barry wants you to forget that, so he's picking on a state where 98% of the country doesn't live, and would never vote for him in 2012 anyway.

Barney Frank gets the "winner"

Its an easy target....that's all his fragile teleprompter psyche can handle. Obama can't handle the hard stuff, even when the winning choice is clearer than an arm wrestling match between Melissa Etheridge and Harry Reid.

Iran want's nukes, pelicans want clean water, Napolitano and Kagan want to be seen together in public and Arizona just wants to freakin' protect its people. Yet, somehow, he thinks staring down Jan Brewer is going to help him.

He expects us to fall for this distraction trap. It's so like a liberal to believe everyone else thinks like them...

I know one of the perks for Pelosi being speaker is the close calls Biden and this president apparently have...but we voters can walk and chew gum at the same time without almost killing ourselves. So unless Obama is planning a 4 month long tap dance routine on Iran's nukes, this cute little attempt at changing the subject isn't going to make the country forget about the fact that his administration is one big word-that-Biden-says-in-front-of-a-hot-mic-on-national-television up.

I've heard a lot of conservative commentators complain that we shouldn't let this lawsuit distract us from the real issues that highlight the country's Biggest LOSER's achievements. If the numbers are telling the story economists believe they're telling, then the bad economy is sticking around for quite some time yet...sitting front row and center, with a bucket of popcorn, and ready for the greatest show on earth that's set to play in November.

Fighting this idiotic lawsuit on behalf of illegal immigrants isn't a distraction, its just the intermission.

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