Follow Me on Pinterest

Top 10 Reasons Obama Delayed His Oil Spill Response

Everyone knows how this works, if I missed any good ones let me know by commenting below!


10. Didn’t know about the spill because the teleprompters were on vacation.


9. Someone challenged him to see how many rounds of golf he can play before people get pissed.


8. Didn’t want to act until his team created an oil spill graphic that incorporated his logo


7. Was too busy waterboarding Rahm Emmanuel for answers on why his cabinet calls him President Jenga.


6. Didn’t know where to go because “Caution Slippery Floor” signs wont stand on water.


5. Wasn’t sure it was actually that bad after seeing gulf residents with “this is what change looks like” signs.


4. Clean up the ocean? Pssh he was just waiting for the iPhone to release the app for that.


3. Wanted to test Keith Olbermann’s theory that rednecks would avoid the beach if the ocean was black.


2. Hasn’t cared about oil since Air Force One was retrofitted to run on the magic of the 2008 election.


1. Being asked “did you plug the hole yet daddy” at least 50 times while being president was actually an item on his "bucket list."


Add a comment

So BP Cares About LITTLE People, But What About The AMERICAN People?

You probably know by now what the Chairman of BP Carl-Henric Svanberg has had to say about who BP cares about...


Y


Small people, small people, we care about the SMALL people...who are these small people? The leprechauns dancing in his head?

The collection of Barack action figures that the president forgot to gift to the queen?

DENNIS KUCINICH?

In any case, to quote the great Paul Harvey, here is the REST of the story...


BP chairman hung upside down by Statue of Liberty


Click the image above to see a larger version.

Add a comment

A Much Worse Spill Than Oil in the Gulf

You've likely seen cartoons from conservative cartoonist Michael Ramirez in the past, this is the best political cartoon I've seen in a while. This guy is awesome. Check out more of his work here.

red ink spill

Add a comment

Obama's Newest Logo

BP = Barack's Pompeii

I think I'm starting to understand one of the reasons why President Amateur Hour slaps his logo on EVERYTHING. To give the perception that HE is in CONTROL. I'm not sure that tactic is going to actually work for him for too much longer....


Obama BP logo

Add a comment

The Source of Congressman Bob Etheridge's Anger?

I think this could help explain why North Carolina Democratic Congressman Bob Etheridge attacked those college students the other day...click the respective years to see the "before and after" of the whole story.


  • 1995
  • 2010

Add a comment

The Haiku About Obama's Competence

New to the Haiku Section



My first haiku shows
That experience matters
To do the job right
The very first time


President Barack Obama





Add a comment

The Liberal Limerick About Obama

Who better to start doing limericks about?


Feel free to comment any great Liberal Limericks of your own!

Add a comment

The Ultimate Blame On Bush

We conservatives like to gag when Obama, almost half way through his presidency (note I didn't say first term) continues to blame Bush for everything except the hangnail on his finger.

I don't know how much conservatives can really quarrel with this excuse.



We may "miss" W now, but there's something to this. Reagan's success got George H.W. Bush elected, and Clinton's "success" did get more people to vote for Al Gore.

This is from No Sheeples Here, and I'm filing it under "I wish I thought of this".

Add a comment

Conservative Satire Headlines June 7-11

Here are the latest additions to the Satire Headlines Archive (starting with the most recent):



DURING VISIT TO GULF OBAMA CALLS DIBS ON TARBALLS SO HE CAN SAVE MONEY AT HIS DRIVING RANGE - June 11

HELEN THOMAS CONFESSES RESENTMENT OF JEWS BEGAN AS A LITTLE GIRL GETTING "JERKED AROUND BY THIS MOSES GUY" - June 11

HARRY REID POINTS OUT SAME RASMUSSEN POLL SHOWS HIM BEATING SHARON ANGLE IF THE DECIDING FACTOR WAS FEMININITY - June 10

PETA FILES CLASS ACTION SUIT CHARGING IRAN WITH SLANDER AFTER CALLING UN SANCTIONS "ANNOYING FLIES" - June 10

CAUGHT IN ANOTHER CASE OF SELECTIVE HEARING BARNEY FRANK APOLOGIZES TO OBAMA FOR OFFERING UP HIS "ASS TO SLICK" - June 9

BIDEN'S IDEA TO CLEAN OIL SPILL BY DUMPING "GAS GUZZLING" SUV'S IN OCEAN REJECTED AFTER CAREFUL CONSIDERATION - June 9

FLORIDA OIL CLEAN UP CONTINUES AFTER MAGIC GENIE GRANTS A CHOICE BETWEEN THE SLICK OR A RETIRED HELEN THOMAS - June 8

MINUTES AFTER ANNOUNCING RETIREMENT HELEN THOMAS IS OFFERED JOB AT DISNEYLAND  AS THE WITCH FROM SNOW WHITE - June 7

OBAMA SAYS DEALING WITH OIL SPILL RATES SOMEWHERE ON HIS "BUMMER SCALE" BETWEEN RIM SHOTS AND DOUBLE BOGEYS - June 7

Add a comment

The Looking Spoon's You Might Be A Liberal If...vol. 2

You can check out volume 1 from last March here.


If...

Your child confesses to living a double life that's 3 letters and starts with G, and you hope it's G-A-Y and not G-O-P...


You think the only way to keep all of Obama's czars straight is to appoint a Czar Sorting Czar...


You think the popularity of Che Guevara t-shirts is a great example of how free-market capitalism works...


You're a hippie that wants to do your part by buying energy efficient light bulbs, now all you need is a home to use them in...


You're from Florida, you voted for Al Gore in 2000, and the name Chad makes you apoplectic...


You and your friends from PETA walk out of the movie that fantasized about George W. Bush's assassination, and during a heated debate over whether there could be a sequel you accidentally step on a bug and kill it, rendering you inconsolable...


You're so bad at Wii Bowling you play with an avatar that looks like Obama...


You hate taxes because counting is hard and you would rather give the IRS your bank routing and account numbers so they can just take what they think you owe...


A botox addled Nancy Pelosi gets emotional at a press conference and you cry for her because she can't...


You smell bad, your dirty dread-locked hair smells even worse, you can't remember your name, you can't spell "job" much less hold one, you can't bathe because your bathtub holds all your used bong water (because you never know when you're gonna need it bro), and you think marijuana should be legalized because its a victimless crime...


You think tax day is in the spring when everything blooms because money grows on taxpayers...


If you try to sell one of your used, unfinished cigarettes on eBay because it got a drag bummed off it from President Obama...


You think conservatives need to stop "waging war on science" and need to start worrying about the potential capsizing of Guam...


You don't understand why Disney fans think Nancy Pelosi hates dalmatians...


You don't breathe a sigh of relief when Obama drops Biden in 2012 and replaces him with the fifth grader who beat him...


"Kicking ass" on national TV isn't a "big f**king deal," and "terrorism" is racial slur...


YOU MIGHT BE A LIBERAL!

Add a comment