Since becoming president there has been the ongoing question of why President Obama doesn't have time for church, when asked about it he says sites the problem of encountering security issues everywhere he goes.
Look, I don't make it to church every week (I should), so I can cut him some slack, but can we come up with a better excuse already? Security concerns, really? This is coming from the guy who flies Air Force One around the world like he's taking a trip to Starbucks.
Anyway, I'm starting to think maybe all he makes time for is the church of Chuck Schultz.
And now, for a reading from the gospel according to Sally:
Now I get it...its Bush's fault!Add a comment
Click to see a larger versionAdd a comment
So the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People votes that the Tea Party is racist a day after the first black woman to be First Lady in the country's history speaks on increasing intensity against apparent continued racial inequality. Isn't that like the pot calling the...no no no...I don't hate a sufficient amount of cracka iotas to be allowed to go there....
It really sucks that conservatives are so intellectually inferior compared to liberals that we are the only ones that see the irony of Michelle Obama telling the NAACP that black people still have a tough road to hoe in America as if her husband's name is Jim Crowe.
Honestly, I don't care to be lectured by someone who only became a fan of America after she realized she could be its first lady. This is America, Michelle, not the 2005 Chicago White Sox no fairweather fans allowed.
To be fair to the NAACP they do say they are not condemning the entire Tea Party, just its racist fringe...
If only the Tea Party were considerate enough to be more like the Black Panthers, it would save the NAACP the trouble of having to make any distinction in the first place.
How about we get a resolution denouncing the racist elements of the Obama Administration, known as...the Obama Administration. Or is the next phase of "Advancing" colored people actually having a Department of "Justice" that drops charges of already convicted Black Panthers who obstruct the electoral process and publicly advocate the murder of white people and their babies?
This is madness! How are the Obama's not embarrassed by any of this? I know the media protects them, but I'm pretty sure even Paris Hilton has more self-respect.
I don't know...Maybe I'm being too harsh, in fact, I know I am. I'm sure Michelle Obama left the NAACP and went to visit the oil spill in the gulf and brought her class and dignity with her there, finally....
.........um........Nice shirt Michelle........ What did you do? Ask your fashion czar what goes best with oil spill?
Man oh man, is it 2013 yet?Add a comment
This is a fantastic cartoon from Right Change. Check out their website here. What I love most about this is its all in her own words! By the looks of their site these guys came to play, so check them out!
Click the image above to see a larger (more legible) version.
I know his approval rating is dropping faster than Pelosi's face after some bad botox, so this piece may seem obsolete, but having an approval rating in the 40's is still significant. A lot of people still don't get it about this guy. If 40% of your body was suffering from 3rd degree burns...you might not make it.
This was based on one of my satire headlines I wrote about a year ago:
Obama Announces Establishment Of Official Fan Club: Friends Of Obama League (FOOL)
I know its not the typical smart ass piece people are coming to expect from me...like yesterday's post...but I enjoyed doing it, I do graphic design for really boring subject matter for a living, so it was fun nice to "design" something artistic to my liking for a change.Add a comment
I know this is a big snore for liberals who prefer whiney rock ballads done in a "progressive" light that don't actually say anything real or inspire the listener to fight for change that is better. This song and video is none of that, and its pretty awesome, if you like this then click here to check out Krista Branch at iTunes.Add a comment
Click the image above to see a larger version.Add a comment
I like doing haiku's from time to time because I love the challenge of trying to cleverly and/or humorously make a point within the very strict confines that the rules of a haiku provide. It's a really fun challenge. After all, as Shakespeare put it, "brevity is the soul of wit."
Since I've been doing the haikus I have received many written by readers who wanted to share their haiku skills with me. I often find myself humbled and realizing I'm not that great at them. Below are some of the best others have shared with me.
Dem’s lower taxes ?
Just like the plugs in Joe’s head
‘Tis an illusion.
Obama the ass,
Crapping on America,
Like we’re his toilet.
All Doctors Flee in Terror
Hope you don't get sick.
Michelle has two butts
one, directly behind her
one is president
Throwing out a pitch
gives the measure of a man
when tossed like a bitch
My name is Al Gore
Come to me for salvation
Global warming, Not!
Climate change bovine scat, Jack!
Jihad, Jihad, and Jihad!
“...Earth has a fever.”
A gaffe a minute
Lifelong public employee
Ancient Proverb Says
Man who puts Hairplugs on ass
Still left with an ass
If you've been passed out for the last couple of weeks here's an important video on the New Black Panther Party that you should see...
What the hell makes this guy tick? I would be fascinated to know how/why he became so psychotic...but I think there is something deeper. Hitler hated the Jews...but he was one...this guy hates "crackas ass crackas"
Hmm, I have a theory.....
Add a comment
While there's no animosity between Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and his son, the younger Reid's use of his first name on his campaign's website and television ads is telling, a veteran political observer in Nevada said.
Obviously he's trying to downplay his last name," said Jon Ralston, a columnist for the Las Vegas Sun and publisher of the Ralston Report. "In so obviously downplaying it, he's called even more attention to it."
Add a comment
What is in a name?
Rory! Rory! Rory....Reid?
Go with Mud instead
I don't do mad very often, because I save it up for posts like this.
With internet porn and sex being flashed in front of our faces constantly I'm sure its getting tougher for nerds, who have to work harder than ever, to find activities that allow them to avoid wanting to lose their virginity...but...It looks like the nations elite squad of presidential scholars have found a way to remain preoccupied...
According to Politico a new poll of presidential rankings has found President Obama to be in a stratospheric 15th place (no I didn't view that number through a mirror...I wish) compared to all of his predecessors.
Imagination? The way Jimmy Carter judges George W. Bush as his inferior he must've scored first place on that account. (Well...actually he ranked 21, Teddy Roosevelt was first)
Now, I know exactly what you're thinking.....How did William Henry Harrison rank?
Well he was 30th in party leadership, 27th in handing the economy, and 24th in executive appointments, and then he was IS THIS LIST !$^$&#*# FOR REAL!?!
Why why why WHY WHY WHY is William Henry Harrison even allowed to be on the list? The man was president for ONE MONTH. The nations so-called leading "scholars" placed this guy 35th overall. The guy who presided for a month, got really sick and then DIED beat out 8 other guys!
In the category of "luck" this one-month pony got 42nd out of 43.....what happened to 43rd place? Did that guy get caught eating manure or something?
A more accurate list could've been put together using only a roulette wheel.
Do we really have to call these lefty morons who judge our presidents "scholars?" If so then words clearly don't have meaning anymore. I'm no expert on presidents so it's obviously I need to get a phD (get, not earn, I'm convinced the schools these idiots went to were just giving them away) to understand how feeble minded I am right now to think that men who never actually had time to be president SHOULDN'T BE ON THE DAMN LIST!
Conservatives will have their hearts warmed to know that George W. Bush, the man who navigated, with moderate success, one of the biggest geo-political toilet plunges in history, ranked 39th...four places below the guy whose only accomplishment, literally, was being inaugurated.
Meanwhile, President Teleprompter's highest ranking was 6th ....for imagination...a hah...a hah hah hah....and at 15th he beats Ronald Reagan's 18th place.
I could keep going, but I think the point has been made that the worlds best comedians couldn't write jokes that could even begin to overtake the comedy that is this list.
If you're REALLY bored, or in a very good mood and you want to put an end to either of these things, or if you've ever wondered what bad mental masturbation looks like, then go ahead and check out all of the actual rankings here.Add a comment
I've seen a few of these already that I thought were ok...hopefully this one is better than the rest!
10. She realized his "I love you's" were only sincere when she was standing in front of a mirror
9. Tipper was tired of hearing him recall old Vietnam stories written by his speech writers
8. Al was way too obsessed with BUSH that's not Tipper's
7. They hadn’t had sex in so long Al started calling her “The Lock Box”
6. Tipper disagreed that spicing up the bedroom with role-playing fantasies should include "winning Florida"
5. They started to doubt their compatibility after their very first kiss at the 2000 DNC
4. Tipper was forced to sleep on the couch to make room on the bed for Al's Oscar, and the Academy Award he won for An Inconvenient Truth
3. "First one to divorce his wife is a rotten egg!" said Bill Clinton
2. She realized El Niño is Al's love child with Mother Nature
1. Divorce was payment for her silence on the global warming fraud
Levi Johnston is apologizing to the Palins, and admits he flat out lied about the things he said about them.
In other breaking news, the sun is hot, water is wet, and Senator Lindsey Graham is such a wiener that he's is the only Republican endorsed by Barney Frank.
This is just another example of Hollywood taking a useful idiot it was wielding against an effective conservative, recognizing its expired usefulness, and exercising its gag reflex.
Godspeed little man.Add a comment
Ok, so Arizona is going to have a fight about over illegal immigration with Obama....I say lets do this! Justice Kennedy just announced he's not leaving until Obama does, so lets take this bad boy to the SCOTUS.
In spite of their best efforts to paint those of us who favor SB1070 as racist, an overwhelming majority of the country is with Arizona on this and Obama knows it. So why does he insist on being on the losing end of this issue?
He's trying to distract the country from the fact that 48% of us are ready to throw an "I told you so" parade for the rest of it, whose reasons for voting for this president can't extend beyond monosyllabic bumper stickers.
Political parties always sink or swim on the health of the economy and Barry wants you to forget that, so he's picking on a state where 98% of the country doesn't live, and would never vote for him in 2012 anyway.
Its an easy target....that's all his fragile teleprompter psyche can handle. Obama can't handle the hard stuff, even when the winning choice is clearer than an arm wrestling match between Melissa Etheridge and Harry Reid.
Iran want's nukes, pelicans want clean water, Napolitano and Kagan want to be seen together in public and Arizona just wants to freakin' protect its people. Yet, somehow, he thinks staring down Jan Brewer is going to help him.
He expects us to fall for this distraction trap. It's so like a liberal to believe everyone else thinks like them...
I know one of the perks for Pelosi being speaker is the close calls Biden and this president apparently have...but we voters can walk and chew gum at the same time without almost killing ourselves. So unless Obama is planning a 4 month long tap dance routine on Iran's nukes, this cute little attempt at changing the subject isn't going to make the country forget about the fact that his administration is one big word-that-Biden-says-in-front-of-a-hot-mic-on-national-television up.
I've heard a lot of conservative commentators complain that we shouldn't let this lawsuit distract us from the real issues that highlight the country's Biggest LSER's
achievements. If the numbers are telling the story economists believe they're telling, then the bad economy is sticking around for quite some time yet...sitting front row and center, with a bucket of popcorn, and ready for the greatest show on earth that's set to play in November.
Fighting this idiotic lawsuit on behalf of illegal immigrants isn't a distraction, its just the intermission.Add a comment
When you think things couldn't possibly get dumberer (its a word...when playing Scrabble with Biden...) with the Obama Administration, check out NASA Administrator Charles Bolden's attempt to employ the comedy's classic rule of three with Al Jazeera...
The FOREMOST item on NASA's agenda is to "reach out to the Muslim world?!?" to help them "feel good..."
Either somebody needs to get our president a cigarette, because he MUST be suffering from nicotine withdrawal, or Obama is bored with being president and now wants to be an Asstronaut.
I thought that NASA's agenda was to explore outer space! Not come up with a political policy that belongs there.
Unless I didn't dig deep enough, I'm totally unaware of a single nation in the Muslim world that has any space program to speak of. Russia and Japan, mentioned by Boden, do have their own programs. So other than experimenting on the effects zero gravity has on sand, car bombs, and mercy killings, what scientific contributions can the Muslim world seriously offer to any space program?
In other news, college students writing their thesis for a Masters Degree will now be required to reach out to the Kindergarten world for contributions in an effort to make them feel good about learning their ABC's.
Is this yet another example of what change looks like?
Would it really kill Hollywood to return to making movies with positive and (gasp) patriotic overtones? Nobody watches the anti-war, America bashing garbage they put out anyway.
The first and only movie they're going to slip past me is
Crapitar Avatar. Which by far is the most OVERRATED movie of all time, and that's without the Bush bashing anti-war undertones. I firmly believe that if we actually knew the plot of that flick, and didn't hear so much about how awesome the 3D technology was going to be, then most of us would've never given it the time of day. In the end we would've seen that instead of it being the highest grossing movie of all time it would've been more like James Cameron's sequel to Titanic.
Now, I have to confess I'm no connoisseur of old movies, and I'm starting to wonder why not. Thankfully my brother is, and he sent me this.
Happy July 4th...again!
:-DAdd a comment
I was at the beach with my wife yesterday, and at beginning of the pier at the beach stands a flag pole, and the American flag was waving in the wind.
I did what happens to me almost ever time I see our flag wave...I stared at it, and for the moment I was watching it the rest of the world didn't exist. I become totally lost in the beauty of its waving, and all of the significance that flag carries. I think about how awesome our country is, and how much pride I have inside of myself to be an American. That happens almost every time I see our flag wave. We are so blessed.
I also get sad that there are actually others out there who don't feel the same way, and that waving the flag is just so bourgeois, and that statements like this...
...sound more like the ravings of the superstitious than the acknowledgement of Truth required to keep this country as great as it is.
I want to say that our complacency with freedom makes such seeming contempt inevitable, but I can't believe it. Since the beginning of the American journey the wind of God's power and greatness has been at our back, and it continues to blow only so long as we know he's there. I know it's not easy, but not only do we have to continue to pray for God's blessing on our nation, we have to start encouraging each other to do so as well.
We are great because we asked God to make us great. If we lose that greatness there will be no other way to get it back except through Him.
When I pray for our country I pray that we never forget this Truth. I especially pray that our leaders remember it, and that those who have forgotten it will someday come to know it again.
May God Bless America, and may we continue to actively seek that blessing.
Happy Independence Day!Add a comment
iOwnTheWorld.com is on The List, and it's AWESOME, and if you haven't seen it yet go there now, don't walk, run. They do a lot of the same things I do, but better and more often. Definitely one of my most favorite blogs.
If you don't know Walter, then the video below is your chance to meet him!
Add a comment