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Is Pelosi Auditioning For Comedy?

In the latest from the Wall Street Journal she says she's not the reason Dems lost the midterms...(my comments are in yellow)

“We didn’t lose the election because of me,” Ms. Pelosi told National Public Radio in an interview that aired Friday morning. “Our members do not accept that.” Which is why they are now in open rebellion against her

Instead, the California Democrat attributes the loss of at least 60 seats to high unemployment and “$100 million of outside, unidentified funding.” and her leadership, or her stupidity....did I just repeat myself?

“Any party that cannot turn (9.5% unemployment) into political gains should hang up the gloves,” she said.....

Among those rooting for Ms. Pelosi to stick around are Republicans, who are giddy Giddy? Really? It makes Republicans excited enough to crap Ecstacy pills and all they have to say is "giddy" at the prospect of reprising in 2012 the attacks they used in the past election cycle Her face wont change, why should our arguments?, tying Democratic incumbents around the country to the liberal from San Francisco. Which is saying PIN Number...think about it...

Ms. Pelosi’s reply: Bring it on. “The reason they had to take me down is because I’ve been effective in fighting special interests in Washington, D.C.,” Ms. Pelosi said, citing the health insurance and financial services industries. “I’m effective. They had to take me out. I’m also the most significant attractor to support for the Democrats.” Does she mean to say the Dems lost ONLY 60+ seats because of her?


Read the entire article here (via Memeorandum)

It's clear liberals don't realize that the voters figured out Democrats were really just a rebound after a 12 year relationship with the GOP that ended badly because they were cheated on. 2009 was when the Dems finally pulled back the curtains revealing the light of day so they could get a good look at who they voted for and realized the Perfect 10 they thought they went home with was really a big fat 0.


Voters: Ugh, why do I have a bad taste in my mouth?

0: Good morning

Voters: AAAHH a talking a**hole!

0: Want some breakfast?

Voters: Thisisajustadreamthisisjustadream...wake up...WAKE UP!

0: You were SO drunk last night

Voters: YEAH NO KIDDING!....oww my head

0: Headache? Here, let me get you some stimulus.

Voters: I don't think that works on headaches

0: It does when you take it with ObamaCare, this glass of higher taxes should wash it down.

Voters: Don't tread on me!

0: They're also suppositories!


...or something like that....Anyway, we're pulling for you Nancy!

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Will Obama 'See The Light?'

Bush book munchies

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Conservative Satire Headlines November 11, 2010

Presiding over D.C's Veterans Day ceremony Biden disappointed veterans in attendance didn't bring any sick animals for him to pet.

Having missed both Memorial Day and now Veterans Day military renames AWOL to stand for "Always With Obama Leaving"

Running out of material to print money the Federal Reserve urges Congress to make Monopoly money legal tender .

Amid open rebellion to airport "naked" scanners President Clinton pleads his application to work for the TSA be expedited "before it's too late."

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Rand Paul Spanks Eliot Spitzer

The judges will also accept "Rand Paul Turns Spitzer Into Client Number 10."

Even without guys like Rubio and Toomey here is reasons 1, 2, and 3 as to why the United States Senate will be a SIGNIFICANTLY better institution come next year...

Its clear what Spitzer was trying to do. He presented a premise (in this case it was a false one), Paul knocked that premise out of the park. Spitzer then tried to make it stick anyway by reiterating it and making it the last word before moving on to the next point of the discussion, and Paul simply wouldn't let him do it.

This shows what an amateur Spitzer is, Bill O'Reilly is the master of pulling that tactic off. If he wants to work on his television debate chops he should probably watch some (cough)Fox News(cough) everyone else.

Good game Idiot-I mean the way nice use of "filibuster," thats a funny kind of word isn't it....must feel weird not using that word as some sort of Client Number 9 euphemism.

h/t iOwnTheWorld

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A Modest Proposal for Future Veterans Day Celebrations

Today is Veterans Day, and I know we throw parades and make sure calendar companies know that this is the day to print "Veterans Day" in size 4 font on their product, but I'm not sure thats enough anymore.

Hollywood is on the edge of starting its awards season, and thinking about that got me thinking that maybe they could let us borrow their red carpets and paparazzi for the Veterans Day parades, they don't need them yet anyway....

Now, you might be thinking, are there enough of both to spread around the entire country? No! So the second part of my proposal is that we have one HUGE parade in one central location, and then we fly in with private jets or drive in with stretch limos (borrowed from Hollywood of course) ALL of the nation's veterans who want to come.

So the country can enjoy the festivities there will be television cameras EVERYWHERE, and Joan Rivers will be there to have her lips smacked off of that "face" of hers every time she asks one of them "who" they are wearing.

You know what...I don't think I want to make our veterans walk down the red carpet either, which for that day should be known as the "parade route." They should stay in their limos. Many of them are very old and very tired, do we really have to force them to walk around a parade if they actually want to be honored by us? I don't think so, not anymore....

Besides, what kind of ostentatious carbon footprint does walking leave? Exactly! None! Its almost as if they don't want us to know the magnitude of their awesomeness.

When the parade is over the after party will be unbelievable. The only thing more gluttonous than the attendees will be the desire to use wastefully everything in sight.

Only the veterans who were in the limo motorcade will be invited. Instead of water the faucets will put out champaigne and the napkin dispensers will have strips of filet mignon. Goodie bags will be filled with pearls so guests can have fun pelting the help.

Speaking of the help, every single one of vets wishes will be their command, and they will be fulfilled yesterday.

The paparazzi will be there, the news media will have wall-to-wall coverage of the who's who of America's defenders, and everyone will be considered A-listers on this day. They'll be adorned with jewels that'll make the federal debt look cheap, shrines will be built in their honor, women will swoon for them, and their hands will fall off by the time they're done giviing autographs (that's when the older vets will learn what eBay is)

When its all over they'll retire to their special Veterans Night harems as their wives patiently await their return in the limos, which will be outside the party, idling....

...You know what...I apologize, I got way too carried away....We should probably just stick to giving these guys local parades and a hearty handshake, we don't need to be making them feel more important than they really are.

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Top 5 New FDA Warnings On Smoking

So the FDA has created 36 new designs for warnings about the dangers of smoking that will cover the top half of cigarette packs. It's all WAY over the top, but they did get really creative with them.

If you must, you can download all of them at the FDA's website here (via Memeorandum)

I went ahead and picked out, for lack of a better word, the top 5 designs. Guess which one is my favorite. If you want, leave a comment on which one is yours :-)

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Conservative Satire Headlines November 10, 2010

In first move back to fiscal conservatism Boehner fly commercially so government can save money on having to disinfect Pelosi's private jet.

Democrats opposing Pelosi's run for minority leader stand accused of being traitors to liberalism's core principle of rewarding failure.

Working title of report from Obama debt reduction commission rumored to be, "Let Them Eat Cake So We Can Tax That Too."

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Obama's Conservative Well Wishers

Last week I got Obama a little something for the two year anniversary of his election...

iOwnTheWorld shared it with their readers and encouraged well wishers to leave a message. Below are my favorites:

We already wished him well this past Nov. 2nd


For he’s a jolly good fellow,
His pant legs are turning yellow,
His spine is made out of Jell-O,
Which nobody can deny!
(But try, Chris Matthews!)
Which nobody can deny (join in, Katie Couric!), which nobody can deny (now Oprah!)
For he’s a socialist fellow, which the MSM denies.


Happy anniversary, Mr President and thank you We couldn’t have fatally discredited liberalism and the old media without you


Happy Anniversary, Barry! We got you a new Congress!


Happy halfway point of your last term, Comrade Zero.


I flushed TWICE, in hopes my Anniversary Present would reach him faster!


Thank Heaven
For huge egos.
For huge egos get bigger every day.

Thank Heaven
For huge egos.
They blow up in the most delightful way.

Those Democrats
So fragile and now reeling
With all their cash
They’re in the trash
ObamaCare we’re repealing.

Thank Heaven
For huge egos.
Thank Heaven for them all
No matter where, no matter who
They pissed off all the voters
Now they’re screwed.

See the rest here

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When Liberal Cartoonists 'Attack'

Ted Rall is a liberal wiener who draws cartoons and practices trying to get through just one impression of Clint Eastwood in the mirror without pissing himself scared. Here is the tough guy in action

He sounds only semi-looney toons in the video, check out a passage from his new book "The Anti-American Manifesto."

Christian fundamentalists, the millennial end-of-theworlders obsessed with the Left Behind series about the End Times, neo-Nazi racists, rural black-helicopter Michigan Militia types cut from the same inbred cloth as Timothy McVeigh, allied with “mainstream” gun nuts and right-wing Republicans, have been planning, preparing, and praying for the destruction of the “Godless,” “secular” United States for decades. In the past, they formed groups like the John Birch Society and the Aryan Nations. Now the hard Right has a postmodern, decentralized non-organization organization called the Tea Party.

Right-wing organizational names change, but they amount to the same thing: the reactionary sociopolitical force—the sole force—poised to fill the vacuum when collapse occurs. The scenario outlined by Margaret Atwood’s prescient novel The Handmaid’s Tale—rednecks in the trenches, hard military men running things, minorities and liberals taken away and massacred, setting the stage for an even more extreme form of laissez-faire corporate capitalism than we’re suffering under today—is a fair guess of how a post-U.S. scenario will play out unless we prepare to turn it in another direction…

A war is coming. At stake: our lives, the planet, freedom, living. The government, the corporations, and the extreme right are prepared to coalesce into an Axis of Evil. Are you going to fight back? Will you do whatever it takes, including taking up arms?…

...Part of the revolution may be fought virtually by hackers. Those individuals are every bit as valauable as people who blow things up.

Read the entire article this came from at Big Hollywood (via Memeorandum)

Here's a reality check for Oscar Meyer

  1. If I'm not mistaken I'm pretty sure the military votes Republican by a margin of about 3:1
  2. Not all liberals are gun control advocates, but all gun control advocates are
  3. Guess who has all the freakin' guns tough guy...

Imagine in your mind this guy egging "revolutionaries" on to "blow things up" while he proposes himself to be the look out. Thank God this tool is just an Osama bin Laden with stage fright who only has a pair until the sharpie ink he used to draw them washes off his crotch.

I just hope the reality of my three points never changes.

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You Mean Bush's New Book Actually Has Words?

Bush book munchies

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