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10 Reasons We Can Thank A Liberal

You know, we conservatives really get down on liberals all the time, I wanted to turn the table for just one blog post and list 10 things or reasons for which we should thank liberals. One thing that can't be denied is they have given us so much to be thankful for. However, today I'm going to do what Congress can't and exercise restraint by limiting it to 10.

I'll probably come up with future reasons because I can't imagine there are only 10. Feel free to chime in below with your comments...now, in no particular order...

1. When someone asks me if I can do something and I say "yes I can," I throw up a little bit in my mouth and then I
Thank a liberal!


2. Because $999,999,999.99 is now chump change we can
Thank a liberal!


3. Man, I wish there was a way to kill babies without going to jail for murder....wait....THERE IS?!?
Thank a liberal!


4. For this billboard 40 chart topper: Barack Hussein Obama mmmm mmmm mmmm
Thank a liberal!


5. Is the North America Man Boy Love Association about free speech or raping boys? I JUST DON'T KNOW!
Thank a liberal!


6. Remember when we had trans fats and food was yummy?
Thank a liberal!


7. When did alphabet books for kids start including "C is for Condom?
Thank a liberal!


8. i lerned in pubic skule that joe bYdin is a prittee smart gie
Thank a liberal!


9. You're in for murder eh? Me? I accidentally killed a "protected" gopher when I mowed my lawn
Thank a liberal!


10. 911? Hi a man is robbing me at gunpoint, since I can't have a gun can you send - BANG I'm dead and I can posthumously
Thank a liberal!


There you have it folks, if a liberal ever accuses you of being an ingrate you can point them to this list!

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I forget...Is Biden as smart as one 5th grader or five 1st graders?

As stated on the last post, I went on a fan page starting tear on Facebook last week (add me, if you want to, and you don't want to...why?), and this page was another one of my better efforts. Below is the art I did for the page...I don't normally say this about my own work, but this one just makes me chuckle when I look at it.

Become a member of I forget...Is Biden as smart as one 5th grader or five 1st graders? here


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Next Halloween Obama should be something cool...like...a REAL president!

I went on a fan page starting tear on Facebook last week (add me, if you want to, and you don't want to...why?), and this page was one of my better efforts. Below is the art I did for the page...

Become a fan of Next Halloween Obama should be something cool...like...a REAL president! here


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New Poem: The Haiku About Nancy Pelosi

The latest Haiku to added the poetry section...I've done so many of these I think I'm going to have to make "political" haikus its own section...


Mess with Pelosi
And prepare to battle the
Whole botox party

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Satire Headlines Archive Update February 10 - 28

Here's the latest headlines to enter the vaunted Satire Headlines Archive.


OBAMA SAYS HE MISUNDERSTOOD THAT VOTERS IN 2008 WANTED A "DO OVER", THOUGHT THEY WANTED A "SCREW OVER" - February 26

GOV PATTERSON, MAD AT HEADLINE HE WONT "SEE" REELECTION, IS CORRECTED WHEN AIDE FINDS IT ACTUALLY SAYS "SEEK" - February 26

REID TELLS OBAMA ULTIMATUM TO PASS HEALTH BILL WITHOUT GOP WOULD SOUND "BAD ASS" IF HE USED "THE DIALECT" - February 26

ANONYMOUS OBAMA OFFICIAL TELLS MEDIA HEATH CARE SUMMIT "SUCKED," REQUESTS CODE NAME "JOEY B THE VP" - February 25

BIDEN SAYS HIS GOP TRAP DOOR AT HEALTHCARE SUMMIT OPENED, BUT DIDN'T WORK BECAUSE THEY NEVER LOOKED DOWN - February 25

OBAMA REJECTS THE WAY GOP CLAIMS HIS POLICIES ARE "SOCIALISM", SAYS THEY ARE ACTUALLY "SOCIALIST" - February 25

REID SAYS HIS LOSING THE ELECTION WONT LEAD TO SPOUSAL ABUSE BECAUSE HIS WIFE WILL SHOW HIM MERCY - February 24

BARNEY FRANK DENIES BAD HEARING AFTER GETTING "SUPER EXCITED" TO HEAR THAT GLOBAL WARMING IS A SNOW JOB - February 23

REACTING TO CHENEY'S HEART ATTACK ELIZABETH EDWARDS SAYS ITS IMPOSSIBLE FOR HUSBAND TO HAVE THAT PROBLEM - February 23

DOCTORS FINALLY CONFIRM THE TINGLE RUNNING DOWN CHRIS MATTHEWS'S HIS LEG IS THE LAST OF MSNBC'S RATINGS - February 22

OBAMA'S TELEPROMPTER SAYS IT WAS NOT BRIEFED ON HIS NEW HEALTHCARE PLAN, WOULD NEVER HAVE APPROVED IT - February 22

OBAMA SAYS THAT BECAUSE RUSSIAN ROULETTE HAS LOST ITS EDGE HE WILL CONTINUE TO FIGHT FOR OBAMACARE - February 19

LIBERAL MEDIA MISINTERPRETS TIGER WOODS'S BLAME OF MARITAL INFIDELITY ON BUSH - February 19

DESPITE THE FEDERAL RESERVE RAISING ITS INTEREST RATE BIDEN SAYS IT REMAINS UNINTERESTING TO HIM - February 18

U.N. FINDS NUKES WITH "PROPERTY OF IRAN" STICKERS ON THEM, STARTS TO SUSPECT IRAN MIGHT BE MAKING NUKES - February 18

OBAMA'S COMPLAINT "I CAN'T JUST PULL MONEY OUT OF MY ASS" IS PROVEN WRONG BY BARNEY FRANK - February 17

HILLARY CLINTON ISSUES WARNING TO IRAN TO QUIT NUCLEAR PROGRAM OR FACE MORE SUPER-SERIOUS WARNINGS - February 16

CANADIANS THANK BIDEN FOR KIND WORDS ABOUT THEM AT OLYMPICS, ASK HIM TO NOT CALL THEIR COUNTRY "CANADIA" - February 16

CANADA SAYS "FAILED" OLYMPIC TORCH LIGHTING WAS INTENTIONAL METAPHOR FOR OBAMA'S ADMINISTRATION - February 16

GORE TO RESUME GLOBAL WARMING TALK WHEN WORLD SNOWFALL MELTS OR SUMMER 2011, WHICHEVER COMES FIRST - February 12

OBAMA TELLS BIDEN ONLY JOKES WITH "URANUS" ARE FUNNY AND TO STOP LAUGHING WHEN IRAN SAYS "URANIUM" - February 11

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Joe Biden's Audacity of Dope

You know, I can't find the article of the constitution that permits them to do anything on the Obama Administrations agenda, so I REALLY don't know which Article of the Constitution says the Vice President shall be the official national court jester.

My last post about the Health Care Summit failed to find any diamonds in that rough...until now...

Biden: "It's easy being vice president. You don't have to do anything"

Unidentified lawmaker: "It's like being the grandpa and not the parent,"

Biden: "Yeah, that's it!"

Biden never said that, thats just another lie from the right wing propaganda lie talk radio spin doctors-wait...whats that video for?

To digress for a second...did anyone notice how quickly Obama's "smile" became a "holy crap I'm really the president" face?

Anyway, to be fair to Joey B the VP, we don't actually want him to do anything! Honestly, he just needs to sit there and look pretty busy like we deserve him less like a vegetable.

Also, Jay Carney, Biden's spokesperson clarifies that he was "obviously joking, as any review of his schedule and responsibilities would make abundantly clear." So if he says so while darting his eyes constantly to see if Congressman Joe Wilson is in the room then it must be true.

What??? plagiarized from the schedules of past VP's?

I would be happy to take Carney up on his offer to review the schedule of events written up for Biden, but frankly I'm afraid that it may be....no....I'm not going to say it because its not fair to Joe...he made one mistake long ago and I'm not going to take the opportunity to exploit that mistake for the sake of making any cheap shots because thats not what The Looking Spoon is all about....and I'm not going there...

Ok I went there, and while the scandal about the speech he plagiarized is 22 years old now, I'm not sure it's actually old news, because I just found a leaked copy of the cover of his upcoming memiors...



I guess all he has to do now is get all the other monkeys and typewriters in the same room as him and just start writing it.

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Does My Insurance Cover Health Care Summits?

See how well that worked for the global warming guys?

A lot of conservative pundits said this health care summit was a trap for Republicans and that they shouldn't do it. I reserved my comments because I didn't think it was right to pontificate on an event that had not happened yet.

That said, I couldn't really watch the summit because I have to work to make a living for my family government, so admittedly I'm going to go on the general sense that absolutely nothing got done because there were no sitings of Satan coming up to the earth's surface to find warmth.

Wait...did Obama just say the Senate bill was a political stunt?

One interesting moment came when Obama blasted Rep. Eric Cantor for piling on the Senates 2400 page bill in front of him, calling it in the linked Breitbart article (in red) a political stunt, which I thought was a bit premature on Obama's part...because the real stunt came when Cantor jumped off the top of the stack of paper and proceeded to give the summit a lesson in skydiving.

Don't forget the new botox R&D jobs

Then there was Pelosi claiming the reform would created 400,000 jobs almost immediately, but she appears to not know how many of those jobs will actually be for American business and how many will be for moving companies helping Americans high tail it out of here...

The only substantive thing I actually got out of all of this was that for those that kept score the Democrats got more than twice as much time to speak than the GOP....yet this in no way disrupted the bipartisan spirit of the summit because....



For doing the math... you're welcome VP Biden

According the the Washington Times article linked above (in red...again) the Democrats spoke for 114 minutes, the GOP for 110 minutes, and Obama spoke for 119 minutes!!! Giving the Democrats a total of 233 minutes.

Hey! Remember when this understudy of a president said health care reform wasn't about him? Thats because theres not enough room in his ego for both health care and EVERYTHING....which incidentally includes health care, so he's telling the truth on a technicality....on that note lets check the scoreboard:



I know I know, how does Team Truth get two points?!? Keep in mind that in the video he said he was the president....and unfortunately, pending the emergence of a birth certificate, this too is true.

I guess if the deciding factor for you is how much more time the Bolshevik-- liberals- progressives- Ahmadinejad panty hurlers - olympic curling rejects- Democrats got to speak then I guess it was a debacle for the GOP...but in reality I'm pretty sure this exercise in mental masturbation for Obama changes nothing in the PR war for universal health care.

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Scandalous Politician

Its been quite a while since I've posted something I've come across in the wild west of the blogosphere that caught my fancy.

Lucky unemployed bastards :-P

This was sent to me by the fellas over at The Daily Zing, a conservative leaning humor blog. They actually do the same kind of stuff I do here, but this video takes a lot of extra time and effort I don't have because I have to go to a day job to pay my bills, the govnerments bills, and after I'm done doing that I pay the governments bills some more...not necessarily in that order either.

Its called Scandalous Politician...which to me is a title that is probably twice as long in word count than necessary.....but then again maybe its just trying to capture the spirit of redundancy that is government.

In any case, enjoy the video. Both sides get skewered, if you don't like seeing Republicans get theirs the video starts blasting the Dems around the halfway point and ends on that high note. Hope it gives you a little bit of a chuckle like it did for me.


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Climate Emperor Gore Has No Clothes

In a rare moment of humor leveled by the GOP that didn't involve them lecturing the country about fiscal responsibility Senator Jim DeMint quipped that the record breaking snow all over the world would continue until Al Gore cried uncle.

It seems that liberals suffer from some strange form of munchausen by proxy where they constanly accuse conservatives of being fascist dictators bringing about the Fourth Reich any day now. Then when they campaign they openly cheer, like in 2008, for majorties that would make any opposition to their policies irrelevant and powerless....aka one-party rule...not to be confused with the iron grip of evil authoritarian dictatorship suffered under Bush before his refusal to give up being president ending in a military coup peaceful transfer of power to Obama.

The moral of the story is if liberals accuse conservatives of being guilty of something, you can take it to the TARP inflated bank that those same liberals are WAY more guilty of whatever that something is.

For years now the "skeptics" of global warming have been branded as having "declared war on science" by people who have been colluding to "hide the decline" in global temperatures over the last decade. Now we get admissions that there has been no ‘statistically significant’ warming. for the last 15 years and the evidence that sea levels are rising due to global warming has been deemed unreliable.

Laymen is a word so calm down Barney Frank

These "scientists" are being discredited at a pace that would make President Obama's growing unpopularity get whiplash envy. More and more it is finally being realized that they are what us laymen have known them to be all along, political eco-priests who have declared an actual WAR on SCIENCE and have formed an unholy alliance with liberal policy makers to build up a public cult of global warming.

Someone needs to man up and check Al Gore's ass

This cult has been stirring the public into a frenzy to believe that while the governments of the world can't do something simple, like not spend money it doesn't have, they can certainly control the temperature of the world with some magical golden thermostat they thought was first in Kyoto before they thought it was in Copenhagen.

Now, in spite of all this new evidence that the whole thing a is a fraud burried under a global blanket of snow the New York Times is now implying the skeptics are being opportunists, while others suggest this record breaking cold is actually part of the warming.

Don't piss on us and call it yellow snowflakes

Look liberals, either the globe is warming or it isn't....but you don't get to play this game where the earth says "I'm a popsicle because I have a fever." That doesn't make sense!

If the earth is getting warmer then when I turn on the Vancouver 2010 Olympics I want to see Lindsey Vonn doing the slalom on grass in a bikini...thats a promise that shouldn't be made unless it can be kept damn it!

Seriously though, I can't be the only one who is wondering why Al Gore has all of a sudden made himself more scarce than an MSNBC viewer. Maybe he's snowed in and trapped inside his energy guzzling Nashville mansion.

Whatever the case may be, its becoming increasingly clear that the worlds climate emperor indeed has no clothes.

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New poem: The Haiku About Joe Biden

The latest poem in the poetry section...


Everybody knows
I'm the smartest man ever
This is my haiku to say so, which is great because haiku's are short and to the point and I'm tired this false reputation I have that I'm some kind of motormouth gaffe factory. So I'm glad I finally get to say my piece in a way that is creative and artistic and really drives home the point that I'm not dum and werdy like my critics paint me. I am thoughtful, I do choose my words good carefully and this haiku says it perfectly...

The end


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