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Poem: Who Holds What Truth To Be Self Evident?

When we deny Him
We self prevent
the truths that are
Self evident

Expounded by
the guys
who founded U.S.
that the endowment of such
comes only from

Our Creator

If our Lord is
precluded from
the Equation
which way then
does the wind blow
when "progressives"
Choose their hero
From the spiritual limbo
Of secularism's superior sanctimony

heckling
His
Decisions

Until He has to leave the stage because we can't hear a single word He is saying.

So who then will be the creator
that does
the Endowing
of unalienable rights
with divine gusto?

Oh no...

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Satire Headline Archive Update April 1-15

Here are the latest additions to the Headlines Archive



UNDER CRITICISM FOR BEING HOLLOW AND ERRATIC THE COFFEE PARTY CHANGES ITS NAME TO PING PONG PARTY - April 15

POLL FINDS 3% DON'T THINK TAX DOLLARS GET WASTED, CITING IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR MONEY TO USE DRUGS - April 15

NYT POLL FINDS 9 IN 10 TEA PARTIERS UNHAPPY WITH OBAMA, 1 IN 10 WANT THE TIMES TO STOP LYING ABOUT THEM - April 14

LATEST IDEA FROM BIDEN SHOT DOWN WHEN HE IS INFORMED BANNING THE LETTER "T" WONT STOP THE TEA PARTIES - April 14

ECONOMISTS TELL DEMOCRATS THAT CUTTING A PIECE OF PAPER IN HALF WITH "BUDGET DEFICIT" ON IT DOESN'T COUNT - April 13

CHARMIN LAUNCHES "CIVIC DOODY" CAMPAIGN DETAILING OBAMA'S ACCOMPLISHMENTS ON ITS TOILET PAPER - April 13

HILLARY CLINTON RUMORED TO BE ON SUPREME COURT SHORT LIST JUST ABOVE BELLY LINT AND BELOW PRESIDENT OBAMA - April 12

TEA PARTY DENIES CALLING PELOSI ANY NAMES BUT THANKS HER FOR SUGGESTING "GROSSIE PELOSI," - April 12

STUPAK DENIES ALLEGATIONS OF HYPOCRISY OVER HAVING HIS BID FOR REELECTION ABORTED - April 9

JIMMY CARTER HAILS OBAMA NUCLEAR POLICY AS IMPORTANT FOR AMERICA TO REALIZE HE'S NOT THE WORST PRESIDENT - April 8

OBAMA REJECTS IRAN CALLING HIM AN AMATEUR, ASKS "DO AMATEURS HAVE A COOL LOGO? - April 7

REID ADMITS HE SHOULD HAVE WRITTEN ON HIS HAND THAT HIS PALIN JOKE WAS "SO 2 MONTHS AGO" - April 6

AT BASEBALL GAME OBAMA REIGNITES BIRTHER FLAMES WHEN HE CALLS A HIT OUT OF THE PARK A "KENYA RUN" - April 6

REID ANNOUNCES HE CAN DEFINITELY FIT THE NAMES OF EVERY PERSON VOTING FOR HIM ON HIS HAND - April 6

OBAMA HIRES EARTHQUAKE CZAR TO EXPLAIN TO BIDEN THAT MEXICALI DIDN'T GET A 7.2 BECAUSE IT DID A GOOD JOB - April 5

NATIONALS REJECT OBAMA SUGGESTION HIS OPENING DAY PITCH BE A WADDED UP CONSTITUTION INTO A TRASH CAN - April 5

SADNESS HITS U.S. AS ANOTHER APRIL 1ST PASSES AND OBAMA STILL DOESN'T COME CLEAN ABOUT BIDEN'S VP STATUS - April 1

PELOSI PUSHES FOR RESOLUTION DECLARING APRIL 1ST TO BE "DEMOCRATS LOVE AMERICA DAY" - April 1

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Happy Tea Party Day!

If you told me a year ago that the tea party was going to be the movement that it is today I might not have believed it.I didn't think it was a passing phase or fad, but I just never expected it to sustain itself let alone actually organize.

Just when one would think the country is circling the drain of a White House toilet nick-named The Constitution, this truly American movement carrying the torch of truly American values explodes with nuclear fury over the nation and scares the poop out of liberals....or as I like to think of it, the Great Liberal Brain Drain.....

......I probably shouldn't be in charge of history books anytime this century.

Or maybe I should...for the last year liberals have dedicated so much of their media to painting the Tea Party as a bunch of dumb hicks who can't spell anything right on their signs (affectionately called teabonics).

UPDATE: It should be noted that there is very well founded speculation these signs are the product of liberal infiltrators instructed to make the party look like a bunch of buffoons by sites like crashtheteaparty.org.

THE COUNTRY CLUB REPUBLICANS ARE COMING?

Now the media is trying to paint them as a bunch of "well-educated" rich people.

If this brazen attempt to rewrite their script weren't so annoying I would be more concerned about such a weird admission coming from the political ideology that spends its time asserting it is the smartest person in the room. If these "dumb hick" teabonics speaking conservatives are better educated than the "general public" then where does that rank the intelligence of liberalism on a scale of 1 to teleprompter?

Either the Tea Party is stupid as or its smart. Whatever liberals want to label them one thing they definitely need to do is pick one and stick with it for once.

They did the same thing to George W. Bush, who was simultaneously the dumbest and most evil genius of a president we've ever had. They never know what they actually believe. They just know they hate conservatives and will SAY ANYTHING to get others to hate them too. Which begs the question if they actually know what they stand for in the first place.

Hope isn't a political policy?

It must really unnerve liberals that the Tea Party doesn't have any ambiguous one syllable tag line that can be made to say anything and nothing all at once. Their signs may be misspelled but at least they actually say something real.

ANOTHER UPDATE: Check out the Contract From America here to see what I mean.

Since liberals seem to understand symbols better how is this for a pretty picture?



Happy Tea Party Day!

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Is it O-bow-ma and China, Or Is It Love?

People have been abuzz about the photo of Obama bowing to Chinese President Hu Jintao. I don't actually on that level at all. It looked to me more like a nod of acknowledgment...

But what was he acknowledging?



For the record, I don't think (yet...yet) that Obama is a communist, and I know the hammer and sickle is a Soviet thing...but I thought it would make a fun little graphic...so the literalistic people out there...CHILL OUT.

:-)

I do, however, think with a fair degree of certainty he is a closet socialist

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A New Look At An Executive's Open Letter to Obama

Lou Pritchett is a retired executive for Proctor and Gamble. He wrote an open letter to Presdient Obama and submitted it to the New York Times and was summarily ignored. Proving why the newspapers are dying the letter was posted online and is believed to have received over 500,000 hits, to say nothing of its appearance on countless other websites.

The moral of the story is if you want news to get out there don't ask for it to go it in a newspaper.

The letter is authentic and Pritchett more than vouches for it.

As a convenience to you the reader I have provided a way you can look at the letter through "lenses" that best reflect your political point of view. To use the Democrat pair of glasses (coincidentally on the left) or the normal glasses (coincidentally on the right) all you have to do is click and the letter will present itself in it's proper context.

Dear President Obama:

You are the thirteenth President under whom I have lived and unlike any of the others, you truly scare me.

You scare me because after months of exposure, I know nothing about you.

You scare me because I do not know how you paid for your expensive Ivy League education and your upscale lifestyle and housing with no visible signs of support.

You scare me because you did not spend the formative years of youth growing up in America and culturally you are not an American.

You scare me because you have never run a company or met a payroll.

You scare me because you have never had military experience, thus don't understand it at its core.

You scare me because you lack humility and 'class', always blaming others.

You scare me because for over half your life you have aligned yourself with radical extremists who hate America and you refuse to publicly denounce these radicals who wish to see America fail..

You scare me because you are a cheerleader for the 'blame America' crowd and deliver this message abroad.

You scare me because you want to change America to a European style country where the government sector dominates instead of the private sector.

You scare me because you want to replace our health care system with a government controlled one.

You scare me because you prefer 'wind mills' to responsibly capitalizing on our own vast oil, coal and shale reserves.

You scare me because you want to kill the American capitalist goose that lays the golden egg which provides the highest standard of living in the world. 

You scare me because you have begun to use 'extortion' tactics against certain banks and corporations.

You scare me because your own political party shrinks from challenging you on your wild and irresponsible spending proposals.

You scare me because you will not openly listen to, or even consider opposing points of view from intelligent people.

You scare me because you falsely believe that you are both omnipotent and omniscient. You scare me because the media gives you a free pass on everything you do.

You scare me because you demonize and want to silence the Limbaugh's, Hannitys, O'Reillys and Becks who offer opposing, conservative points of view.

You scare me because you prefer controlling over governing.

Finally, you scare me because if you serve a second term I will probably not feel safe in writing a similar letter in 8 years.



Lou Pritchett.

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3 Words Liberals Hate: Spring Edition

Last January I came up with a series of posts inspired by the self explanatory hashtag on Twitter (follow my tweets here) #3WordsLiberalsHate.

The idea is to come up with the 3 word phrases that liberals would hate to hear or say. I wanted to put them in a way that they could exist on their own, but also in the context of a larger story. So here's a new set for a new season:


Must Support Israel

Beat Iran back

No bowing allowed

Peace through strength

Backwards nuclear policy

ObamaCare's health deform

No new taxes

17 minute responses

Teleprompter needs vacation

Change looks hopeless

Tea Parties mobilize

Dems lose Congress

Obama's only term

President Mitt Romney

President Newt Gingrich

President Sarah Palin

President Sean Hannity

President Ronald McDonald

President "Anyone Else"




Oh yeah...three more words they may not like to hear...

GUAM CAN'T CAPSIZE!




Here are links to the original series

Words Liberals Hate Part 1

Words Liberals Hate Part 2

Words Liberals Hate Part 3

Words Liberals Hate Part 4

Words Liberals Hate Part 5



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Obama Rules Poker

Its the official game of the Minor League Foreign Policy Circuit. The rules are really simple...only you have to hold the cards like so AT ALL TIMES



As you place your bets you must never see your opponents hand and more important than anything else YOU MUST NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU'RE ACTUALLY DOING YOURSELF

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So When Is Obama Willing To Use A Nuclear Option?

We know he has placed restrictions to the nuclear option to almost never. So who is actually eligible to be nuked if they ever have the temerity to smack the Virginia Slim out of Barack's mouth?

Iran
Al Qaeda
Castro
Hugo Chavez
Vladimir Putin
Kim Jong Il's hair-do

Soviet Union (maybe)

Oh! here's something...



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l Bet Reid Can Fit The Names His Supporters on His Hand

UPDATE: Apparently according to some readers my attempt at a clever pun of a headline for this post (Palin's Palm Pilot Should Reid (meaning "read"...haha, but not really) Into The Flattery of Imitation) didn't work too well, so it has been changed to something that "makes sense," post starts now:


Harry Reid is starting to make me think I've been channeling way too much energy into painting Biden as a gaffe factory


Why is the club so smokey if there is only one pers-Ohhh, its Obama

Its bad enough that Harry Reid views the Senate as a sort of open mic night at some smokey Vegas chuckle shack with only one patron busting out punchlines like Obama can hide his negro dialect, and ObamaCare opponents would fight for slavery, but now I'm starting to worry that he has run out of ideas for his own material. I mean really, the Palin hand joke...again?

What Reid should have remembered to write on that hand is that needed to tell that joke two months ago when it may have been funny to people who think toilet humor is for phD's.

You betcha!

How about this one Harry, can you fit the names of every person actually willing to vote for you on your hand?

And did you hear the woman that almost stepped on Reid's "joke"? She wants the Tea Partiers to "drop dead"...

Well lady, we're rubber and Reid is glue...whatever YOU say bounces off of us and sticks to HIS chances for reelection.

I swear, if the GOP doesn't take this seat....

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Meet Obama's New Teleprompter

It looks like Obama's oratory skills need a tune up before he starts being known as President Motormouth.

aka ObamaCare

Recently at a meeting where Obama was to force-feeding prime rib to a vegan a woman known as Doris questioned the him on the wisdom of piling on to the tax burden and informed him we are taxed too much already. What ensued was a 17 minute, 2500 word response.

yes we ca-aaaaaaaa - wwwnnn zzzzzzzzzz

The conclusion of the rant prompted a rousing. Nope, didn't forget to finish that sentence with "applause"...they had to wake up first.

Perhaps he was trying to be so boring that even Jesus would forget to rise for Easter yesterday. We know how much liberals hate competition.

Baseball season has started and maybe like a starting pitcher that has had enough Obama needs to bring in a relief teleprompter with a fresh take on his speeches. So meet Obama's new teleprompter.


As you can see this idea is something of a grassroots effort. Eat your heart out Tea Party.

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