Recently, President Obama had a couple of events where he had a chance to
speak read his teleprompter to a bunch of people apparently born yesterday.
Oh it was a hoot, he read that same joke he's been telling for a month now about how he isn't seeing the Armageddon outside his window that conservatives promised when health care deform passed.
Oh it's just so funny! I wonder if after the first day of diagnosis a terminal medical patient that was given months to live would be so glib.
HAHA yeah right doc, MY ASS, I'm gonna die, I feel great and you're just a big fat quack so give me that chemo in a shot glass....I'll....gulp....show you.....
See I still have my hair! Look outside do YOU see Armageddon?!?
Just call me Mr. Right Now 'cuz I only live in the mom-...ulp...barfing now...but it's not the chemo, I'm just drunk on arrogance.
Speaking around the same time as the tax day Tea Party rallies Obama had this to say about those rallies (the video I found has been juxtaposed with a comment rising GOP star Paul Ryan.
So Barack thinks we should be thanking him....people who opt to give out trail mix instead of candy on Halloween expect a thank you too.
Even though I did indeed receive some BS $400 credit along with "95% of working families," (rich people don't work, apparently they just crap money like they're human ATM's). Now all I have to do now is figure out how that money going unspent on Uncle Barack is supposed to help me.
Is he still going to expect a thank you when his trillion dollar deficit exacerbating policies, not counting ObamaCare, will demand tax hikes for more than just the rich?
I've thought about this a bit and wondered if Obama even remotely has a point. Does he deserve thanks? After some thought I came up with a few reasons we can try to utter the word "thanks" a few times before we start to produce more vomit than a bulimia convention:
Thank you President Obama for making it cool to say, "I make teleprompters."
Thank you for bowing to world leaders in a show of humility and defying those who thought that position should be reserved for public restrooms and pornos.
Thank you for making political logos cool again, swastika ruined it for everyone for so long that they almost went the way of the 19th century corset wearing dodo bird working for the pony express.
Thank you for reminding us all that a generation after the end of the Cold War "socialism" is still a four letter word.
Also, thank you for letting Biden know "four letter word" is just an expression that can be used on any word as a euphamism for his favorite word...and he can stop trying to count the letters in
socialism soshallizm because the math wont work out anyway.
Thank you for a tagline that is easy to rhyme and therefore easy to mock. It would've been a lot harder if you used "orange," which for you it would've made just as much sense as using "hope" and "change."
Finally, for a while with President Bush we all thought government spending couldn't possibly get worse if he had literally taken all of our money and just threw it into some volcano in Ice...land.....huh......Well anyway, thank you Mr. President for making trillion the new billion.
I'm sure there are more reasons to thank the president, but all this thinking about it is giving me a headache...so thanks a lot for that too President Obama.Add a comment
When we deny Him
We self prevent
the truths that are
who founded U.S.
that the endowment of such
comes only from
If our Lord is
which way then
does the wind blow
Choose their hero
From the spiritual limbo
Of secularism's superior sanctimony
Until He has to leave the stage because we can't hear a single word He is saying.
So who then
will be the creator
of unalienable rights
with divine gusto?
h no...Add a comment
Here are the latest additions to the Headlines Archive
UNDER CRITICISM FOR BEING HOLLOW AND ERRATIC THE COFFEE PARTY CHANGES ITS NAME TO PING PONG PARTY - April 15
POLL FINDS 3% DON'T THINK TAX DOLLARS GET WASTED, CITING IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR MONEY TO USE DRUGS - April 15
NYT POLL FINDS 9 IN 10 TEA PARTIERS UNHAPPY WITH OBAMA, 1 IN 10 WANT THE TIMES TO STOP LYING ABOUT THEM - April 14
LATEST IDEA FROM BIDEN SHOT DOWN WHEN HE IS INFORMED BANNING THE LETTER "T" WONT STOP THE TEA PARTIES - April 14
ECONOMISTS TELL DEMOCRATS THAT CUTTING A PIECE OF PAPER IN HALF WITH "BUDGET DEFICIT" ON IT DOESN'T COUNT - April 13
CHARMIN LAUNCHES "CIVIC DOODY" CAMPAIGN DETAILING OBAMA'S ACCOMPLISHMENTS ON ITS TOILET PAPER - April 13
HILLARY CLINTON RUMORED TO BE ON SUPREME COURT SHORT LIST JUST ABOVE BELLY LINT AND BELOW PRESIDENT OBAMA - April 12
TEA PARTY DENIES CALLING PELOSI ANY NAMES BUT THANKS HER FOR SUGGESTING "GROSSIE PELOSI," - April 12
STUPAK DENIES ALLEGATIONS OF HYPOCRISY OVER HAVING HIS BID FOR REELECTION ABORTED - April 9
JIMMY CARTER HAILS OBAMA NUCLEAR POLICY AS IMPORTANT FOR AMERICA TO REALIZE HE'S NOT THE WORST PRESIDENT - April 8
OBAMA REJECTS IRAN CALLING HIM AN AMATEUR, ASKS "DO AMATEURS HAVE A COOL LOGO? - April 7
REID ADMITS HE SHOULD HAVE WRITTEN ON HIS HAND THAT HIS PALIN JOKE WAS "SO 2 MONTHS AGO" - April 6
AT BASEBALL GAME OBAMA REIGNITES BIRTHER FLAMES WHEN HE CALLS A HIT OUT OF THE PARK A "KENYA RUN" - April 6
REID ANNOUNCES HE CAN DEFINITELY FIT THE NAMES OF EVERY PERSON VOTING FOR HIM ON HIS HAND - April 6
OBAMA HIRES EARTHQUAKE CZAR TO EXPLAIN TO BIDEN THAT MEXICALI DIDN'T GET A 7.2 BECAUSE IT DID A GOOD JOB - April 5
NATIONALS REJECT OBAMA SUGGESTION HIS OPENING DAY PITCH BE A WADDED UP CONSTITUTION INTO A TRASH CAN - April 5
SADNESS HITS U.S. AS ANOTHER APRIL 1ST PASSES AND OBAMA STILL DOESN'T COME CLEAN ABOUT BIDEN'S VP STATUS - April 1
PELOSI PUSHES FOR RESOLUTION DECLARING APRIL 1ST TO BE "DEMOCRATS LOVE AMERICA DAY" - April 1Add a comment
If you told me a year ago that the tea party was going to be the movement that it is today I might not have believed it.I didn't think it was a passing phase or fad, but I just never expected it to sustain itself let alone actually organize.
Just when one would think the country is circling the drain of a White House toilet nick-named The Constitution, this truly American movement carrying the torch of truly American values explodes with nuclear fury over the nation and scares the poop out of liberals....or as I like to think of it, the Great Liberal Brain Drain.....
......I probably shouldn't be in charge of history books anytime this century.
Or maybe I should...for the last year liberals have dedicated so much of their media to painting the Tea Party as a bunch of dumb hicks who can't spell anything right on their signs (affectionately called teabonics).
UPDATE: It should be noted that there is very well founded speculation these signs are the product of liberal infiltrators instructed to make the party look like a bunch of buffoons by sites like crashtheteaparty.org.
Now the media is trying to paint them as a bunch of "well-educated" rich people.
If this brazen attempt to rewrite their script weren't so annoying I would be more concerned about such a weird admission coming from the political ideology that spends its time asserting it is the smartest person in the room. If these "dumb hick" teabonics speaking conservatives are better educated than the "general public" then where does that rank the intelligence of liberalism on a scale of 1 to teleprompter?
Either the Tea Party is stupid as or its smart. Whatever liberals want to label them one thing they definitely need to do is pick one and stick with it for once.
They did the same thing to George W. Bush, who was simultaneously the dumbest and most evil genius of a president we've ever had. They never know what they actually believe. They just know they hate conservatives and will SAY ANYTHING to get others to hate them too. Which begs the question if they actually know what they stand for in the first place.
It must really unnerve liberals that the Tea Party doesn't have any ambiguous one syllable tag line that can be made to say anything and nothing all at once. Their signs may be misspelled but at least they actually say something real.
ANOTHER UPDATE: Check out the Contract From America here to see what I mean.
Since liberals seem to understand symbols better how is this for a pretty picture?
Happy Tea Party Day!Add a comment
People have been abuzz about the photo of Obama bowing to Chinese President Hu Jintao. I don't actually on that level at all. It looked to me more like a nod of acknowledgment...
But what was he acknowledging?
For the record, I don't think (yet...yet) that Obama is a communist, and I know the hammer and sickle is a Soviet thing...but I thought it would make a fun little graphic...so the literalistic people out there...CHILL OUT.
I do, however, think with a fair degree of certainty he is a closet socialistAdd a comment
Lou Pritchett is a retired executive for Proctor and Gamble. He wrote an open letter to Presdient Obama and submitted it to the New York Times and was summarily ignored. Proving why the newspapers are dying the letter was posted online and is believed to have received over 500,000 hits, to say nothing of its appearance on countless other websites.
The moral of the story is if you want news to get out there don't ask for it to go it in a newspaper.
The letter is authentic and Pritchett more than vouches for it.
As a convenience to you the reader I have provided a way you can look at the letter through "lenses" that best reflect your political point of view. To use the Democrat pair of glasses (coincidentally on the left) or the normal glasses (coincidentally on the right) all you have to do is click and the letter will present itself in it's proper context.
Dear President Obama:
You are the thirteenth President under whom I have lived and unlike any of the others, you truly scare me.
You scare me because after months of exposure, I know nothing about you.
You scare me because I do not know how you paid for your expensive Ivy League education and your upscale lifestyle and housing with no visible signs of support.
You scare me because you did not spend the formative years of youth growing up in America and culturally you are not an American.
You scare me because you have never run a company or met a payroll.
You scare me because you have never had military experience, thus don't understand it at its core.
You scare me because you lack humility and 'class', always blaming others.
You scare me because for over half your life you have aligned yourself with radical extremists who hate America and you refuse to publicly denounce these radicals who wish to see America fail..
You scare me because you are a cheerleader for the 'blame America' crowd and deliver this message abroad.
You scare me because you want to change America to a European style country where the government sector dominates instead of the private sector.
You scare me because you want to replace our health care system with a government controlled one.
You scare me because you prefer 'wind mills' to responsibly capitalizing on our own vast oil, coal and shale reserves.
You scare me because you want to kill the American capitalist goose that lays the golden egg which provides the highest standard of living in the world.
You scare me because you have begun to use 'extortion' tactics against certain banks and corporations.
You scare me because your own political party shrinks from challenging you on your wild and irresponsible spending proposals.
You scare me because you will not openly listen to, or even consider opposing points of view from intelligent people.
You scare me because you falsely believe that you are both omnipotent and omniscient. You scare me because the media gives you a free pass on everything you do.
You scare me because you demonize and want to silence the Limbaugh's, Hannitys, O'Reillys and Becks who offer opposing, conservative points of view.
You scare me because you prefer controlling over governing.
Finally, you scare me because if you serve a second term I will probably not feel safe in writing a similar letter in 8 years.
Last January I came up with a series of posts inspired by the self explanatory hashtag on Twitter (follow my tweets here) #3WordsLiberalsHate.
The idea is to come up with the 3 word phrases that liberals would hate to hear or say. I wanted to put them in a way that they could exist on their own, but also in the context of a larger story. So here's a new set for a new season:
Must Support Israel
Beat Iran back
No bowing allowed
Peace through strength
Backwards nuclear policy
ObamaCare's health deform
No new taxes
17 minute responses
Teleprompter needs vacation
Change looks hopeless
Tea Parties mobilize
Dems lose Congress
Obama's only term
President Mitt Romney
President Newt Gingrich
President Sarah Palin
President Sean Hannity
President Ronald McDonald
President "Anyone Else"
Oh yeah...three more words they may not like to hear...
GUAM CAN'T CAPSIZE!
Here are links to the original series
Its the official game of the Minor League Foreign Policy Circuit. The rules are really simple...only you have to hold the cards like so AT ALL TIMES
As you place your bets you must never see your opponents hand and more important than anything else YOU MUST NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU'RE ACTUALLY DOING YOURSELFAdd a comment
We know he has placed restrictions to the nuclear option to almost never. So who is actually eligible to be nuked if they ever have the temerity to smack the Virginia Slim out of Barack's mouth?
Kim Jong Il's hair-do
Soviet Union (maybe)
Oh! here's something...
UPDATE: Apparently according to some readers my attempt at a clever pun of a headline for this post (Palin's Palm Pilot Should Reid (meaning "read"...haha, but not really) Into The Flattery of Imitation) didn't work too well, so it has been changed to something that "makes sense," post starts now:
Harry Reid is starting to make me think I've been channeling way too much energy into painting Biden as a gaffe factory
Its bad enough that Harry Reid views the Senate as a sort of open mic night at some smokey Vegas chuckle shack with only one patron busting out punchlines like Obama can hide his negro dialect, and ObamaCare opponents would fight for slavery, but now I'm starting to worry that he has run out of ideas for his own material. I mean really, the Palin hand joke...again?
What Reid should have remembered to write on that hand is that needed to tell that joke two months ago when it may have been funny to people who think toilet humor is for phD's.
How about this one Harry, can you fit the names of every person actually willing to vote for you on your hand?
And did you hear the woman that almost stepped on Reid's "joke"? She wants the Tea Partiers to "drop dead"...
Well lady, we're rubber and Reid is glue...whatever YOU say bounces off of us and sticks to HIS chances for reelection.
I swear, if the GOP doesn't take this seat....Add a comment
It looks like Obama's oratory skills need a tune up before he starts being known as President Mtrmuth.
Recently at a meeting where Obama was to force-feeding prime rib to a vegan a woman known as Doris questioned the him on the wisdom of piling on to the tax burden and informed him we are taxed too much already. What ensued was a 17 minute, 2500 word response.
The conclusion of the rant prompted a rousing. Nope, didn't forget to finish that sentence with "applause"...they had to wake up first.
Perhaps he was trying to be so boring that even Jesus would forget to rise for Easter yesterday. We know how much liberals hate competition.
Baseball season has started and maybe like a starting pitcher that has had enough Obama needs to bring in a relief teleprompter with a fresh take on his speeches. So meet Obama's new teleprompter.
As you can see this idea is something of a grassroots effort. Eat your heart out Tea Party.Add a comment
I was traveling and visiting family this weekend, so I was a bit indisposed. Now that the day is all but over I wanted to at least acknowledge what is the most important day of the year next to Christmas.
A big thanks to Lori Ziganto over at iOwnTheWorld.com for posting this first and inspiring me to share what is a beautiful rendition of arguably the most beautiful song (or at least one of them) ever created.
Happy Easter.Add a comment
Many of you have probably already seen this. While I wish this was an April fools joke...I'm so glad it isn't...because its just too good...
This guy represents the 4th District of Georgia, which is where his predecessor and fellow screwloose Cynthia McKinney came from. Clearly, there is something in the water in that part of Georgia.
I know the quality of the video isn't too great, but you can almost see the Admiral trying to hold back his smirk, and the woman behind him is less successful, when he says they don't anticipate the island...capsizing...
Does this man not have congressional aides who can help him figure out what an island is?!? Does he think these masses of land are just bobbing in the water like the rubber duckies he plays with in his bathtub?!?
More importantly how many more of these incidents must the country endure before the Dan Quayle is even? The media TRIES to grant radio silence to the idiotic things liberals say, but
"Who are these people?" To busts of George Washington and Benjamin Franklin at Monticello (Al Gore)
FDR went on TV when he was President in 1929 (Joe Biden)
There are 57 states (President Obama)
Islands capsize (Hank Johnson)
Potatoe...which could have been right if Quayle had only tried pretending the girl was trying to spell "POTATOES"
Its funny, but its also a little enraging. This man he works half as hard, and has a quarter of the intelligence of a paint sniffing ditch digger in a coma, and he gets paid roughly $175,000 per year to dictate how we should live our lives. This man voted for ObamaCare, he has power that puts the fate of this country in his hands.
We have to hear from liberals how conservatives with their voodoo magic beliefs that used to be known to most of them as Christianity are mentally ill equipped to be in charge of stuff. As far as I'm concerned they're way behind the 8-ball if we have to keep score in the IQ wars. Theres no doubt where the Vegas easy money would go if the two parties had to stack up against Jeff Foxworthy's 5th graders.
Its no wonder we get ideas like ObamaCare, and cap and tax, and reparations, and blah blah blah the list could go on forever...These people can barely handle basic facts of life.
***UPDATE*** Some who have read this are admonishing me to go easy on the guy because he has Hepatitis C...the last time I checked that affects the liver, which would explain this video perfectly if someone can medically prove to me that liberals have livers for brains.
That just begs the question: If Dick Cheney should have stepped down as vice president because of his heart condition, should liberals (or anyone for that matter) be allowed to make country altering decisions when they're "brain" damaged?
Here are the latest additions to the Headlines Archive
INTERNAL FACEBOOK POLL FINDS USERS FEEL HAVING BOTH A DNC AND AN IRS FAN PAGE IS REDUNDANT - March 31
SARKOZY EXPLAINS TO BIDEN IRAN IS THE NAME OF A ROGUE NATION AND NOT OFFICIAL FRENCH FOREIGN POLICY - March 30
INSPIRED BY THE MOVIE "THE BLIND SIDE" OBAMA APPLIES TO BE THE LEGAL GUARDIAN OF HIS TELEPROMPTER - March 30
OBAMA DELIVERS ULTIMATUM TO KARZAI TO STOP AFGHAN CORRUPTION OR ACCEPT A POSITION IN HIS ADMINISTRATION - March 29
FOCUSED U.N. MOVES SWIFTLY ON SINKING OF SOUTH KOREAN SHIP BY PASSING RESOLUTION DENOUNCING ISRAEL - March 26
GROWING TIRED OF SAYING OBAMACARE IS PEOPLE'S VICTORY OBAMA HIRES SARCASM CZAR - March 26
DEMS WANT CONGRESSIONAL "DON'T ASK DON'T TELL" LIFTED SO THEY CAN SAY HOW THEY REALLY FEEL ABOUT AMERICA - March 25
BARNEY FRANK DECLARES LOVE OF DICTATORS UNTIL AIDE INFORMS HIM THEY’RE NOT PENIS-SHAPED FRENCH FRIES - March 25
PRO-CHOICE GROUP INADVERTENTLY SUPPORTS OBAMACARE PROTESTERS CHANTING "KEEP YOUR LAWS OFF MY BODY" - March 24
BIDEN SAYS "BIG F-ING DEAL" NOT OVER HEALTH CARE BILL, OBAMA PROMISED HE CAN COME INSIDE WHITE HOUSE NOW - March 23
STUPAK SAYS DEMS OSTRACIZED HIM LIKE HE WAS ROSIE O'DONNELL IN A POLICE LINE-UP OF WOMEN - March 23
BIDEN CHANTS "WE HAVE GOVERNMENT HEALTH CARE" AS BEMUSED DEMOCRATS WONDER WHO "WE" IS SUPPOSED TO BE - March 22
BARNEY FRANK LOSES BET TO OBAMA ON WHO CAN BLOW THE DEMOCRAT MAJORITY FASTER - March 22
DEMS SUPPORTING OBAMACARE BECOME UNDECIDED WHEN THEY REALIZE THE PROCEDURE IS "DEEM AND PASS" NOT "DEMON PASS" - March 19
OBAMA'S DELAY OF TRIP TO SOUTH PACIFIC FOR HEALTH VOTE HAILED BY DEM LEADERS AND CHIROPRACTOR DR. NOBOWMA - March 19
BIDEN CANCELS TRIP TO HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES AFTER READING ON WIKIPEDIA HE CAN ONLY BREAK TIES IN THE SENATE - March 19
THREATS AGAINST DEMOCRATS OPPOSING OBAMACARE GRADUATE FROM WATERBOARDING TO ERIC MASSA TICKLE SESSIONS - March 18
BIDEN SUFFERS "WICKED" ST. PATTY'S DAY HANGOVER, SWEARS HE'LL NEVER DRINK GREEN ODOULS AGAIN - March 18
WHITE HOUSE ST. PATRICKS DAY FESTIVITIES END WHEN BIDEN GETS SO DRUNK HE CAN EXPLAIN QUANTUM PHYSICS - March 17
DEMS SUPPORTING OBAMACARE BECOME UNDECIDED WHEN THEY REALIZE THE PROCEDURE IS "DEEM AND PASS" NOT "DEMON PASS" - March 16
POLL FINDS LIBERALS FINALLY CONQUER BUSH DICTATORSHIP FEARS IF DEMS "DEEM" HEALTH CARE BILL "PASSED" - March 16
HIGH COURT UPHOLDS "UNDER GOD" IN PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE, CAUSES ATHEIST CRACK-UP, CRIES OF "WHY GOD WHY?" - March 15
OBAMA'S DELAY OF TRIP TO SOUTH PACIFIC FOR HEALTH VOTE HAILED BY DEM LEADERS AND CHIROPRACTOR DR. NOBOWMA - March 15Add a comment
I know this is going to be a VERY hot button issue for many of you who know me to wear a big conservative chip on my shoulder.....so I beg you to hear me out because believe me, by the time I'm done making my case I think you will also realize that it is MUCH MUCH BETTER for the country to continue having the Democrats run the show.
I actually got this idea from another conservative blog that I enjoy so for the full list of reasons Democrats should win click here
Come on people!!! I may be crazy and stupid at times, but I'll NEVER go Biden on ya. Hope you have a fun day...see ya on the other side of Easter!
Watching the aftermath of ObamaCare's passage leaves me wondering which is worse, watching liberals take their hobbling victory lap on this issue, or having to endure the idiocy of their suggesting that conservatives stop acting like sore losers and "get back to work."
Even Obama is taunting the the repeal hungry GOP to "go for it" with the wind at their backs of the 55% of us that wanted this thing repealed before the ballpoint pen used to sign the it was even invented.
I wonder if he'll be so smug when similar polls show his chances of reelection as being so optimistic. Its hard to believe that a newly minted president could screw up so much, so fast, and so badly after just a year.
And when he says this is the "people's victory," I'm left wondering what he qualifies as a person? Liberals? They're really the only ones happy with this, and I thought we agreed a long time ago they don't count because they're actually from another planet.
Also, this notion that the GOP needs to "move on" is an amazing statement coming from the party that is still counting chads in Florida 10 years later.
What if the anti-prohibition movement "moved on" after alcohol became illegal under the U.S. Constitution in the 1920's? I don't know answer, but I'm pretty sure we know what Ted Kennedy's life's work would've ended up being about.Add a comment
I know its been done before, but I'm don't know if you'll find a better, funnier, more brilliant list from a more modest correspondent! HA!
Hope you like it. If you have any "ways" of your own you want to share then leave a comment below!
If you wanted ObamaCare so you can finally get that elusive sex change from man to Democrat....
If you think Christmas is a true season of giving and should be celebrated on April 15th...
If you want universal health care so you can finally get the surgery needed to remove all the scars you get from vigorously hugging trees...
If Planned Parenthood is the place where mistakes go to
If you try to make ice cubes in the oven because you believe extreme cold is an effect of global warming...
If you have a list of things you're going to spend your social security check on in 2060 when the monthly pay out is -$924.87...
If the evil terrorist Rush Limbaugh must be destroyed...wait...whats that?...His name is Osama? Really? Osama Limbaugh?...
If you want to attend an Iranian rally for Mahmoud Ahmadinejad so you can hurl your panties at him...
If you own a vial of Nancy Pelosi's tears that she was only able to shed because she missed a botox party...
If you can physically tell the difference between Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow....
If you don't think it's funny to put polar bears in Al Gore's pool because "they have nowhere else to go"....
If you stop objecting to public nativity scenes because they now include Obama in them as a wise man, or preferably baby Jesus...
YOU MIGHT BE A LIBERAL!Add a comment
I already had this in a previous blog post, but I really like it and wanted to share again, because when ObamaCare bankrupts the country there wont be any room for "I told you so," as we'll be crammed up to our ears in debt...
As a result the only way we'll be able to reduce the cost of ObamaCare is to reduce our use of it. A great way to reduce the use is to force people to live healthier lifestyles.....and 'Lil TeaBagger is ready to lead the way on that front!
If you're wondering what the heck 'Lil TeaBagger is click here for an explanationAdd a comment